Sorry, Roger . . . Praying won't make people pay for your website.

Roger Ebert can’t figure out how to make money on the internet . . .

Which to me, seems downright weird . . .

On his (excellent) blog last week Roger posted a loooong and amusing ramble about how “nobody” can figure out how to make money online . . .

(Well, nobody but porn stars, shysters and fundraiser-happy religious kooks anyway . . .)

Personally, I think Roger is one of the sharpest writers and smartest dudes working in pop culture today . .

But when it comes to internet marketing, he’s downright dumb . . .

Here’s why . . .

In info marketing (which is the world I live and play in online and, really, what Roger Ebert does every single day) you’ve got three major pieces of “fuel” that drive your ability to pull in the bucks online . . .

1. Is Traffic . . . getting people to actually show up on your website in the first place and STICK AROUND long enough to consume some of your content, drive the “authority” of your site up and ( you know) maybe even BUY something . . .

2. Is Credibility . . .Do people who show up on your site like and trust you? Do they LISTEN to what you say? Do they think that what you offer to the world is actually valuable in some way? Are they willing to pay for the information that you’ve got to offer?

3. Is Conversion . . . the actual copy and mechanism that gets people to pull out their credit cards, type in that loooong string of numbers and actually give you the cash you’re doing all this for in the first place.

Now, Roger has number 1 in spades . . .

And has a really damned healthy dose of number 2 as well (though maybe not in the way that he thinks) . . .

(In fact, I’m willing to bet that if you asked your average “in the trenches” internet marketer if they could make a boatload of cash with the traffic and credibility that Roger Ebert has (and do so ethically and without pulling any sneaky tricks at all)  . . .well, they’d do backflips of joy and go on a three week product creation bender that could only end armies of dollars marching lockstep into their bank account  . . .)

But Number 3 (Conversion) is Where The Venerable Mr. Ebert is Absolutely Falling Down On The Job . . .

Here’s the full text of Roger’s “pitch” for his “Ebert Club”  . . .

Roger "kind of sort of" wants to invite you to join his club . . . maybe. If you feel like it. No pressure. At all.

Dear Readers:

Most web sites generate less income than they cost to maintain. Mine is no exception. Because I want to preserve free access to the site, I’ve come up with an idea I’d like to run by you. I’m announcing The Ebert Club, which will offer a group of additional attractions and conveniences for members.

Membership in the club will not be expensive. Through March, we’ll have a special introductory rate of $4.99 for a year’s membership. After April 1, the price will shoot up to $5. No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. April 1 is the date I was appointed movie critic of the Sun-Times,
and I plan to live it up.

Your membership benefits will include:

1. The site’s RSS/Newsletter feed, which Includes quick clickable links to all my new reviews and other site content. (Full disclosure: This will also continue to be free).

2. Quick links to my Special Pages for Twitter. These are free-standing web pages I create on the spur of a notion.

3. Quick links to new postings on Roger Ebert’s Journal and Jim Emerson’s Scanners.

4. Selected @ebertchicago, winnowed to improve the signal to noise ratio. All the joys of following my Twitter stream, from the comfort of your inbox.

5. A private discussion thread for Club members. This will resemble one of the comment threads on my Journal, but its URL will be made available to members only.

6. The Web Report: Unexpected and delightful web discoveries. I find links myself. Readers send me amazing pages. As a club member, we will not bother you with anything dumb.

7. Occasional Special Pages for club members only.

8. Advance notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale. The festival sells out early every year. At Ebertfest, I’ll hold a meet-and-greet for club members.

9. You will be helping enormously to support this web site. Well, that’s worth something, isn’t it?

10. We’re open to your suggestions about live chats for Club members only and things like that.

Click on the link below if you’d like to join us.

Thank you,

Roger

Uhhhh . . .

Sorry, Roger . . . paying continuity money (even cheap continuity money on a yearly basis) for vague promises of “additional stuff I find online” or “because it’ll help me keep this site up” ain’t gonna play in Peoria. Just ask NPR . . .they’ve been trying this tactic for years without too much success.

If you want to monetize the considerable amount of traffic, credibility and good will you’ve built up over the last several decades in the American consciousness, you’ve got to offer whopping  amounts of value above and beyond what the masses get for free.

Typically when I’m helping my clients craft offers (or doing it for my own products) I try to create a sense of value that has my customers feeling like they’re RIPPING ME OFF by buying from me  . . .

(Or getting at least 10 times the value out of my products as they’re putting in monetarily.)

Now, my real recommendation to Roger would be to “go to the well” and really think about what kind of “high value” stuff he could offer to his club members that the masses at large don’t get . . . Basically a wholesale rethink on his offer and the structure of his club.

This could mean re-purposing content by creating  audio or video versions of reviews and articles (Obviously, Roger has a challenge on the multimedia front since he lost his voice several years ago, but there’s no reason an assistant or staff member couldn’t do this) . . . writing additional “members only” content that has a high perceived value . .  .offering “writing tips” for aspiring writers, doing a “Ebert University” where he puts together a “curriculum” for aspiring film makers or film critics (though there’s precious little money in film criticism unless you’re . . uhh . . . Roger Ebert) and otherwise finding ways to monetize the vast amount of knowledge Roger has in his head.

