Happy New Years and a Lesson Learned At a Funeral

Hey folks,

First off, happy new years. I hope your 2006 kicked all sorts of ass, and if it didn’t, well, you get to start all over again.

I’m just back to the desk and shaking the cobwebs off my fingers after a wild and whacky holiday East Coast tour. I hit New York City, New Haven Connecticut (which is charming no matter what the crime statistics say) and ended up celebrating Christmas back in Massachusetts.

Oh, and I also got to go to a funeral and learn a little marketing wisdom along the way.

You see, the Friday before Christmas, my great Aunt Loretta died. She was a sweet 95-year-old lady with a distrust of men and an irrational love of her stuffed kitten, “Baby.” And she passed of nothing much more than living too much life for her old body to take.

The funeral was on Tuesday. My mom and I got to the church a little early and while shuffling heel to heel in the lobby I looked up and saw a sign that said “Pro-Life Bulletin Board.”

Now, I don’t want to get political here, but reading through the stuff that people had tacked up on that board taught me something fierce about marketing, and direct response marketing in particular.

Because you see, right there in the middle of that board somebody had tacked up a 4 page fundraising letter for a pro-life cause.

Just think about that for a second. Somebody had gotten a piece of “Junk mail” at their house, had read it, and had been so affected by it that they’d brought it to church with them on Sunday and tacked it up for the world to see.

Why?

Because it was good. Damned good. I read through ever word of that letter and just marveled at the craft. Whoever wrote it was a master. He told a story, used sharp language (the term “Baby killer” popped up several times), asked questions, quoted statistics and–and here’s the key bit–offended the living hell out of me.

And that’s a good thing.

Why?

Because I’m a 29-year old Northwest, yoga-doing, dance-going, church-avoiding liberal.

I’m NOT the market that letter was aimed at. I’m not the market that’s EVER going to send money to this particular cause. And the copywriter who wrote that letter? He knows that. And he also knows this little pearl of wisdom you should add to your daily affirmations: “If you’re not offending someone, you’re doing it wrong.”

When you’re selling something, you’re target market matters, and just about everyone else can go to hell.

Yea, I know, it’s 2007. I know we’re supposed to be PC and inclusive and take great pains not to get anyone’s feathers ruffled.

But when it comes to direct response marketing that’s bull. Your marketing isn’t public service and it isn’t art. It’s sales. Sales that, if you target well enough, the folks you might offend will never even see. But your target? The folks you want to get into the heads and the hearts of? The more sharp and direct and powerful your prose–the more tuned and focused it is to their way of thinking of talking and living–the more they’ll respond.

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Quick Aside: I did find one thing to criticize in that particular letter. It was damned well written, but it read overwhelmingly mail and was “signed” by a woman. I don’t think that will tank the response or anything, but it stuck in my craw a bit.

Oh, and if you’re offended by this blog post (I can’t see why you would be, but it’s amazing what gets people’s gander up) . . . well . . .you know how I feel about that.

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