Hey folks,
If you’ve been following me on twitter you know that I spent the weekend down in Las Vegas at Ken Mcarthur’s JV Alert Live Seminar . . .
Or, well, I spent the weekend near Las Vegas anyway.
For some reason or other Ken decided to have the seminar at the Montelago Village Resort and Casino . . . which is a weird and worrisome not-quite-a-ghost-town-but-close megaresort about 17 miles from the Las Vegas strip.
The place is downright creepy . . . and would probably be a great setting for a zombie movie.
On the upside, the resort has a man-made lake and is within spitting distance of Celine Dion’s house.
On the downside, the Montelago is suffering a slow and depressing death and is 17 MILES FROM THE STRIP. (Oh grand vision of Las Vegas, why must you tempt me so.)
As for the Seminar itself, I’d give it an A- for networking and a solid C for actual content and value. I met some amazing people in my 4 days at the Montelago, solidified some existing relationships and cooked up quite a few evil schemes that will pay off in the future.
But I didn’t learn a thing.
One by one the speakers clambered up onto the stage, told their life stories and launched into a pitch without delivering anything close to actual value.
Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Eben Pagan, but these days I expect to actually get some value for my hard earned cash.
Even Joe Sugarman, who I was greatly looking forward to meeting, completely failed to deliver. His talk was titled something like “How To Improve Your Copy In 3 Easy Steps” but he spent 2 hours talking about Batman Credit cards and failed ads and then tried to sell us skin cream.
It was surreal.
I still love the whole JV Alert crowd. They’re all warm, passionate people and I consider many of them to be good friends, but if you’re going to go, go for the networking and skip the pitchfest in the room.
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Hey Folks,
Welcome back to the HardWorking words newsletter.
You remember that old Gershwin brothers song?
I think it was called “Let’s call the whole thing off” and I bet you can hum it in your head.
Or heck, you can even sing it out loud. I promise nobody will look at you weird. It goes like this . . .
“You say Poh-TAY-to and I say Poh-TAH-to . . .
You say To-MAY-to and I say To-MAH-to
Poh-TAY-to, Poh-TAH-to . . .
To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to . . .
Let’s call the whole thing off.”
It’s a fun song, and to me at least, it seems to be a pretty apt metaphor for all the screaming and rambling going on in the news these days . . .
After all, I don’t care if you call it a Poh-TAY-To or a Poh-TAH-To, it still tastes great covered in butter and sour cream.
And it doesn’t matter if the chattering heads on the news rant about an “economic slowdown,” a “financial meltdown” or (GASP! EEK!) a *recession . . . it’s still a big, scary mess that’s going to hurt a whole lot of good people.
Now, I’m not saying this to get you down or to raise your anxiety . . . If the continued reign of “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” at the box office tells us anything it’s that people are looking for light escapism these days.
But personally, it drives me *nuts* when I see people dashing around, arguing semantics and rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic instead of taking the simple, proven steps they need to survive (and even grow their businesses) during the recession.
Because, hey, it’s a FACT . . .
* Unemployment is EXPLODING . . . did you know that since January 750,000 Americans have lost their jobs? (Heck, I personally know 3 people who have lost theirs just in the last 2 weeks.)
* Businesses big and small are going to die sudden, painful deaths . . . think Lehman and WaMu were bad? Wait until the credit crunch and lack of consumer confidence trickles down to the everyday small and medium businesses that make this economy run.
* Retirement as we know it is DONE . . . Hear that crazy sound coming from the stock market? That’s the sound of millions of retirees (or soon to be retirees) watching their savings go up in smoke because of the unethical (and moronic) actions of the money men they trusted.
So say it with me, Potato, Potato, Potato.
And now take a deep, deep breathe and force a smile on your face, because . . .
=====================
It’s Time For The Good News
=====================
Even during the deepest depths of the Great Depression (and this one ain’t “great” and might never become so) . . .
* Over 75 percent of Americans were gainfully employed and had money to spend . . .
* Smart entrepreneurs *started* businesses, created jobs and absolutely thrived . . . .
* And even in the darkest of times people figured out how to mash up that nasty potato and get rich?
And you can do the same thing. But only if you take a deep breathe, think straight and act smart.
So here’s your Potato Survival Kit . . .
1. Figure out your 80/20
Most businesses get 80 percent of their business from 20 percent of their customers. Strangely enough, most customers have *no idea* what 20 percent is actually keeping them alive and waste all their time and effort going after the great unwashed masses.
Where are you really getting your business from? How can you serve them better? How can you give them better value? How can you get more of your most profitable customer?
2. Say Goodbye to Flash And Dazzle
Personally I’ve never been a big fan of flash and dazzle image advertising . . . but in an economy like what we’ve got today, relying on image to bring in sales is absolute suicide.