But for this blog post let’s just focus on what he’s decided to offer and pick apart the way he’s presented it. As you’ll discover as we go through Roger’s pitch he’s made quite a few mistakes in his writing and the way he talks about his offer that are sure to drive the masses away in droves.

ASIDE: I also think Roger has  made a mistake in the pricing . . . and that he may actually make MORE sales with a higher price point (weird, I know . . . but $4.99 a year just wreaks of “I picked this price out of a hat and don’t really think what I have to offer is very valuable. No good.)

Now, obviously Roger’s doing a very soft sell here . . . he’s basically putting this out to his readership as a way to “maybe, if you want to, if you feel like it, help me out.”

That’s all well and good if you’re trying to “be nice” or don’t like asking for cashola  . . .  but let’s see if we can PUMP UP the selling power of what he’s got without descending too far into the fun and whacky world of hypes ville.

Let’s start with the open . . .

Dear Readers:

Most web sites generate less income than they cost to maintain. Mine is no exception. Because I want to preserve free access to the site, I’ve come up with an idea I’d like to run by you. I’m announcing The Ebert Club, which will offer a group of additional attractions and conveniences for members.

Membership in the club will not be expensive. Through March, we’ll have a special introductory rate of $4.99 for a year’s membership. After April 1, the price will shoot up to $5. No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. April 1 is the date I was appointed movie critic of the Sun-Times,
and I plan to live it up.

Problem #1: Roger’s opening this up with a “hat in the hand” pitch. Not to get too mean here, but this open reads a little whiny and lacks confidence (As any woman will tell you, confidence is sexy.) “My site doesn’t make any money. I need to find a way to make it make money or I’m going to have to make EVERYBODY pay.”

Problem #2: There’s really no implied or obvious benefit listed out in the open. At no point in these two paragraphs does he give any compelling reason why (or “What’s in it for me?”) for his prospective customer to latch onto.

I always say that “Marketing Is The Art Of Making A Promise And Keeping It” . . . but in order to do that you’ve got to make a promise in the first place. What’s the “reason why” folks should be downright excited about joining the Ebert Club? And no “Because you should feel guilty about getting my content for free” isn’t a good reason why.  People get a lot of content for free these days and if you try to guilt them into paying they’ll just go somewhere else.

The Fix . . . Make your open about the big problem that’s causing you to create this club in the first place, the big benefit to the prospect and the ridiculous deal they’re going to get.

Something along the lines of . . . (Have made an effort to keep this relatively “Ebertized” and low hype . . . not 100% happy with it but it shows you what I mean.)

Dear friend,

As a wise man once said “My loss is your gain . . .”

And in this case my (small) loss is going to lead to you gaining a lot . .

Here’s what this is all about . . .

You might not know this, but running a site like this is a stupidly expensive proposition . . .

In fact, in an average month the site loses about ($X) in bandwidth fees, hosting and other miscellaneous costs above and beyond what we pull down in advertising dollars.

While I love doing the site, “Paying to work” seems like a dodgy proposition to me.

So in order to keep my blog and website humming at the high-quality clip you’ve come to expect, I’ve decide to create an exclusive and limited “club” for my best, most loyal and most active readers . . . a way for you to get a higher and better level of access to me, to “see behind the curtain” on what it’s like to be America’s premier film critic and to get access to content that I simply don’t share with anyone else.

I’m calling this new group “The Roger Ebert Club” . . . and while I plan on keeping it quite affordable (for now) I’m also going to keep membership strictly limited to (X) number of people at this introductory rate.

You get the idea. The key here is to focus on what they’re getting (greater access etc.) to build exclusivity and scarcity and to generally make it seem “kind of cool” to be a member of the club. I dig the “April fools” joke from the original but feel like it takes the legs out from under Roger in his pitch. Notice that I took away the “I’m thinking of doing” language as well as the bit about “features and attractions” . . . that’s good “film language” but it doesn’t do much to pull in the fans.

Let’s move on to Roger’s bullets . . .

Your membership benefits will include:

1. The site’s RSS/Newsletter feed, which Includes quick clickable links to all my new reviews and other site content. (Full disclosure: This will also continue to be free).

Big mistake: You always want to open up with your most compelling and most powerful benefits . . . the bits that are going to get people to stand up and take notice. In this case, Roger’s leading with a “feature” that’s already free, that’s going to continue to be free and that really isn’t a piece of the “Ebert Club” at all. Your first bullet or “attraction” as Roger calls it sets the tone for the rest of your pitch . . . I’m willing to bet that a lot of potential converts click off the page after reading this bullet since it’s so weak.

The fix: Delete this bullet entirely. It’s a waste of space and shoots you in the foot before you even get started.

2. Quick links to my Special Pages for Twitter. These are free-standing web pages I create on the spur of a notion.

3. Quick links to new postings on Roger Ebert’s Journal and Jim Emerson’s Scanners.

Big Mistake: In both of these, Roger is focusing 100% on a “feature” (what it “is”) as opposed to a benefit (what it does FOR ME as a reader.)

Personally, I don’t really care about “links” I’ve got plenty of “links” in my life already. Roger’s job in this case is to translate these features into tangible, dimensionalized benefits that I can quickly grasp . . .

Soo . . .

The fix . . .

