“I wear a watch for curiosity’s sake only.” - Dean Jackson
That’s it, I quit.
As of right now, right here in front of everybody (with you, dear reader, as my witness and my friend) I’m officially quitting my job.
That probably sounds weird.
I mean, can you really quit your job when your unemployed?
Eh, you didn't really want a pony anyway.
Quick little language hack today . . . let me know what you think:
Are you a “can’t” person?
I know I am (or at least I used to be . . . I’ve gotten a lot better over the last few years.)
Faced with challenging, unpleasant or “Scary” tasks or even opportunities I’d often find myself saying or thinking “Oh, I *can’t* do that. I’ve got to much to do/I don’t have time/etc.”
Which is really, uh, bullshit.
Because generally when I say I “can’t” do something (whether it be helping a friend move or dropping everything to go on a crazy, stripper-filled trip to Vegas) I don’t mean I “can’t” do it at all . . .
I mean that I won’t do it . . .
Or I don’t WANT to do it . . .
Or I’m SCARED to do it . . .
Or I don’t know HOW to do it . . .
Or, heck, I just have something else already on my calendar that I’d RATHER do.
But I just don’t want to take the actual responsibility of saying so.
(OK, there are certainly things in this world that I’m physically, mentally or emotionally completely incapable of actually doing. I will never dunk a basketball. I will never seduce a goat. OK, I probably COULD seduce a goat but I DON’T WANT TO . . ugh. What am I talking about again?)
If you think about it, you’ll probably realize that saying “I can’t do that” is a bit of a get out of jail free card (and a dangerous one at that.)
It’s a way of deflecting an ambition or a request without taking any personal responsibility at all . . .
(Heck, I’ve got an Aunt who holds onto the word “Can’t” like a particularly fuzzy and warm teddy bear, keeping her safe and free from actually having to break out of her comfort zone and really do something with her life. Harsh but true.)
So how about instead of saying you “Can’t” do something, you ditch the BS and just say what you actually MEAN . . .
So “I can’t help you move on Sunday” becomes “I don’t want to help you move on Sunday.”
“I can’t quit my job and start my business” becomes “I’m SCARED of what will happen if I quit my job and PETRIFIED to find out that I’m not actually good enough to make my crazy idea work.”
And “I can’t take 2 weeks off to go do yoga in Thailand because I have too much work to do” becomes “I’M REALLY LAME.”
Anyway, you get the idea.
I’ve been playing this game for a few weeks now and, honestly, it’s scared the bejeezus out of me. I’ve suddenly started noticing a LOT more areas of my life where I’m limiting myself or taking the “easy route” instead of going after what I actually want.
And I’ve started, inch by inch, to eliminate those areas, take some responsibility and live a bit more.
So, can YOU eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary?
Whatever you do, don’t tell me that you “can’t.”
Later.
My Grandmother, Violet Fiore, passed away around 7AM EST last Monday. I was lucky enough to be there when she went . . . and had the honor and the frightening responsibility of writing and delivering her eulogy.
Easily some of the hardest writing I ever had to do (though I managed to crank out my speech in about 25 minutes the day of the funeral. Speed is your friend.) And let me tell you, as a-religious as I am it was downright surreal to be standing in a Catholic Church talking about this stuff.
Still, I’m proud of what I wrote and everybody there seemed to really enjoy it. Plus it’s definitely written in a “Copy” style with lots of white space, rhythm, pauses etc.
You can see the whole Eulogy after the jump (about 800 words.)
(Having some trouble adding pictures to this post. Will go back and do so later.)
Once you learn the secret of reframing you'll find persuading other people to think like you do to be easy like magic.
Here’s a quick example of how to use a “Reframe” to literally “Change someone’s mind” and convince them to come to your way of thinking . . .
(Put really simply, “Reframing” is just a way of changing the context or “frame” of a situation so you can look at it from a different angle and with a different set of conclusions and beliefs.)
Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine (a very awesome, redheaded friend of mine who’s touch makes my skin tingle and who’s smile turns me to goo) and talking about the work of Dr. Joseph Riggio . . .
If you haven’t heard of Joseph, you should. He’s a done a ton of fascinating work helping high-achievers find real power and satisfaction in their lives and “going” deep with his stuff has had a tremendous effect on my mindset and productivity.
Hey folks . . .
Happy New Year!