If you want to survive (and maybe even grow your business) during our current little problem you’ve got to focus on proven, tested marketing techniques that actually create sales and put money in your pocket.
If you aren’t currently using direct response marketing techniques to feed your business, it’s time to start. If you’re already hip (or semi hip) to the ways of direct response, it’s time to ramp up the testing and hold yourself and your marketing team to a much higher standard.
3. Give People What They Want
Gary Halbert is famous for saying “When All Else Fails, Give People What They Want.”
Not what you think they want.
Not what you want them to want.
But what they *actually* want.
I wrote a whole article on this in the past, but when times are tough it’s essential that you figure out what core desires your customers have and find a way to fulfill them.
Which might mean lowering your prices . . .
Which might mean changing the way you package and sell your products . . .
Which might mean giving away a whole bunch of value for free . . .
And which almost definitely means getting out of your comfort zone.
Later skater,
C
P.S. If you’re an employee drawing a salary week in and week out? You’ve *got* to start looking around for your own income stream. Right now even a stiff breeze is enough to cause most companies to lay you off. In a down economy, the only safe thing to do is work for yourself.
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Lot’s to cover today, so let’s just cut to it in handy-dandy numbered form:
1. “Mr. Moneyfingers’” birthday was last week. I’m now a whopping 31 years old. Strangely, due to back surgery, I now feel younger than I did when I was thirty. It’s the fountain of youth in the form of a small, angry scar.
2. Some fellow Office Nomads and I are taking part in the Seattle AIDS walk on October 4th. My goal is to raise $250 bucks for AIDS research, but to do so I need your help. Check out this website and drop a couple of bucks for a good cause.
3. Holy @#$#@!!! what the heck happened to the economy?!
Unless you’ve been playing Rock Band 2 non stop for the last couple of weeks (personally, I could play those Bon Jovi songs forever), you know that the American economy is teetering like a late-game Jenga tower.
Which is bad for everybody.
But if you listen to the advice I’m about to give you, it doesn’t have to be particularly bad for *you.*
Why?
Because I’m going to tell you . . .
——————————————————————–
3 Simple Ways For Your Business To Make Really Good Money In Really Bad Times
——————————————————————–
1. Turn “Old” Customers Into “New” Customers
If you’re like most business folk, you spend a tremendous amount of time, energy and money trying to turn strangers into customers . . . and almost completely ignore your current and lapsed customers.
But I’ll tell you right now that your “dead customer” file is an absolute goldmine . . . a goldmine you can’t afford to ignore in “tough economic times.”
Why?
Because, if you follow some simple steps, it’s tremendously easy to to bring “dead” customers back to life. In direct marketing circles, a hefty list of “buyers” is seen as the holy grail. If folks have bought from you before, they’re way, way more likely to buy from you again . . . if you just ask them to and make it worth their time.
So here’s what you should do:
1. Compile a list of “dead” customers who have bought from you in the past but dropped off between 6 months and 2 years ago.
2. Draft a letter where you offer your “dead” customers a discount on a product or service they actually want, and offer them some kind of valuable bonus or bribe that will make their life better in some way.
3. Sit back in awe and wonder as those musky old “dead” customers spit and sputter back to life and buy, buy, buy.
2. Use Joint Ventures to provide your customers with extra value . . . and get paid for your time.
This is one of those “no brainer” things that almost nobody actually does, and almost everybody should.
Like I said a second ago, a list of buyers is tremendously valuable. If people have bought from you in the past, they’re likely to buy from you again . . . and they’re likely to actually listen to you when you tell them to buy from someone else.
Most internet businesses are built from the ground up on this principle. I know quite a few internet entrepreneurs who make more selling other people’s stuff to their lists than they do selling their own stuff. Heck, some of these guys don’t even have any products of their own at all.
So how do you set up a joint venture that pays off fast?
1. Find a product or service that’s complimentary to what you’ve got to sell or that your customers would be interested in.
2. Promote that product or service to your customers in exchange for a percentage of sales.
3. Get paid for your time, without having to do any real work and without having to move inventory.
Do you sell custom guitars? Find a tube-amp manufacturer who you respect and offer to promote to your customers in exchange for a percentage of the action. If they’re smart, they’ll hop all over the deal and you’ll both make money.
And if you think that your business “different” and that you can’t do JV’s, you’re wrong.
3. Give Your Best Stuff Away . . . and wait and see what you *get* in return.
I’m not a big fan of Business Networkers International (BNI), but I do really dig their tag line: Givers Gain.
If you want to do well in a tough economy, you’ve got to stand out. And the best way to stand out is to provide ridiculous, incredible value.
You can do that by giving away information (which is really what I’m doing here), by giving a sample of your product or by giving payment terms that are customer friendly. But the point is to *give* your customers value.
Why?