2. Quick links emailed to your inbox to my special pages for twitter. These are pieces of content and insight that I create “on the fly” during the work day on any number of topics that strike me .  . . as a Ebert Club member, you’ll have access to these content pages pushed directly towards you without having to sort through an endless stream of “noise on Twitter” and without having to take “surfing” time away from your busy day.

3. You’ll also get instant links to new posting on my Roger Ebert’s Journal blog or Jim Emerson’s Scanners. That means you’ll be the first to hear when a new blog post is put up . . . will have “first shot” at commenting on the blog post (and the bragging rights that go with it).

Notice how I use “that means” in the copy above. It’s a pretty simple mechanism but it forces you to actually spell out what’s in it for the customer instead of relying on them to do the math themselves. (They won’t.)

Let’s move on . .

4. Selected @ebertchicago, winnowed to improve the signal to noise ratio. All the joys of following my Twitter stream, from the comfort of your inbox.

Not terrible. Again, I’d pump up the benefit here . . .

4. You’ll get selected and edited “@ebertchicago” twitter messages sent directly to your inbox . . . that means you’ll get just the “good stuff” from my Twitter stream without the typcial noise or “@replies” that can slow down your reading or enjoyment of the content (and that non-members will have to continue to muddle through.)

Notice again, it’s just about spelling out why this is an actual benefit to the reader. Like with a lot of this stuff, I think that what Roger is really offering is too “weak” to build a program around, but if its what he’s going to use, it’s what he’s going to use.

5. A private discussion thread for Club members. This will resemble one of the comment threads on my Journal, but its URL will be made available to members only.

6. The Web Report: Unexpected and delightful web discoveries. I find links myself. Readers send me amazing pages. As a club member, we will not bother you with anything dumb.

7. Occasional Special Pages for club members only.

OK, this is where he starts to actually get to some meat. It’s not great meat, but it’s definitely better than what’s come before.

First off, I’d recommend that Roger lead with these three pieces of content since they’re actually compelling, exclusive and different than what everybody else is already getting for free. “special twitter links” is nice and all, but it’s not going to get me to take my credit card out.

Here’s how I’d rewrite it (and remember, these would be the lead bullets not the stuff we’ve got above.)

Membership Benefit #1: Exclusive Access To the Ebert Club Private Forum . . . As a charter member of the Ebert Club, you’ll have exclusive access to my new Ebert Club private forum. This will be built on the same structure and technology used to power the existing forums, but that’s really where the similarities end. I’ll be personally monitoring Private Forum discussion threads, replying to interesting comments throughout the day and giving a level of personal attention to this forum that I simply can’t do to the “Public” forum on the site. Plus, since it’s a “pay to play” forum the level of discussion and the commitment of the people involved will be worlds higher than the already high standards set on my “regular” forum.

Membership Benefit #2: Roger Ebert’s “Web Report” . . . Every day I receive unexpected and Delightful web discoveries from readers around the world . . . or I just stumble onto amazing stories or resources as I surf the web in search of information or research. As a Ebert Club member, I’ll share the “best of the best” of my web discoveries with you . . . stories that will thrill you, chill you or perhaps even just drive you to a rage. And I promise you here and now that I’ll never (ever) send you anything time wasting or dumb (I’m not your crazy aunt.)

Membership Benefit #3: Special “Members Only” Pages, Content And (Yes) Even Reviews . . . This won’t happen every week, but on a regular basis I’ll be sending Ebert Club members content, pages and even reviews (though typically not of movies) that simply won’t be available to anyone else. What kind of content? Well, how’d you like to read (EXAMPLES OF WHAT KIND OF CONTENT ROGER WOULD BE SENDING AND WHY IT’S AWESOME).

Ahh, see, now I feel like we’re getting somewhere. Finally we’ve got something we can latch on to and create actual benefits out of . . . stuff that’s easily worth $5 a year and possibly worth quite a bit more.

Let’s check out the last few bullets that Roger has . . .

8. Advance notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale. The festival sells out early every year. At Ebertfest, I’ll hold a meet-and-greet for club members.

9. You will be helping enormously to support this web site. Well, that’s worth something, isn’t it?

10. We’re open to your suggestions about live chats for Club members only and things like that.

Hmm. 8 is interesting since it’s a “insider access . . .cut the line” benefit. I’d rewrite it as something like this . . .

Membership Benefit #4:”Member’s Only” Advance Notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale . . . If you’ve tried to attend my Ebertfest film festival in previous years you know that we ALWAYS sell out (often weeks or even MONTHS in advance.) As a “Ebert Club” member, you’ll be able to “cut the line” and  grab your tickets to my highly-rated festival before the rest of the world even knows it’s time to get in line.

I’m going to skip 9 for a second (that feels like it should be a P.S. to me . . . and go right to 10 which I feel like could be pumped up a lot . . .

Membership Benefit #5: You’ll Have “My Ear” About additional content and access throughout the year . . . Have an idea for a “Live chat” where we discuss your favorite movie or genre? Wondering on my thoughts on a pop culture phenomenon? As a Ebert Club Member you’ll essentially have “my ear” and will be able to suggest pieces of content or ways of interacting with me above and beyond what we’ve already talked about here. My goal is to make membership in the Ebert Club a “no-brainer” . . . and letting you tell me what you really want out of this group seems like the best way to make this an easy choice for you to make.

Hmm. Not too bad for a rush job.

