HWW #39 – Why Your Website *Sucks*

It’s been a nasty typhoon of a week here at HWW central, and I’d be
lying if I didn’t think about letting this month’s newsletter slide
a bit. But I feel like we’ve got a contract here, you and I. And I
haven’t missed an issue in over 3 years, so why start now?

In today’s big (big . . . maybe too big) issue:
* Where and When . . . *You* can meet the Moneyfingers!
* Why You’re Website *Sucks*
* Remembering Ross Yockey

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Where and When . . . *You* Can Meet the Moneyfingers
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I’m traveling like crazy the next few months, partly for business,
partly for pleasure and partly out of sheer obligation. Here’s the
stuff you might want to know about:

* This very weekend I’ll be flying down to San Diego for Frank
Kern’s “Mass Control” event. Should be a heck of a party. Look me
up if you’re there.

* May 2 – 4th I’ll be in San Francisco for John Carlton’s “17
Points of Copywriting” Workshop. I’m almost desperately looking
forward to this and I’ve got it on authority that David Deutsch,
David Garfinkel, Mike Morgan and some other “heavy hitters” will be
in attendance.

* May 30th to June 1st I’ll be in Chicago for The System Seminar.

And that’s not to mention a trip to the Grand Canyon in mid May and
a week in NYC in June (where I’ll be officiating my friend Mason’s
wedding.)

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Why You’re Website *Sucks*
======================

(I fully expect this article to draw flames, angry comments and
hate mail. I also figure that it’ll hit a lot of folks right
between the eyes and lead them down the path to better marketing
and a more profitable business. So I figure that’s a pretty fair
trade off.)

As a freelance marketing wonk and direct response word mercenary I
get asked (and sometimes begged) to look at a *lot* of websites.

Sometimes these are client sites where I’m being paid to dig in and
ramp up conversion . . .

Sometimes they’re sites that friends of mine have put together . . .

And sometimes they’re the sites of random smelly strangers who
shove their iPhones in my face at parties, ply me with alcohol and
ask for free advice. (And then get *really* mad when I tell them
the truth.)

But the one thing that almost all of these websites have in common
(whether they’re for scrappy little service providers, monolithic
mega corps or cool little products) is that the overwhelming
majority of the absolutely *SUCK.*

They *SUCK* at engaging a target audience.

They *SUCK* at making a compelling offer.

And they *SUCK* at helping their owner build their company and make
MONEY.

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Why Do They Suck?
===============

It’s not because of the design (though most of the time the design
*is* pretty darned bad . . . either incompetently put together or
too damned pretty for its own good.)

And it’s not because of the copy (though the copy is usually limp
and lifeless and doing you no favors at all.)

No, what makes most websites *suck* is the attitude and the mindset
behind them.

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What Makes Most Websites *Suck* Is EGO
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If you look at a bunch of the websites out there on the wide and
wacky interweb, you’ll see that most of them are all about
“ME.”(Not me personally–though that would be pretty cool–but
about the company or the person behind them.)

They say things like “Welcome to Incredible corp. We specialize in
creating incredible solutions! We have an incredible background
story! Check out our incredible about us page! We’re really
incredible! Like us!”

And they basically *scare* customers away in droves by acting like
that one guy at the party with the bad toupee and the noxious
breathe who won’t stop telling you how cool his car is.

In other words . . .
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Most Websites Are Egotistical And Obnoxious
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And *nobody* likes (or buys from) egotistical and obnoxious people.

So what’s the cure to this dangerous and profit-killing affliction?

It’s to stop talking about *you* (or *me.* I’m confused. But I bet
you can figure it out) and to start talking about your customers.

In other words . . .

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Your Website Shouldn’t Talk About How Incredible *You* Are, It
Should Talk About The Incredible *Results* You Can Get For Your
Customers
========================================

For instance, if you were running a massage studio (I just got a
massage today and it’s deep on brain) you don’t open your website
talking about your training and your love of massage.

Instead, you talk about how *relaxed* your customer is going to be,
how much less pain they’ll be in and how *wonderful* of an
experience they’ll have when they book an appointment with you.

If you’re running a tech support company, you don’t talk about all
your *weird* certifications and your mastery of tech speak.
Instead, you tell your reader how they’ll be able to *relax* and be
more productive and get all their work done without having to stare
at the blue screen of death.

Now, I’m not saying that talking about yourself is *all* bad.

People *do* want to know about your background, your success
stories, your years of schooling and all those lovely credibility
builders.

But they only want to know that stuff in relation to how it effects
*them.*

And they only want to know it *after* you’ve told them about the
incredible *benefits* that you can get for them.

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So Here’s Your Assignment
=====================

Right after you finish reading this article, pop open your web
browser and take a look at your copy. Read through it slowly and
put yourself in the shoes of a prospect who’s considering hiring
you or buying your stuff.

Now, as you read the copy, *who* is it really talking about? Is it
talking about the prospect, all the wonderful things you can do for
them and the *benefits* they’ll get when they pick up the phone?

Or is it talking about *you* and all the stuff that you *think* is
important but that your customers don’t care about and that’s
really just killing your sales?

Take this seriously and really answer that question and you’ll be
well on your way to making your website *suck* a heck of a lot less.

Comments? Questions? Harsh invectives? Hit me up on the blog at http://www.haddadink.com/blog

======================
Remembering Ross Yockey
======================

My friend Ross Yockey passed away on Sunday.

Ross was the father of my good friend and business partner Beth
Yockey Jones. He was also an Emmy winning documentarian, a heck of
a writer and a sincerely nice guy who, nonetheless, could get
downright vicious when something he cared about was on the line.

I learned that first hand a few years ago when Ross and I got into
fight over this very newsletter.

You see, Ross thought that writers had a responsibility to “elevate
the language” and improve the world with their writing. Whereas I
just wanted to make people laugh and sell stuff. And if you’ve been
on my list for a while you know that I don’t “elevate” much of
anything.

Ross got mad and disappointed every time that I sent out an email
riddled with typos or packed with grammatical atrocities. And he
wrote me long, lovingly-scathing emails pointing out where I went
wrong and pleading with me to shape up.

At one point he even threatened to unsubscribe from HWW if I didn’t
get my act together.

That was a few years ago now. He never did unsubscribe . . . and
most of the emails he sent me over the last year or so were more
complimentary than anything else. Though secretly I kept hoping for
another scathing review.

Anyway, the man was a friend and a mentor and he got me started in
this business back when I was young and lost. I’m going to miss
his emails, his goofy humor and his incredible passion and
curiosity. He lived his life well and left a lot of love behind.

Goodbye, Ross. You made this world better.

-c

P.S. I’m pretty sure that if he were alive, Ross would shoot me a
terse email saying that I shouldn’t have used the word “Sucks” in
this article at all. And he’s probably right.

About This Newsletter and Your Subscription
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