Well, for one thing it helps to build a nice bond with your customers.
For another, it develops a feeling of reciprocity. As human beings, we’re hard wired to *give back* to folks who give us things. I don’t have room to cover the whole concept here, but trust me, it works.
When you give your customers value, you gain trust, referrals and sales.
And there you go.
OK, it’s time for a . . .
SHAMELESS PLUG: I often run campaigns just like these for clients of my “Moneyfingers, Inc.” consulting service. I’m damnably selective about who I take on for clients, but if you’ve got a sizable list of past customers and a quality business, you may qualify. Hit me up with an email and we’ll find out.)
And that’s it, folks. I’ll be writing about my take on the Microsoft Ad debacle later this week (short version: I still think they’re first ad was pretty good . . . but where they went from there was embarrassing.)
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Over on Orcas Island this weekend I had the following conversation with the lovely mid-fiftieswoman who ran the resort we were at:
Me: “Is it a nice room?”
Her: “Oh, it’s a very nice room.”
Me: “Really?”
Her: “I like this room so much that if you don’t like it you can go down to the water, grab a piece of driftwood and come back here and beat me with it.”
Pretty great guarantee, huh?
I bet there’s a whole newsletter in there somewhere, but I already covered a lot of this stuff in the last issue.
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Hi folks,
Welcome back to the all new, all different Hard Working Words Newsletter.
In just a moment I’m going to let you in on the “secret” that top copywriters and marketers rely on to make their offers absolutely irresistible and to blow sales through the roof . . . .
But first a little housekeeping . . .
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Surgery Schmurgery
=================
As many of you know, I went in for back surgery two Fridays ago. I was nervous as hell before going under the knife, but so far the results have been absolutely miraculous. For the first time in four years I feel like I can stand up straight and walk like a man. I’ve still got some tingle in my right foot and I need to get back to stretching and taking care of myself, but so far so good. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, especially you folks who have been following me on Twitter.
===========================
I Wish I Could Wear A Suit To Work
===========================
Most days I wear yoga pants and an old T-shirt to work (and, lately, a mustache. It’s temporary. I promise.) but sometimes I yearn for the days when you had to wear a suit to work and 5 martini lunches were the norm. And when that happens, I watch “Mad Men.” You’ve probably heard of this show (it’s about Madison Ave. Ad guys in 1960) but if you haven’t, check it out. Awesome stuff.
And now for the main event . . .
====================
I Want You To *Rip Me Off*
====================
It happens over and over and over . . .
As a high fallutin’ marketing consultant and copywriter I’ve got a *lot* of people calling me up and asking me to help them with their copy.
I mean a *lot.* Mountains . . .
Unfortunately, most of the business folk who call me up need help with more than just their copy. They need a fundamental readjustment of how they look at their business and what the heck it is that they’re actually offering.
After all, as I’ve said before, your copy really is only the *third* most important part of your marketing.
First is your list . . . how hot and ready to buy are the people you’re selling to?
Second is your offer . . . what the heck are you actually selling them and why is it a screaming deal?
And then third you’ve got your copy . . . the actual words on the page that create romance and mystery and seal the deal.
The bad news is that most business people have had *no idea* how to put together a truly compelling offer.
So let me just lay it on the table . . .
=============================
The Secret To Truly “Kick Ass” Offers
=============================
What’s the secret to a truly “kick ass” offer?
Simple: When your prospect reads (or hears about) your offer, it should appear to be so compelling and so utterly generous that they feel like they’re RIPPING YOU OFF.
When your prospect takes out their credit card and buys what you’ve got to sell, they should feel like they’re not just getting the better end of the deal . . . they should feel like they’re taking advantage of you, stealing your lunch money and leaving you wheeping and shivering in the hallway wondering what the hell went wrong.
This is something I actually learned from marketing great Jeff Paul. When I’ve worked with Jeff in the past, he’s always pushed me to figure out how to pump up the offer and make it an absolute no brainer that your prospects will KICK THEMSELVES if they miss out on it.
======================================
So How Do You Turn Your Offer Into A True “Rip Off?”
======================================
Good question . . . .
1. Be Generous.
Way too many marketers and business folk out there are stingy in what they give out. They either don’t include bonuses at all, or they pack their products with untargeted BS bonuses that nobody actually wants.
Ask yourself, what do my prospects truly want that I can give them at low or no cost that will skyrocket the VALUE of my product? And then give it away.
2. Sell A Kick Butt Package with high perceived Value.
There’s that V word again. A good offer needs to have multiple components, all of which resonate with the core desires of your audience. Which is just a fancy way of saying, “You’ve got to give your prospects what they really want and give it to them at a price they think is a STEAL.”
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to be “cheap.” I’ve sold packages for $5k or $6k that had a “real value” in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. The key is that you’ve got to spend the time really laying out what your product and its components are WORTH and compare it to the tiny, tiny amount of money you’re asking your prospect to pay.