That brings us to the close and the PS (which I’m going to create out of his 9th bullet.)

Roger’s current close is an offhand . . .

Click on the link below if you’d like to join us.

Thank you,

Roger

Which is nice and all, but doesn’t exactly light the world on fire.

Here’s what I’d try . . .

“Sounds amazing Roger and I’d love to join, but how much does it cost?”

Good question.

Though I think the real question you should ask yourself is how much is a membership in an exclusive club like this truly worth to you?

What’s it worth to you to have this level of access? To be able to raise the bar of conversation? To be able to really take part in the discussion of what’s going on in film, media and politics today?

Is it worth the cost of a cup of coffee?

For a limited time, I’m offering charter membership in my “Ebert Club” at ridiculously low cost of just $4.99 . . . for a full year.

Honestly, that’s probably (much) to cheap. And I fully expect that I’ll have to raise the price (by a factor of 2, 3 or more) in the near future.

But right now this is an experiment . . . so you’ve got a chance to get in on the “ground floor” much cheaper than everyone else will have to pay in the not distant future.

Oh, and as an added bonus, if you take advantage of this offer before “Date” you’ll also receive a special “Ebert Club Charter Member” badge that will display next to your name in the regual Roger Ebert forums. That will let everyone else know that you’re a member of the club . . . and, frankly, will give you bragging rights no one else can claim.

To join, simply click the link below and enter your credit card information. You’ll be charged just $4.99 for the full year . . .and will begin to experience the benefits immediately.

Thanks for your support, and I look forward to seeing you on the Member’s only forum . . .
Yours,

Roger Ebert

P.S. There is one benefit to membership that I really haven’t mentioned here. It unpopular to talk about “altruism” in America these days, but by joining today you’ll be taking a massive step towards helping me keep this site up and free and running. That shouldn’t be the main reason you join (I firmly believe that if you give me money, you should receive massive value in return) but do know that you’ll have my personal thanks for stepping up and helping me “keep the lights on” on this site . . . In fact, I have several “bonuses” I haven’t discussed here that I plan on sending your way as my thanks.

Ahh. Not bad. Some mystery about the bonuses. Some good price justification that puts the $5 in perspective (toooooo cheap) and even some turbulence that makes them think about how they’ll kick themselves if they have to pay more in the future.

OK, now that we’ve gone this far, let’s put the whole thing together in a form we can actually read . . .

Dear friend,

As a wise man once said “My loss is your gain . . .”

And in this case my (small) loss is going to lead to you gaining a lot . .

Here’s what this is all about . . .

You might not know this, but running a site like this is a stupidly expensive proposition . . .

In fact, in an average month the site loses about ($X) in bandwidth fees, hosting and other miscellaneous costs above and beyond what we pull down in advertising dollars.

While I love doing the site, “Paying to work” seems like a dodgy proposition to me. Besides, my wife doesn’t like it  when I throw money away unless it’s on something that directly benefits her.

So in order to keep my blog and website humming at the high-quality clip you’ve come to expect, I’ve decide to create an exclusive and limited “club” for my best, most loyal and most active readers . . . a way for you to get a higher and better level of access to me, to “see behind the curtain” on what it’s like to be America’s premier film critic and to get access to content that I simply don’t share with anyone else.

I’m calling this new group “The Ebert Club” . . . and while I plan on keeping it quite affordable (for now) I’m also going to keep membership strictly limited to (X) number of people at this introductory rate.

Here’s just a small sample of what you’ll get when you become a Charter Member of the Ebert Club Today . . .

Membership Benefit #1: Exclusive Access To the Ebert Club Private Forum . . . As a charter member of the Ebert Club, you’ll have exclusive access to my new Ebert Club private forum. This will be built on the same structure and technology used to power the existing forums, but that’s really where the similarities end. I’ll be personally monitoring Private Forum discussion threads, replying to interesting comments throughout the day and giving a level of personal attention to this forum that I simply can’t do to the “Public” forum on the site. Plus, since it’s a “pay to play” forum the level of discussion and the commitment of the people involved will be worlds higher than the already high standards set on my “regular” forum.

Membership Benefit #2: Roger Ebert’s “Web Report” . . . Every day I receive unexpected and Delightful web discoveries from readers around the world . . . or I just stumble onto amazing stories or resources as I surf the web in search of information or research. As a Ebert Club member, I’ll share the “best of the best” of my web discoveries with you . . . stories that will thrill you, chill you or perhaps even just drive you to a rage. And I promise you here and now that I’ll never (ever) send you anything time wasting or dumb (I’m not your crazy aunt.)

Membership Benefit #3: Special “Members Only” Pages, Content And (Yes) Even Reviews . . . This won’t happen every week, but on a regular basis I’ll be sending Ebert Club members content, pages and even reviews (though typically not of movies) that simply won’t be available to anyone else. What kind of content? Well, how’d you like to read (EXAMPLES OF WHAT KIND OF CONTENT ROGER WOULD BE SENDING AND WHY IT’S AWESOME).

Membership Benefit #4:”Member’s Only” Advance Notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale . . . If you’ve tried to attend my Ebertfest film festival in previous years you know that we ALWAYS sell out (often weeks or even MONTHS in advance.) As a “Ebert Club” member, you’ll be able to “cut the line” and grab your tickets to my highly-rated festival before the rest of the world even knows it’s time to get in line.

