You (Can’t/Won’t/Don’t Want To) Read This Blog Post

Quick little language hack today . . . let me know what you think:

Are you a “can’t” person?

I know I am (or at least I used to be . . . I’ve gotten a lot better over the last few years.)

Faced with challenging, unpleasant or “Scary” tasks or even opportunities I’d often find myself saying or thinking “Oh, I *can’t* do that. I’ve got to much to do/I don’t have time/etc.”

Which is really, uh, bullshit.

Because generally when I say I “can’t” do something (whether it be helping a friend move or dropping everything to go on a crazy, stripper-filled trip to Vegas) I don’t mean I “can’t” do it at all . . .

I mean that I won’t do it . . .

Or I don’t WANT to do it . . .

Or I’m SCARED to do it . . .

Or I don’t know HOW to do it . . .

Or, heck, I just have something else already on my calendar that I’d RATHER do.

But I just don’t want to take the actual responsibility of saying so.

(OK, there are certainly things in this world that I’m physically, mentally or emotionally completely incapable of actually doing. I will never dunk a basketball. I will never seduce a goat. OK, I probably COULD seduce a goat but I DON’T WANT TO . . ugh. What am I talking about again?)

If you think about it, you’ll probably realize that saying “I can’t do that” is a bit of a get out of jail free card (and a dangerous one at that.)

It’s a way of deflecting an ambition or a request without taking any personal responsibility at all . . .

(Heck, I’ve got an Aunt who holds onto the word “Can’t” like a particularly fuzzy and warm teddy bear, keeping her safe and free from actually having to break out of her comfort zone and really do something with her life. Harsh but true.)

So how about instead of saying you “Can’t” do something, you ditch the BS and just say what you actually MEAN . . .

So “I can’t help you move on Sunday” becomes “I don’t want to help you move on Sunday.”

“I can’t quit my job and start my business” becomes “I’m SCARED of what will happen if I quit my job and PETRIFIED to find out that I’m not actually good enough to make my crazy idea work.”

And “I can’t take 2 weeks off to go do yoga in Thailand because I have too much work to do” becomes “I’M REALLY LAME.”

Anyway, you get the idea.

I’ve been playing this game for a few weeks now and, honestly, it’s scared the bejeezus out of me. I’ve suddenly started noticing a LOT more areas of my life where I’m limiting myself or taking the “easy route” instead of going after what I actually want.

And I’ve started, inch by inch, to eliminate those areas, take some responsibility and live a bit more.

So, can YOU eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary?

Whatever you do, don’t tell me that you “can’t.”

Later.

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