3. Be Creative.
Uh oh. Among Direct Marketers, creativity is a dirty word. But when you’re crafting your offer is one of the few times you’re really allowed to let your creativity shine. How creative can you be in your payment terms to make it as easy as possible for your prospect to buy from you . . . and still make money?
Can you cover shipping? Can you send them the package for 30 days for free to try out? Anything you can do to “grease the chute” will make your offer sing.
4. Think long term.
This is the biggie. Remember, you’re not trying to make just one sale; you’re trying to get a customer for life. If that means making LESS profit up front, go for it. Be generous. Put yourself out there. Put yourself at the mercy of your customers. And once you’ve got your prospect hooked on what you’ve got to sell, reel em in again and again.
Got it? Good.
Now I’m going to go enjoy my brand spanking new back. =-)
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Hi Folks,
Welcome back to the Hard Working Words Newsletter.
Usually I try to get this little missive out as close to the 15th
of each month as possible . . . but this month a little bit of
travel (I was down in San Diego hanging with Bob Serling, Jason
Moffat and others) and a whole lot of pain (the back pain fairy
spent this whole week chewing on my spine like an over-ripe melon)
conspired to make me late, late, late.
But I’m going to make up for it . . . .=-)
But first a little “Admin” . . .
=================================
Haddad Joins Twitter . . . World Trembles
=================================
Alright, I hid under my luddite bus as long as possible. About two
weeks ago I poked my head into the “Twitterverse” . . . and really
liked what I saw. Now I’m a twittering maniac.
If you’re into that newfangled “Web 2.0″ stuff you can follow me at
haddadink.com, you’re going to notice
two things in rapid succession . . .
1. My shiny, glowing head, artfully arched eyebrow and Mona Lisa
smile . . .
2. A testimonial from direct marketing superstar Jeff Paul saying
that my copy “Sucks In Cash Like A Nuclear Powered Vacuum Cleaner.”
Now, why would I put a testimonial from Jeff way up at the top of
my site, even before the headline?
Well, if you think about it for a minute, it’s pretty obvious. If
*I* open up my sales letter (or website or ad) bragging about how
great I am, I just sound like a egotistical git.
But if a client says it for me (especially a well known client)
then all those big promises are suddenly a heck of a lot more
believable.
In fact, the testimonials I’ve got up near the top of my page (from
guys like Jeff Paul, David Garfinkel, Harlan Kilstein, Jason
Moffatt and Michael Cage) do more to establish my credibility as a
marketer and copywriter, and to convince prospects to get in touch
with me than all the other copy on my site combined.
Not to be hypey, but good testimonials are marketing ROCKET FUEL .
. . they cut right through the “BS meter” of your prospect, and let
you obliterate objections with lightning speed.
Or at least they should.
But unfortunately, most of the testimonials you see out there in
the marketing wild . . . err . . . kind of suck.
They’re over-long, rambling and usually have no point at all . . .
plus they’re often banished to some never-read “testimonials page”
to die.
But in today’s article I’m going to give you a step-by-step process
you can use to get great, high-impact testimonials from your
customers every time.
================
Where’s the Sizzle?
================
Legendary copywriter John Carlton has three basic rules for a good
testimonial:
1. Short
2. Specific
3. Sizzling
Here are two examples of short testimonials that John’s received
that follow his three rules:
” Who says crime doesn’t pay? John let me steal one of his
headlines for a seminar pitch… netting me a cool $251,771 in
just 3 days.”
“I study Carlton’s copy like a 14 year-old boy reads Playboy.
Completely dazzled, entranced and full of desire.”
Can you see how these testimonials POP off the page? In very few
words, they convey that John’s copy makes money (and a LOT of
money) and that the man knows a thing or two about stirring up
emotions. If you look at John’s marketingrebel.com site,
you’ll see that the whole damn page is covered in these kind of
testimonials . . .many of them from the big “gurus” of the online
marketing world.
(Actually, at a recent conference, John called this page his “wall
of testimonials.”)
And every one of those testimonials in another slat in the bridge
that makes you want to walk up to John and hand him your wallet.
Like I said, powerful stuff . . .
=====================================================
“OK, Chris, But How Do *I* Get Testimonials Like That?
=====================================================
Ahh, good question.
You see, when most people go testimonial hunting, they do it the
absolute *wrong* way . . .
They send out an email to a client or a customer and say “Hi, would
you give me a testimonial?”
And then they wait.
And then they wait some more.
And then, maybe after a little bit more waiting (and a few more
emails sent) they finally get a response . . . only to find that
the testimonial they received is long, boring and vague.
==============================================
So How Do You Turn A “Lame” Testimonial Into A Winner?
==============================================
Another good question.