Membership Benefit #5: You’ll Have “My Ear” About additional content and access throughout the year . . . Have an idea for a “Live chat” where we discuss your favorite movie or genre? Wondering on my thoughts on a pop culture phenomenon? As a Ebert Club Member you’ll essentially have “my ear” and will be able to suggest pieces of content or ways of interacting with me above and beyond what we’ve already talked about here. My goal is to make membership in the Ebert Club a “no-brainer” . . . and letting you tell me what you really want out of this group seems like the best way to make this an easy choice for you to make.

Membership Benefit #6: Special “Edited” Versions of my @EbertChicago Twitter Stream and “Pushed To You” Access to new posts on my and Jim Emerson’s Blog . . . You’ll also receive a special “edited” version of my notoriously busy twitter stream . . . with all the noise, chaff and @replies removed so you can get to the “good stuff” right away . . . plus we’ll email you immediately whenever I make a new post on the blog so you can be the first to read the new content . . . and the first to weigh in with your comments or ideas before the masses even have a chance to know something new has gone up.

“Sounds amazing Roger and I’d love to join, but how much does it cost?”

Good question.

Though I think the real question you should ask yourself is how much is a membership in an exclusive club like this truly worth to you?

What’s it worth to you to have this level of access? To be able to raise the bar of conversation? To be able to really take part in the discussion of what’s going on in film, media and politics today?

Is it worth the cost of a cup of coffee?

For a limited time, I’m offering charter membership in my Ebert Club at ridiculously low cost of just $4.99 . . . for a full year.

Honestly, that’s probably (much) too cheap. And I fully expect that I’ll have to raise the price (by a factor of 2, 3 or more) in the near future.

But right now this is an experiment . . . so you’ve got a chance to get in on the “ground floor” much cheaper than everyone else will have to pay in the not distant future.

Oh, and as an added bonus, if you take advantage of this offer before (Date) you’ll also receive a special “Ebert Club Charter Member” badge that will display next to your name in the regular Roger Ebert forums. That will let everyone else know that you’re a member of the club . . . and, frankly, will give you bragging rights no one else can claim.

To join, simply click the link below and enter your credit card information. You’ll be charged just $4.99 for the full year . . . and will begin to experience the benefits immediately.

Thanks for your support, and I look forward to seeing you on the Member’s only forum . . .

Yours,

Roger Ebert

P.S. There is one benefit to membership that I really haven’t mentioned here. It’s unpopular to talk about “altruism” in America these days, but by joining today you’ll be taking a massive step towards helping me keep this site up and free and running. That shouldn’t be the main reason you join (I firmly believe that if you give me money, you should receive massive value from me in return) but do know that you’ll have my personal thanks for stepping up and helping me “keep the lights on” on this site . . . In fact, I have several “bonuses” I haven’t discussed here that I plan on sending your way as my thanks.

And there you have it.

Now, there’s still changes I would make (I’d have a proper headline and subhead . . .I’d probably raise the price  . . . I’d think of other benefits that could be pushed in like discounts to movies, a sponsorship deal with Netflix etc. But you get the idea.)

Comments? Bring em on.

It was "this" big . . .

Whew!

I rolled back into Seattle on Saturday night after a whirlwind (and drama-packed) trip to Stamford, Connecticut to speak at Ryan Lee’s “Continuity Summit” event . . .

This was my first “official” speaking engagement in the IM space (I’ve been a guest and on panels a bunch) and I gotta admit I was a little nervous about it.

Got lots of feedback saying I was the best presenter on Thurs (and one of the best of the weekend) . . .

Here’s some of the exhausting (and awesome) lessons I learned along the way . . .

1. No matter where I am in the country (or the world) no one will EVER be able to say my last name the right way. I recently decided to stop fighting the momentum and let people call me Chris “hah dahd” instead of the Massachusetts inflected (and nasally) “had Dad” (I had a Dad but now I don’t . .. ohhh, Morbid.)

I look artsy.

Ryan managed to go off into some new world of weirdness though by calling me Chris “hay Dad” before going up there. Ry is an East Coast boy so I was shocked. I give up. I’m changing my last name to “Smith.”

2. “Slow” Chris is still REALLY fast for most people. I pulled hard on the mental hand brake to try to keep my rate of speech at a level the crowd would be able to understand and my RAMPANT ADHD under control . . . but I was still burning through the content and rocketing through the funny (and inappropriate) at every turn. My buddy (and minion for the weekend) Mason told me he had lots of folks commenting on my SUPER SPEED deliver style even though he knew I was downright SEDATE up there. (I forgot to do it, but originally I was going to select someone from the audience and ask them to be my “speedometer” . .  .charged with waving their hands in the air any time I went too fast. Gotta include that next time.)

3. I opened up my talk asking the audience how many of them just LOVED writing copy . . . and a whole bunch of people raised their hands . . . In retrospect, I think most of them were lying. Or at least lying to themselves. They might like WRITING or creating “content” but I don’t think the bulk of the audience really understood how DEEP you have to go to create compelling copy . . . or how much “blood on the page” you end up leaving in your wake.