I don’t know about you, but 2009 was BRUTAL and strange
and transformative and wonderful here in Haddad town . . .
I had my heart broken . . .
Got lasers blasted in my eyes by the target of a murder plot (seriously) . . .
Dropped 16 pounds in 5 days due to some freaky bug . . .
Lost my mind on a beach in Mexico . . .
Let go of a lifetime of secret self-loathing . . .
Made a gaggle of new friends . . .
Got arrested and humiliated in the desert (now THAT’S a story I’ll tell you someday) . . .
Got that “ADHD” thing figured out . . . (So THIS is what it’s like to concentrate)
Had some massive professional success (and a few crushing failures) . . .
And generally went through a personal “crucible”that left me battered and giddy
and flopping around like a fish out of water wondering what the heck is going to happen next.
But now 2009 is over, the slate has been wiped clean
and it’s time to get serious, clear the decks and hit 2010 HARD . . .
A Compliment Is Like A Cupcake, It Should Never Be Turned Down.
Can you take a compliment?
I mean, can you really?
Odds are you can’t.
In fact, if you’re like most people you take a compliment the same way you take a punch . . .
. . .with a sick little grimace on your face and a sudden, uncomfortable clenching of the bowels.
I see this all the time with my friends (and I used to see it in myself until I learned the “secret” I’m going to teach you today.)
Here's a quick "reversal" that will let you come up with killer Pre-Launch Content Fast
Recent, maddening conversation I had with a potential launch client (Facts have been changed to protect . . . nobody. But facts are kind of boring for a blog intro so let’s be light and funny instead. We’ll get to the “meat” in a second) . . .
Me: “Um, what are these videos you emailed to me?”
Him: “Those are our pre-launch content.”
Me: “These are your pre launch content?”
Him: “Yeah.”
Me: “Uhh. . . but it’s just video of you wearing funny superhero boxer shorts and screaming the lyrics to ‘Thriller’ in Spanish. On a pogo stick.’”
Him: “I know, awesome, right!”
Me: “Not awesome. Bouncy and strange and sexually exciting. But not awesome. Your prelaunch content is supposed to SHOCK AND AWE your market and prime the pump for the sale.”
Him: “This is shocking.”
Me: “Wrong kind of shocking.”
Him: “But you’re in awe.”
Me: “I’ve never seen anyone do that with a pogo stick. I never WANTED to see anyone do that with a pogo stick. I mean . . . where does the handle go?”
Him: “What handle? Anyway, what do I do instead?”
Me: “Great question. Read after the jump to find out. (Super sneaky launch-content creation trick.)
Yoda knew more about marketing than he was letting on.
You remember Yoda back in Empire Strikes back?
(You know the GOOD Star Wars movie back before big George Lucas decided to make Darth Vader all emo).
In “Empire,” Yoda rides Luke around Dogabah like a whiny pony and teaches him the ways of the force . . .
Near the end of his training, Yoda tells Luke to use the force to raise his sunken Starfighter out of the swamp so he can fly off and get his hand cut off by his Dad.
Luke looks at the multi-ton X-Wing, glances at Yoda with a “you’re nuts” look on his face and (already anticipating defeat) says “OK, I’ll try.”
Which prompts Yoda to utter one of the greatest bits of pop philosophy of the last 50 years (and one of the most quoted lines in movie history.) He says . . .
Do or do not. There is no try.”
Which is great for a couple of reasons.
1. It’s one of the coolest bits of “Pop Philosophy” of the last 50 years (and makes you wonder what happened to Lucas when he started writing the downright-horrible sequels).
2. Hidden in that sage statement is some REALLY good advice for marketers and persuaders of all stripes . . . and some cool little copywriting advice that can subtly shift even “tough” prospects from tire-kicker to eager buyer in just a few little sentences.
Here’s why . . .
Do you want a MAN or do you want a Puppy?
I got bored at the office yesterday and decided to kill a little time surfing the Craigslist personals (which are almost always HILARIOUS).
I was pretty saddened by what I saw so I wrote up this “advice article” and posted it for the girls to see. Got a LOT of positive feedback so I figured you guys might get a kick out of it too. =-)
Hey ladies,
I’ve spent the last hour skimming through a bunch of the “W4M” ads here on Craigslist and, honestly, have been a little freaked out by what I’ve found . . .
Why?
Because as far as I can tell, most of the women on here aren’t looking for “men” or even “guys” but actually want puppies.
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