The best way to get “awesome” testimonials is to . . .
1. Use powerful questions to lead your customers to give you what
you want.
2. Edit like crazy.
Now, in the age of Amazon testimonials and “Web 2.0″ it might sound
a little weird to say that you should “lead” your customers.
And I’m in no way suggesting that you should put words in their
mouth.
But the fact of the matter is that writing something (even
something as simple as a testimonial) scares the heck out of most
people.
So how do you conquer their fear, get past the vagueness and get
the “Power Testimonials” you need?
With “Testimonial Generator Questions.”
Here are just a few of the questions I send out to people when I’m
collecting testimonials for my products or the products of my
clients:
1. What problem were you facing that (our product) solved?
2. How much has (our product) increased your profits or income?
3. How much time or money has (our product) saved you?
4. Has (our product) made your life easier? How?
5. What did you like about (our product?) What do you like about
the experience of working with (our company?)
6. Were you pleasantly surprised by any part of your experience
with (our product?)
7. What did you find remarkable about (our product?)
8. What is the most important thing people should know about (our
product?)
9. Would you recommend(our product) to your friends, families or
co-workers? Why?
10. What part of your experience with (our product) makes you want
to do business with us again?
11. Other thoughts or comments?
Send out specific questions like these and you’ll be *shocked* how
many more of your customers are willing to give you powerful,
sales-producing testimonials.
Of course once you get the form back, your job is just half done.
That’s when we get to step two . . . editing!
Now, again, I’m not saying that you should alter or change what
your customer is saying in any way.
In fact, you want to keep the rhythm, the cadence and the style of
what your customers say as much as possible. After all, if every
testimonial on your site sounds the same, your customers will smell
a scam.
But you also want to help your customers to be their most succinct
and specific selves.
That means going through their responses to your questions, picking
out the most powerful bits and forming them into a new, probably
shorter and more powerful testimonial.
And then you put your new and improved testimonial under your
customer’s nose to make sure it passes muster.
The result?
Short, specific and sizzling testimonials that do wonders for your
credibility . . . and for your sales.
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Chris “Mr. Moneyfingers” Haddad here with the June, 2008 edition of *your* Hard Working Words Newsletter.
I’m just back in HWW central after a long (and lovely) week out on the East Coast where I gorged on expensive Manhattan cuisine, got baked and burned while crossing the Brooklyn bridge and had the supreme (and supremely fun . . . I recommend it) honor of being the officiant at my good friend Mason Rabinowitz’s wedding to the absolutely *awesome* Cari Strand.
All of which has *nothing* to do with today’s brief (but powerful) topic. A little thing I like to call “Fuzzy Scarcity.”
=============
Fuzzy Scarcity
=============
If you’ve been studying marketing for any length of time you already know that *scarcity* is one of the most whoppingly powerful tools you can use to get your prospects to actually reach into their pockets and buy your stuff.
In fact, it’s so powerful that Robert Cialdini lists it as the 5th and final “Weapon of Influence” in his awesome book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” ( If you haven’t already, you really should read it) . . .
And pretty much every copywriting book or course out there *demands* that you include a level of scarcity in your sales letter or ad in order to tickle the back of your prospect’s brain, kill the “I’ll think about it” impulse, spur immediate action and justify a higher price.
Now, most of the time including a sales-popping level of scarcity in your promotion is pretty easy . . .
If you’re selling a widget, you’ve generally only got so many on hand . . .
If you’re selling a seminar, there really are only so many seats you can fit in a room . . .
And if you’re selling a service, there really *is* a limit on how many clients you can handle at any given time.
But what do you do if (as in the case when you’re selling a digital product like an ebook, an audio recording or a downloadable video) what you’ve got is essentially *unlimited?*
Well, that’s when you bring in what I like to call . . . Fuzzy Scarcity.
===========================
What The Heck Is “Fuzzy Scarcity?”
===========================
Fuzzy scarcity is where you create doubt and turbulence in your prospect’s mind by saying that while this fantastic deal at this fantastic price and with these mind-breaking bonuses *is* available right now . . . it *might* not be tomorrow.
You *might* decide to raise the price (maybe even *double* it) . . .
You *might* decide that that super-awesome “deal maker” bonus is just too damned cool . . .
Or you even *might* decide to take the whole shebang off the market forever after you make a certain number of sales just because that’s what you want to do . . .
The key here, of course, is to keep the terms of your scarcity “Fuzzy” and vaguely defined . . . and to make sure that you never, ever (ever) lie. (There’s a special, and rather well populated, corner of hell reserved for marketers who lie about this sort of stuff.)
===============
Need an example?
===============
Here’s some “riffing” copy that I came up with while I was at John Carlton’s “17 Points Of Copywriting Success” workshop a couple of months back. (Tangentially, that conference is where the whole “fuzzy scarcity” concept stopped being “fuzzy” and solidified nicely in my mind.)