4. No matter how AWESOME you are, SOMEBODY is going to fall asleep during your presentation. Front row. Right side of the stage. Grey haired woman in glasses. I SEE YOU! (I actually cornered her later in the event and got a sheepish apology. Not really necessary . . . I mean, sheesh . . . I’ve completely ignored a TON of great presentations over the years. It’s just funny looking down while you’re dishing out the gold and seeing someone taking a siesta. Her neck must have been KILLING her when she woke up.)

5. BRING SOMETHING TO SELL . . . OUCH! At the end of the presentation I mentioned (in an offhand way) that I MIGHT put together some kind of program to teach more of my “Copy Thinking” stuff . . . and literally had people RUNNING across the room to give Mason their cards . . . Seems like a no-brainer but having a “box of stuff” to give people would have been a REALLY good idea . . .

6. I didn’t think it was possible, but you can yell “Sorry About Your Penis” at the top of your lungs in front of 400 people and not get one SINGLE complaint. (You had to be there.)

Live "Copy talking" on stage . . . turn off brain, open mouth, get applause.

7. Adrenaline is the absolute BEST cure for the common cold (and fever . . . and watery eyes. And general achy horribleness.) I was sick as a dog up there, but nobody noticed. Next time I get on stage I’m going healthy . . . and I’m not taking prisoners.

“Sounds Like Fun, Chris, But What Did You Teach Anyway?”

Good question! (You’re so smart!)

My presentation was on “Copy Thinking”  . . . and was about how to get the “Copywriting Mindset” and the ability to “think like a copywriter” even if you HATE writing and have nightmares about sharp 12 inch rulers and angry 5th grade teachers.

The first half of the presentation covered how to transform features into benefits almost automatically . . . the “emotional” secret of selling . . . how to use built in human “racism” to ethically increase your sales (seriously) . . . and my fun and profitable “Mind Bending Bullets” concept . . .

The second half was  all about SPEED . . . I’m probably the fastest copywriter working today (uhh . . . ADHD is fun) so I gave away a bunch of the tips and tricks I use to crank out the high-converting sales messaging and launch copy in shockingly little time.

And the third half (I’m bad at math) had me doing my “Copy Talking” monkey trick . . . Near the end of my presentation, Ryan hopped on stage, gave me a peanut and had me do a live “tear down” of a “Wedding Fitness” site . . . fun stuff . . . and I think the crowd was pretty shocked that I could just get the “word spew” going like that.

Anyway . . . Had a fun adventure on the way home with my luggage MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARING between Stamford and Detroit . . .

Rather than freaking out, I got eerily calm and nice, practiced non-attachment and wondered at the adventures my stuff might be going on. Somehow my bag trudged its way to Seattle all on its own and showed up on the luggage carousel in Seattle. No one can tell me how. WEIRD.

Got some really good feedback after getting off stage . . .which is good since I’m running a slight fever and have been coughing all day. =-)

If you were in the audience at the seminar and are just popping onto the blog for the first time, make sure you say “Hi” in the comments.

In fact, in the next month I’m flying to Miami for a closed door internet marketing event with a bunch of big muckity mucks, am dashing off to Conneticut to speak at Ryan Lee’s “Continuity Summit” and am spending a few days in DC for Yanik Silver’s Underground.

And while I’m sure there will be a bunch of great content at these seminars, the real reason I’m wracking up the miles is for the networking.

As a mentor of mine told me early on in my career “The real business gets done at the bar.”

My friend Martin Howey just put up a post talking about one of the profound re-connections he made at Jeff Walker’s PLM event a few weeks back.

If you’re wondering what going to seminars can do for you and your business, I’d give it a read:

http://www.sevenfigureconsultants.com/?p=769

(Martin also gives me a nice little shout out in the post. Thanks for that, Martin. Always enjoy your company.)

Let me be your Cyrano. (I really wanted to put a pic of Steve Martin from "Roxanne" but couldn't find a good one.

(Update: Check out the comments from this post for the love notes I wrote and responses.)

OK, THIS should be fun (and more than a little scary.)

As a special “Valentine’s Day Gift” I’m doing something WEIRD . . .

In fact, I’m giving  you the chance to have Chris “Mr. Moneyfingers” Haddad himself (that’s me!) “be your virtual Cyrano.”

What’s that mean?

It means that if you’re fast and lucky and smart and brave you can get ME to ghost-write a love note/poem/rap song/short play/video whatever I really feel like in your stead . . .

Basically you get to put my LOVE FINGERS into action on your behalf . . .

Here’s all you have to do to enter:

1. Put a comment under this post telling me:

• The name of your Valentine/wanna be Valentine. (Pet names or nicknames are also acceptable.)
• Your relationship with them (Lover/Spouse/SO/NSO/Stalker)
• 3 Things you ADORE about them.
• 1 Thing about them that kind of drives you NUTS (your interpretation).
• The place you first met.
• The basic idea of what you REALLY want to say to them on Valentine’s day. (Don’t work too hard. Let the pro writer do the heavy lifting.)
• The RESULT you’re looking for on Valentine’s day. I’m a marketer, dammit. What’s my conversion metric?

2. PROMISE that WHATEVER I write for you you will actually GIVE to your Valentine. You can email it to them, print it up and deliver it or even copy the whole thing out by hand. But you can’t change a word.

