Coming back from my camping trip this weekend I spotted one of the simplest written billboards in Madison Avenue Advertising History.
It said this:
“Free Wi-Fi at Tully’s”
And guess what? Next time I’m faced with a Tully’s or a Starbucks for sitting down and getting some work done, you know full well Tully’s will be getting my business.
Tangentially, while thinking about this I stumbled on The Clear Channel Outdoor website. Scary stuff. This is where the brand building crush comes from my friends. Be afraid!
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“Well, I just don’t have time to do it myself”
Over the last three years I’ve been freelancing I’ve learned some hard lessons about how to work with clients, just what the heck “Professional” means and how to make a decent live as an Indie Pro without sacrificing my ethics, my passions or my almost pathological need to take languid naps on Tuesday afternoons.
But the biggest lesson I learned is this one:
If you ever sit down with a client to kick off a project–and I don’t care if you’re a house cleaner or a high-priced consultant–and during the course of your conversation they say “Well, I just don’t have time to do it myself” pack up your bag, tip your hat, wish them luck and dash like the road runner out of their as quick as you can.
Why?
Because those ten little words say volumes.
They say “I see the work you do as a simple commodity that I could certainly do if I ‘Just had the time,’ not as a hard-earned and valuable skill that should be left to a qualified pro;”
They say “I’m going to nitpick, second guess and micromanage every single thing you do;”
They say “I’m going to wince, howl and raise my eyebrows at your prices, no matter how reasonable they might be;”
And, most importantly, they say “I’m not a client you’re going to enjoy working with, and isn’t enjoying what you do the whole point of running your own business?”
Now, of course I learned this one the hard way–and regretted every moment I spent working on that project.
So be smart, my friends. Be smarter than me. And know when to run.
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This little bit of magic comes from Dan Kennedy’s “The Ultimate Sales Letter Book.”
It’s the ten questions Dan always asks his clients before sitting down to write those blockbuster mail promotions he’s famous for.
Ready?
1. What keeps [your customers] awake at night, indigestion boiling up their esophagus, eyes open, staring at the ceiling?
2. What are they afraid of?
3. What are they angry about? Who are they angry at?
4. What are their top three daily frustrations?
5. What trends are occurring and will occur in their business lives?
6. What do they secretly, ardently desire most?
7. Is there a built-in bias to the way they make decisions? (I.E. Engineers=exceptionally analytical.)
8. Do they have their own language?
9. Who else is selling something similar to them, and how?
10. Who else has tried to sell them something similar and how has that effort failed?
Now, I stumbled onto this list while doing a little light reading this morning (I spend way too much of my time with marketing and copywriting books pushed up under my nose) and was struck by a few things that are worth noting:
-Any list that has the word “esophagus” in it is A OK with me.
-Nowhere in this list does Dan ask for demographics like age, weight or race. (Now, I like to know at least some of that info, but too many marketers make the deadly assumption that all middle-class, 50-year-old white men are the same.)
-Number ten is legitimately something I had never thought to ask before. We all know failure is a great teacher (The most successful people I know today failed many times getting there) but it’s not just a teacher for the folks doing the failing.
Study your competition, and when they fall down, get real close and examine the mud on their faces. You’ll learn something.
And now I’m off to go camping. No blogging, writing or email for 2 whole days. I doubt I’ll survive. Tell Martha and the kids I love them. And don’t you shed a tear. I’m going with my boots on.
c
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Last week I wondered whether Snakes on a plane was going to live up to the awe-inspiring word of mouth hype it’s garnered or just limp up there on the screen and disappoint.
I wondered if maybe it was making a promise it couldn’t keep.
Well, I went to the Seattle opening last night and . . . dear God, this is a movie that delivers exactly what it promises. It’s actually pretty damn refreshing to see a flick that honest.
Wowsza.
c
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After reading this month’s HWW Newsletter Friend of Haddonia Beth Yockey passed on this little Brand loving treasure from The Onion:
Three Of Man’s Closest Relationships With Brands
August 16, 2006
PASADENA, CA—Three of the five deepest emotional investments of local resident Ken Bowman are currently Apple, American Apparel, and Starbucks, sources close to the 27-year-old graphic designer said Monday. “American Apparel makes a strong debut this year, surging ahead of [Bowman's girlfriend] Missy [Levenson], Diesel and Tom’s Of Maine,” Bowman’s roommate and marketing consultant Dean Childers said. “Ken’s mother is still a solid number five, but Skechers is down to the seventh spot from number two last year, a drop which may spell wider implications.” Missing from this year’s list were Roomba, Bowman’s cat Pepsi, and Childers himself.
Thanks Beth. And thanks Onion.
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Welcome to the Hard-Working Words Newsletter–-a monthly publication from copywriter and word-mercenary, Chris Haddad. If you’d rather not receive this email, simply send a message to unsubscribe@haddadink.com. The little elves who live in my computer will take care of everything.
August, 2006
Hey folks,
The Hard Working words blog is just chocked full of copywriting and marketing goodness. Check it at HWW Blog and why not subscribe to the RSS feed while you’re there?
Getting to We
Norwegian people are weird. And so are Swedes. And the movies they make? Even weirder.