This is for an ebook I’m working on called “The Ultimate Best Man Speech” and this copy will appear pretty far down the sales letter . . .
“Hey, listen . . . if you’ve read this far down this letter it shows me that you’re serious about learning how to do this right. . . and about giving a really kick ass best man speech at your buddy’s wedding.
And, if this is right for you, I want to make sure you get your hands on this info and put it into action.
But here’s the deal.
My friends who have gone through the “Ultimate Best Man Speech Guide” think I’m kind of a moron. They think I’ve gotten way too excited . . .
With the audio recordings, the “plug and play” wedding speech examples, the instant email access to me and all the other awesome bonuses, they think I’ve gone overboard.
And I’m pretty sure that I’m going to either cut this package WAYYYY down, or I’m going to basically double the price.
Not sure.
But I’m thinking about it.
So if you want to get the “Sweetheart deal” you should grab it now.”
Get it?
Now, of course, for Fuzzy Scarcity to work, you first have to convince your prospect that they actually *want* what you’ve got to sell . . . but once you do even just a *hint* that you might take it away from them (or that they might get an “unfair” deal that nobody else is going to get) will have them buying like crazy.
P.S. Obviously there’s a whole lot more to say on this topic ranging from how to use bonuses to create scarcity to the fact that for a certain segment of the market scarcity is actually a feature (why the heck do you think people buy diamonds?) but that’s all way beyond the scope of this brief article.
——
And that’s that.
Before I go, just a quick tip of the hat to the late, great George Carlin. I doubt he had much love for Copywriters or marketers, but damn that man knew language.
Remember, you can always leave a comment on the blog version of this article on the HWW Blog: http://www.haddadink.com/blog
See you in the funny papers.
Chris
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Hi (NAME),
Welcome back to the Hard Working Words Newsletter . . .
No big preamble this month. Let’s just dive in and get right to the good old fashioned marketing meat . . .
In today’s issue . . .
============================================================
A Stupidly Simple Trick That Practically *Forces* People To Believe (Almost) Every Word That You Say
============================================================
I screamed like a sugar-addled pre-teen who’d clawed her way to the front row at a Hannah Montanna Concert.
Only louder.
And *slightly* manlier.
And not so much from “Oh my God it’s Miley!” excitement as from “Oh my God I’m going to die” pain.
You see, for about 12 years now (and for the last 3 years really bad) I’ve had horrible, terrible, awful, nasty, brain-addling back pain.
Not all the time.
I mean, heck, I go through long bouts where I bounce around like Tigger and do handstands for no reason at all.
But once or twice a year something *weird* happens and I go down for the miserable, Vicodin-loving count.
All the muscles in my back seize up.
My right hip crawls up under my armpit and lays down like a tired kitten.
And suddenly I don’t “walk” so much as shuffle, stumble and *rage* my way from place to place.
Now, over the years I’ve tried *everything* to get my spine to shut up and behave. Chiropractic, yoga, weird Russian electro stim therapy, whacky pills, meditation, stretches . . . you name it, I’ve signed up and paid my money.
And nothing has *really* worked long term . . .
I’ve never been able to find that “Magic” cure that I’ve so desperately been looking for (and that so many people seem downright eager to provide) . . .
============================================================================
And Then Last Week I Found Myself Flat On My Back In A Small Room Above A Dry Cleaner Screaming My Fool Head Off As An Ex Gymnastics Champion FORCED My Leg To Stretch In Ways I’m Not Quite Sure Are Natural
============================================================================
I screamed, bitched, swore, prayed and moaned my way through a full 2 hours of torture with this guy . . .
I hyperventilated, sweat my way through my T-shirt and, at several points, thought I was going to pass out . . .
I giggled like a maniac and, I’m not too manly to admit it, I cried . . .
And then the next day I went back and did it all again.
And while I’m not 100 percent back to “Tigger” mode yet, thanks to all that screaming and kvetching and pain, I am standing up straighter and happier than I have in months.
Which is pretty darned cool.
And makes my girlfriend happy (because a pain-wracked Haddad is a grumpy Haddad.)
==============================
Now, Here’s What This Is All About
==============================
In marketing, there are certain “Magic” words that you hear again and again and again.
Things like “Easy, Simple, Lazy and F.ree.”
Heck, I use these words all the time in my own work.
Because they’re extremely effective at appealing to the “Lizard brain” of most prospects.
And because, like I always say, Marketing Is The Art Of Making A Promise And *Keeping* It . . .
But there’s an advanced level component to this, which is that you’ve got to make a promise that your prospect can actually *believe.*
And the best way I’ve found to do that is to inject a tiny “damaging admission” into your pitch where you admit a small (or sometimes even *large* flaw.)