3. PROMISE to report back to the Moneyfingersinc.com readership on what kind of reaction you get.

4. PROMISE to let me SHARE what we come up with right here on the Moneyfingersinc.com blog, probably in about a week or so after the Valentine’s hooplah has died down. If you’d like we can “anonymize” the whole thing before it goes up. But it’s more fun if we don’t.

Got it?

Great.

This is an awesome opportunity, but you’ve got to be FAST . . .

Valentine’s day is only a couple days away. I’m going to be selecting the “winners” tomorrow (probably 3 but maybe 5) morning and holing up in a coffee shop in the AM in order to crank these suckers out so you can have them ready for my favorite corporate holiday.

Happy VD =-0

P.S. What qualifies me to do this? I’m a high fallutin professional copywriter, dammit. Plus I’m renowned the world over for my sense of WEIRD romance, ability to make women quiver with a text message alone and general badassery.

You don’t get this kind of shiz for FREE very often.

P.P.S. My own Valentine is in CANADA right now so I gotta get my romance jollies off somehow.

What is my purpose? The Last Thing I Want To Do Is Hurt People

This is Part 3 in my “I Quit” Series of Blog Posts. You can find the previous two entries (”I Quit, Part 1″ and “Death of the Infoslut” by clicking here.

In my last post (the tantalizingly named “Death of The Info Slut”) I laid out the drastic steps I’ve been taking to cut down my nasty addiction to useless information (did you know Cher had $145,000.00 in plastic surgery? I DID. How messed up is that?)

Now that I’ve (mostly) got my crazy info addiction and “chicken with no head” tendencies under control, it’s time to really focus on what I want to be doing, who I want to be doing it with and what I ultimately want to be known for.

I started thinking about this concept of “Significance” and “Purpose” a lot late last year. I even had long conversations about it with friends and mentors like Ray Edwards, Jeff Walker, Robert Murgatroyd (who I once famously SAVAGED in a video on this blog) and others.

Ultimately I ended up doing two major assignments that helped me get a LOT of clarity on who I “AM” and what I want to “BE.” Whenever I feel like myself getting tempted by big dollar signs or unfulfilling projects I come back to these assignments and ask myself “Am I heading towards or away from my goals?”

Assignment One: “Describe Your Perfect Day”

The first assignment was from Murgatroyd (GOD, I love that name) and was really simple.

I asked Rob to help me “Design my life” and he said:

Write out what your perfect day would look like. A day that you could live over and over again.

Dig deep. Start with the part that’s after you slept with the entire Swedish volley ball team.”

Here’s what I sent him back:

I wake up around 7 next to my lover.

I let her sleep a bit longer and marvel at the wide, satisfied smile on her face. I gaze out the window at a breathtaking view of the cascades and think “what do I want to do today?”

And I laugh a little because that really is the only question. I don’t HAVE TO do anything. There are no phone calls on my calendar, there are no meetings I need to go to, there are no errands to run. If I wanted to I could “opt out” of the whole day, lay in bed and make love.

But I get out of bed anyway and pad my way barefoot to share in a visceral, sweaty yoga class with friends and my favorite teacher. After yoga I have a healthy breakfast (prepared by someone else) and, if I feel like it, hop on the computer to do some focused thinking and work.

The projects I’m working on are fantastically fulfilling personally. I’m doing work that I find interesting, that challenges me and that also puts my greatest gifts and genius to their best use. I don’t have to do ANYTHING I don’t want to do in my work. I brainstorm, come up with strategy, do some writing and then send everything off to be handled by other people who do the actual implementation.

The afternoon is free and open for personal interests. I can spend it reading a book, studying hypnosis and persuasion methods, taking a class, getting certified as a yoga teacher or whatever else really pulls me. I’m able to follow my bliss without worry about chasing down clients or work. I know that every moment of effort I put into my business will pay me back 100 fold.

In the late afternoon my girl and I get back together. She’s in a great mood because she’s living a life similar to mine. No “Job” . . .no “Boss” . . .  and even better, no sense of jealousy or feeling that we should be doing more.

In the evening I catch up with friends. Maybe play some music. Dance or do something else that fills the soul. Late at night my girl and I cuddle up. We make sweet, passionate and maybe even a little angry love.

And then we fall asleep blissful feeling how SLOOOW time can be when you do it right. There are no “Whiny” people in my life. I know that everything I do has a positive impact on those around me. I am jealous of no one.”

Writing is fun.

Assignment 2: What’s Your “Definite Major Purpose?”

My second assignment was something I picked up from my buddy Jason Van Orden.

If you don’t know Jason, you should. He’s an astonishingly nice guy, a heck of a guitar player and one of the more focused and legitimately HAPPY people I’ve ever met.

Jason, along with his partner Sterling, runs the excellent “Internet Business Mastery” podcast.

If you go to the “IBM” website you can download a pretty damn spiffy “Lifestyle Design Worksheet” that Jay and Sterling put together.

Step 1 on the LDW is to figure out your “Major Definite Purpose.”

Here’s a brief description (from the worksheet) of what your “Definite Major Purpose” is:

Honestly this is the most important thing you can figure out, not only for business, but for your personal life. Allof your decisions will be very simple once you know what your Definite Major Purpose is. Here are some questions to help you design your DMP.

* Why am I here?

* What is the top purpose for my life?

* What fulfills me above all other things?

