Use These “Reframes” To Change Minds At Will

Here’s a quick example of how to use a “Reframe” to literally “Change someone’s mind” and convince them to come  to your way of thinking . . .

(Put really simply, “Reframing” is just a way of changing the context or “frame” of a situation so you can look at it from a different angle and with a different set of conclusions and beliefs.)

Last night I was hanging out with a friend of mine (a very awesome, redheaded friend of mine who’s touch makes my skin tingle and who’s smile turns me to goo) and talking about the work of Dr. Joseph Riggio . . .

If you haven’t heard of Joseph, you should. He’s a done a ton of fascinating work helping high-achievers find real power and satisfaction in their lives and “going” deep with his stuff has had a tremendous effect on my mindset and productivity.

(He’s also a client of mine and I’m currently in the middle of writing a project for him. Joseph meets all my criteria for an awesome client: Understands the value of what I do, has legitimately good stuff to sell and I actually LEARN something by working with him. Certainly a lot more fun than another weasely Bizop site.)

One of Joseph’s core teachings is to learn to live your life utterly without compromise  . . . . to be the “Lion” among the “Elk” and to never apologize for being who you truly are.

Now, to some people the concept of “Living without compromise” can translate to “being an obnoxious dick.” Which really isn’t the point at all.

In fact, my friend had a similar thought. She said “That sounds interesting, but one of my core beliefs is that you don’t have the right to hurt anyone else.”

Here’s how I reframed the concept of “Living without compromise and never apologizing” to fit neatly into her belief structure.

I said . . .

“OK, here’s a way to think about this that I think you’ll find really useful.

Once when I was a teenager, my Mom and I got into a fight.

I don’t really remember what the fight was about (maybe I mouthed off, maybe it was about nothing) but I must have said something pretty dumb because my Mom (who is definitely not a violent person) pulled back her hand and went to slap me across the face.

Now, at this point I’d been taking karate for a while.

I think I was a green belt.

So when her hand came rocketing towards me, I did what came naturally. Without even thinking I put up my arm to block her slap.

Her arm hit mine with a sound like a two Lincoln Logs coming together and my Mom suddenly clutched her arm in pain.

‘You hit me!,’ she sobbed, tears streaming down her face. ‘I can’t believe you hit me!’

And, being a petulant, angry teenager I yelled right back and said ‘I didn’t hit you! I stopped you from hitting me!’

Which is kind of how I feel about Joseph’s concept of living without compromise.

It’s not that you go out and “hit” other people. It’s just that you live your life being fully and powerfully YOU.

You never hurt anyone, but if through their own actions someone else hurts themselves because they can’t accept you for who you really are or because they’re trying to “Hurt” you or force you into a role or box you don’t belong in . . .well, that’s not really your fault at all, is it?”

And my friend who I was telling this story nodded her head because suddenly the whole concept made sense. The cool bit of “Judo” here is that I took her concept of “Being yourself = hurting other people” and turned it on its head or “reframed it.”

Kind of cool, huh?

Personally, I use reframes and storytelling concepts like this all the time both in my personal life (when I’m helping friends get their thinking clear on things . .  .which I do A LOT) and in the marketing I do. (Metaphors, similes and other stories are REALLY powerful stuff, especially in videos.)

Heck, I’ll often use a reframe with timid clients who are afraid to use proven Direct Marketing Methods.

I’ll say . . .

“You sell a quality product, right?”

And they say, “Yes! We sell the best gosh darn dooowizzits in the industry.”

I say, “And you have competitors whose products are NOT as good as yours, right?”

And they say, “YES! The fiends at CRAPCO sell CRAP compared to what we sell.”

I say, “But your competitors at CRAPCO sell a lot of stuff, right?”

and they respond with . . .  ”YES! They do all this Direct Marketing and SELLING stuff to get people to buy from them even though our product is better and is even priced better.”

And then I go in for the kill and say, “OK, so if we know that Direct Marketing WORKS and we know that you have a better product than your competitor, then don’t you think you OWE IT to your customers to sell to them in the most effective way possible? I mean, if CRAPCO is out there using ‘good’ marketing to sell ‘crap’ then don’t you have a RESPONSIBILITY to use the most effective, hard-hitting and powerful marketing available to make sure they buy from YOU instead of from them? In fact, by NOT using direct marketing in your business you’re actually HURTING your prospective customers who really should be buying from you.”

And that’s when they write me a check.

Do you want more of this kind of stuff? Leave me a comment and let me know.

(You can learn more about Joseph and his work at http://www.josephriggio.com)

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