For instance, I was recently hired to write a sales letter for a hypnosis product (not creepy stage hypnosis, but cool brain-hacking stuff that really does work.)
Now, the obvious route would be to say that once you had these hypnotic “Conversational Hypnosis” powers you’d be able get those around you to do “Anything You Want.”
The problem with that kind of promise is that, to most people, it’s completely unbelievable.
It’s just too big of a pill to swallow and it sets off the “BS” meter like crazy.
So what we have to do is add a little bit of “damaging admission” sugar to this hypno medicine to disarm that raging BS meter.
How do we do that?
One of my favorite ways (and there are others) is with the word “Almost.”
Compare these two headlines . . .
1. “How To Use The Power Of Simple Conversations To Get Anyone To Do Anything You Want.”
Or
2. “How To Use The Power Of Simple Conversations To Get Anyone To Do (Almost) Anything You Want.”
Which one is more compelling?
Which one is more *believable?*
Which one disarms the BS meter?
Just using that one little word makes the big promise much, much more believable.
And *drags* the reader in to the letter to learn more. (As an aside, very early in the sales letter I talk about what hypnosis *can’t* do . . . and turn that into an advantage and a benefit. By pacing the skepticism of the reader, I’m able get them to swallow the big promise of the letter a lot more effectively.)
=============================================================
Now, What Does This Have To Do With My Screaming Back Pain Adventure?
============================================================
Just this:
When it comes to back pain relief, I’m a pretty darned jaded prospect.
I’ve heard it all, done it all, tried it all and gotten nowhere near the results I wanted.
So I’m really hard to sell.
If my friend Kerry had said “Go see this Johnny guy and he’ll fix you up no problem, no pain and you’ll feel like you were eating ice cream the entire time” I wouldn’t have believed him and wouldn’t have called the number . . . and would probably still be doped up on Vicodin and spending my days playing GTA 4 instead of working.
But instead, Kerry said “Go see Johnny. “It’ll hurt like hell, but you *will* get results. ”
And I ate that fish hook, line and sinker.
OK, so here’s your homework:
What small “damaging admission” can you add to your messaging to make your big promise more believable? I don’t recommend you use something like “It’ll hurt like hell” unless you’re going after body builders or folks like me who are already in pain. But what “skepticism killer” can you add into your copy?
More
It’s been a nasty typhoon of a week here at HWW central, and I’d be
lying if I didn’t think about letting this month’s newsletter slide
a bit. But I feel like we’ve got a contract here, you and I. And I
haven’t missed an issue in over 3 years, so why start now?
In today’s big (big . . . maybe too big) issue:
* Where and When . . . *You* can meet the Moneyfingers!
* Why You’re Website *Sucks*
* Remembering Ross Yockey
===============================================
Where and When . . . *You* Can Meet the Moneyfingers
===============================================
I’m traveling like crazy the next few months, partly for business,
partly for pleasure and partly out of sheer obligation. Here’s the
stuff you might want to know about:
* This very weekend I’ll be flying down to San Diego for Frank
Kern’s “Mass Control” event. Should be a heck of a party. Look me
up if you’re there.
* May 2 - 4th I’ll be in San Francisco for John Carlton’s “17
Points of Copywriting” Workshop. I’m almost desperately looking
forward to this and I’ve got it on authority that David Deutsch,
David Garfinkel, Mike Morgan and some other “heavy hitters” will be
in attendance.
* May 30th to June 1st I’ll be in Chicago for The System Seminar.
And that’s not to mention a trip to the Grand Canyon in mid May and
a week in NYC in June (where I’ll be officiating my friend Mason’s
wedding.)
======================
Why You’re Website *Sucks*
======================
(I fully expect this article to draw flames, angry comments and
hate mail. I also figure that it’ll hit a lot of folks right
between the eyes and lead them down the path to better marketing
and a more profitable business. So I figure that’s a pretty fair
trade off.)
As a freelance marketing wonk and direct response word mercenary I
get asked (and sometimes begged) to look at a *lot* of websites.
Sometimes these are client sites where I’m being paid to dig in and
ramp up conversion . . .
Sometimes they’re sites that friends of mine have put together . . .
And sometimes they’re the sites of random smelly strangers who
shove their iPhones in my face at parties, ply me with alcohol and
ask for free advice. (And then get *really* mad when I tell them
the truth.)
But the one thing that almost all of these websites have in common
(whether they’re for scrappy little service providers, monolithic
mega corps or cool little products) is that the overwhelming
majority of the absolutely *SUCK.*
They *SUCK* at engaging a target audience.
They *SUCK* at making a compelling offer.
And they *SUCK* at helping their owner build their company and make
MONEY.
===============
Why Do They Suck?
===============
It’s not because of the design (though most of the time the design
*is* pretty darned bad . . . either incompetently put together or
too damned pretty for its own good.)