For instance:
Last week I curled up on my couch one night and watched a Norwegian/Swedish flick called “Kitchen Stories.” According to IMDB the plot is:
“A scientific observer’s job of observing an old cantakerous single man’s kitchen habits is complicated by his growing friendship with him.”
In other words, a middle aged Swedish guy is assigned to sit in a really high chair and watch what an old Norwegian guy does in his kitchen. And under no circumstances are the middle aged Swedish guy and the old Norwegian guy to, you know, actually talk to each other.
For a foreign film, it’s got the fewest subtitles I’ve ever seen. Vast stretches are just filled with old white men waggling their eyebrows at each other or sharing long, uncomfortable silences
And, of course, the two of them do talk and do become friends and do have long conversations about which side of the road it’s proper to drive on.
And of course I learned a whole bunch about marketing just by watching a couple of old Europeans make eyes at each other.
Oh, come on Chris, this one sounds like a stretch even for you
Oh, I’m not so sure about that.
Here’s the deal:
Theoretically you and customers have a pretty formal relationship. You sit in your high chair, they sit at their kitchen table and the interactions between you are formalized and few. You might send out a marketing piece, they might come buy something, but it’s a shallow relationship, a marriage of convenience and an unemotional one at that. In other words, you really don’t talk.
But to be successful in the marketing eco-sphere of 2006, you’ve got to come down off your high chair, get away from that “Us, Them” formal mentality. To be successful today, you’ve got to create a relationship and a community around your company.
To be Successful today You’ve got to Get to We
Do me a favor: Close your eyes and dig through your brain for those companies that you feel warm and fuzzy about.
Got it? Ok. What makes you feel so great about that company? Is it the quality of the product? Is it the quality of the product? Maybe a little. Is it their awe inspiring customer service? Maybe. But I’m willing to bet that the real cockle-warming, loyalty building factor is this: It’s a company that makes you feel special. It’s a company that makes you feel like you’re part of a community.
It’s a company that makes you think “We”
For instance, I’m a rabid and loyal Mac user. I ditched out of the world of PC’s 4 years ago and haven’t looked back. I read Mac news websites, get into long conversations about the relative merits of Mac OS X versus Windows and, yes, feel just that little bit smug and superior whenever I see a PC user struggling with an un-elegant behemoth of a laptop.
In other words, when I think Apple and the people who use their products, I think “We.” Apple has created a community (or maybe a cult) around their products and that community is key to keeping them strong and powerful in the future.
I used to drive a Volkswagen (now I’m a proud pedestrian) and thought “We” when I thought about VW drivers.
I go to a Yoga Studio and think “We” whenever I look around at all the smiling/grimacing/sweating faces.
Huh. Ok, but how do I get my customers to start thinking “We?” How do I convince them to build a community around my company and become emotionally invested in what I do?
Glad you asked. The keys to “We-ness” are:
A. Giving tremendously awesome customer service.
B. Making your customers feel special and unique.
C. Having an honest to god conversation with them on a regular basis.
Now, the first two are either self-explanatory or huge topics that I don’t have room for here. But that third part is easy. How do you have a regular conversation with your customers?
-You start a blog (and post to it on a regular basis. And actually reply to the comments left by customers or potential customers.)
-You send out a newsletter that’s packed not with self-promotional pap, but with honest-to-goodness useful information.
And you send regular messages–and I don’t really care how you do this–that show just how much you appreciate your customers.
Speaking of which: Have I told you how much I love you, Dear HWW readers? I don’t know that I have. So let me do it now.
I love you.
If you want to talk about this further, drop me a line at chris@haddadink.com
or pop over to the HWW Blog and leave a comment.
Get Strategic
Strategic marketing consultant and friend of Haddonia (he’s got diplomatic immunity in my office), Dominic Canterbury has just launched his very own blog. It’s downright tasty and refreshingly comabtive. Check it out at http://www.dcstrategic.blogspot.com
And that’s all for this month, folks. I gotta go talk to some customers.
Comments? Questions? Harsh invectives?: chris@haddadink.com.
All content is copyright Chris Haddad, 2006. Feel free to distribute this issue far and wide as long as the entire newsletter is kept intact.
To learn more about Hard-Working Words and the never-ending battle against jargon, visit http://www.haddadink.com or call 206-550-5558.
Chris Haddad is available to speak at your conference or event. From copywriting basics to marketing mastery, Chris can communicate complex concepts in a way that will have both your brain and your cheekbones aching.
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As you dear readers are already aware, blogging is a pretty big part of my life. I spew forth on marketing stuff here at HWW, diddle gamely with small business advice at The Biznik Blog and compose romantic sonnets and whine about women on my personal blog (no, I’m not giving you a link. And don’t try to search for it. It’s well guarded and better defended.)
So, how did I become such a paragon of bloggishness? By pulling info out of the big brain of Blogging consultant and all around nice guy DL Byron. Byron hosted a Biznik class a few weeks back, and while the class itself didn’t light my world on fire, the book he was there to promote did.
“Publish and Prosper: Blogging for your business” is a quick read; handsomely designed and packed full of all the little questions you might have about the where’s, what’s and why’s of blogging.
Check out the book’s blog at blogbusinessbook.com or buy it via Amazon.
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