And it’s not because of the copy (though the copy is usually limp
and lifeless and doing you no favors at all.)
No, what makes most websites *suck* is the attitude and the mindset
behind them.
=================================
What Makes Most Websites *Suck* Is EGO
=================================
If you look at a bunch of the websites out there on the wide and
wacky interweb, you’ll see that most of them are all about
“ME.”(Not me personally–though that would be pretty cool–but
about the company or the person behind them.)
They say things like “Welcome to Incredible corp. We specialize in
creating incredible solutions! We have an incredible background
story! Check out our incredible about us page! We’re really
incredible! Like us!”
And they basically *scare* customers away in droves by acting like
that one guy at the party with the bad toupee and the noxious
breathe who won’t stop telling you how cool his car is.
In other words . . .
====================================
Most Websites Are Egotistical And Obnoxious
====================================
And *nobody* likes (or buys from) egotistical and obnoxious people.
So what’s the cure to this dangerous and profit-killing affliction?
It’s to stop talking about *you* (or *me.* I’m confused. But I bet
you can figure it out) and to start talking about your customers.
In other words . . .
=======================================
Your Website Shouldn’t Talk About How Incredible *You* Are, It
Should Talk About The Incredible *Results* You Can Get For Your
Customers
========================================
For instance, if you were running a massage studio (I just got a
massage today and it’s deep on brain) you don’t open your website
talking about your training and your love of massage.
Instead, you talk about how *relaxed* your customer is going to be,
how much less pain they’ll be in and how *wonderful* of an
experience they’ll have when they book an appointment with you.
If you’re running a tech support company, you don’t talk about all
your *weird* certifications and your mastery of tech speak.
Instead, you tell your reader how they’ll be able to *relax* and be
more productive and get all their work done without having to stare
at the blue screen of death.
Now, I’m not saying that talking about yourself is *all* bad.
People *do* want to know about your background, your success
stories, your years of schooling and all those lovely credibility
builders.
But they only want to know that stuff in relation to how it effects
*them.*
And they only want to know it *after* you’ve told them about the
incredible *benefits* that you can get for them.
=====================
So Here’s Your Assignment
=====================
Right after you finish reading this article, pop open your web
browser and take a look at your copy. Read through it slowly and
put yourself in the shoes of a prospect who’s considering hiring
you or buying your stuff.
Now, as you read the copy, *who* is it really talking about? Is it
talking about the prospect, all the wonderful things you can do for
them and the *benefits* they’ll get when they pick up the phone?
Or is it talking about *you* and all the stuff that you *think* is
important but that your customers don’t care about and that’s
really just killing your sales?
Take this seriously and really answer that question and you’ll be
well on your way to making your website *suck* a heck of a lot less.
Comments? Questions? Harsh invectives? Hit me up on the blog at http://www.haddadink.com/blog
======================
Remembering Ross Yockey
======================
My friend Ross Yockey passed away on Sunday.
Ross was the father of my good friend and business partner Beth
Yockey Jones. He was also an Emmy winning documentarian, a heck of
a writer and a sincerely nice guy who, nonetheless, could get
downright vicious when something he cared about was on the line.
I learned that first hand a few years ago when Ross and I got into
fight over this very newsletter.
You see, Ross thought that writers had a responsibility to “elevate
the language” and improve the world with their writing. Whereas I
just wanted to make people laugh and sell stuff. And if you’ve been
on my list for a while you know that I don’t “elevate” much of
anything.
Ross got mad and disappointed every time that I sent out an email
riddled with typos or packed with grammatical atrocities. And he
wrote me long, lovingly-scathing emails pointing out where I went
wrong and pleading with me to shape up.
At one point he even threatened to unsubscribe from HWW if I didn’t
get my act together.
That was a few years ago now. He never did unsubscribe . . . and
most of the emails he sent me over the last year or so were more
complimentary than anything else. Though secretly I kept hoping for
another scathing review.
Anyway, the man was a friend and a mentor and he got me started in
this business back when I was young and lost. I’m going to miss
his emails, his goofy humor and his incredible passion and
curiosity. He lived his life well and left a lot of love behind.
Goodbye, Ross. You made this world better.
-c
P.S. I’m pretty sure that if he were alive, Ross would shoot me a
terse email saying that I shouldn’t have used the word “Sucks” in
this article at all. And he’s probably right.
About This Newsletter and Your Subscription
=======================================
©2008 Moneyfingers, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
If you like this article
=======================
Feel fre*e to share it with your own list, post it on
your site, post it on your blog, or add it to your
autoresponder. As long as you leave it intact and
don’t alter it in anyway. All links must remain
in the article.
And give me a shout out asking folks to subscribe by emailing
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Please notify me when my article is used online and off line.
===================================================
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