Chris’s DMP

Freedom

• Freedom to live a life without compromise. (Money makes this possible.)
• Freedom to say “No” to projects quickly and with no regrets.
• Freedom from jealousy, financial and otherwise. I am doing what I should be doing irregardless of what others do or how much they make.
• Freedom to only work on projects that I find personally fulfilling.
• Freedom to live 100% as my genuine self with no regard for what other people might think of me, what might “Get out” or fear of “repercussions.”
• Freedom to make my own schedule.

Fulfillment/Significance

• Constantly learning new and interesting things.
• Teaching and inspiring others both formally and through my actions.
• Living a life of integrity (according to my own definition.)
• Being a prolific creator who spends as much time as possible in my “Zone of Genius.”
• Creating as much pleasure and removing as much pain from those around me as possible (Unless they’re assholes, then they get what they deserve.)
• Surround myself with passionate, fulfilled people who push me to greater heights.
• Fill my days with a variety of people in experiences. Never be “Bored.”

Inspiration

• I inspire people around me to be the best they can be.
• People in my personal life look to me for advice and inspiration and I give it freely.

Recognition

• To most I’m a stranger, to those who matter I’m a star.
• Be known and respected in whatever field I decide to excel in.

If you get the chance, I highly recommend you go through both of these exercises. They’re eye opening.

(Tangentially: following the principles from these two exercises has led me to turn down quite a few projects, jobs and “opportunities” over the last few weeks. There’s a lot of power in saying “No.”)

If you’ve read my “Death of the Info Slut” article (and according to my blog stats a lot of you have) then you know I’m doing some major changes to the way I structure my day and live my life.

My good friend Kim says that I’m “Living with a startling amount of intention.”

Currently I’m working on a new “Mantra” . . . something I can mumble to myself or speak clearly in my mind anytime I feel overwhelmed, like I need to rush or otherwise stressed. (I hate that feeling.)

Here are the options. Tell me which one you like best and why:

1. “There are plenty of hours in the day.”

Pretty straightforward. Nice counterpoint to the standard “there aren’t enough hours in the day” bit.

2. “There are more than enough hours in the day.”

My gut tells me this might be the better option. It’s a more literal reaction to the “Not enough” line and somehow feels more “abundant” and “calm” than the “plenty” line.

3. There are too manyhours in the day.
Heh. Probably not. But it sounds pretty amazing to have that problem.

4-6. Basically the same as 1-3 but append “(To do what’s important)” on the end.

So “There are plenty of hours in the day (to do what’s important.),” “There are more than enough hours in the day (to do what’s important)” and (strangely) “There are too many hours in the day (to do what’s important.)”

There’s a certain strange brilliance to that last one, but I don’t think it’s what I’m going for.

OK, this is “Meta” . . .

I put this video together for the “PLM” section of my site.

See, ever since I hung out my shingle as a “Product Launch Manager” I’ve been getting a LOT of inquiries/quote requests/marriage proposals.

So I put this video together to “Turn down the flow” a bit and keep folks that I just can’t take the time to work with from getting in touch with me in the first place.

There’s a few “mumbles” in the vid, but overall it’s a good example of how you can use Keynote and a cheap mic to put something relatively “pro” together really quickly.

In fact, the techniques I use here are a large part of what Andy Jenkins is talking about in his “Video Boss” launch.

You can find the “real” version of this video on the PLM section of this site. Enjoy.

I'm too lazy to edit this. But just pretend it says "Info Slut."

This is part 2 in my “I Quit” series of blog posts. You can see the first post here. In today’s post I go into my RIDICULOUS addiction to information and how I’ve started putting systems into place to deal with it.

My name is Chris Haddad and I’m an info addict . . .

Actually, that’s wrong. I’m not an info “addict.” I’m an info SLUT . . .

Ask my friends, (ex) girlfriends, family members, enemies and even some of my clients and they’ll tell you that I’ll give my attention away to ANYTHING . . .

Latest news about Brad and Angelina and how they’re relationship is being SHATTERED by Brad’s secret affair with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston?

I’m in.

80 page Wikpedia entries on the development, translation and ratings of the classic 1980’s cartoon series “The Smurfs?”

Oh, please, more.

“Stereo-instruction-exciting” pamphlets about prostate health?

SURE!

Issues of Cosmo, out of date public health warnings, half-burned magazines, political dribble . . .

I’ll take it!!

Really, whatever you got . . .whatever was within arm’s reach I’d DEVOUR it like a horny 14 year old who finally found his Dad’s “secret stash” of Playboy issues . . . .

Heck, I’d read it IN PUBLIC, while surrounded by friends, while at the movies, while playing board games, while riding on a roller coaster, while on a (inevitably bad) date . . .

It was bad . . .

And you know what? I don’t think it’s overstating it to say that my info-sluthood cost me A LOT . . .

It cost me relationships . . . took piles of money out of my pocket . . . kept me from personal achievements and goals . . . and ripped away a LOT of my time . . .

A LOT . . .

It got so bad that my ex used to take my iPhone away from me before we’d go to a party . . .

Where good friends would MOCK ME MERCILESSLY every time they saw me going off into “Haddad Land” . . .

And where I felt downright ASHAMED of my behavior . . . and powerless in the face of my sluthood.

So when I decided a week ago to “quit my job” . . . and to (in line with my re-reading of Tim Ferris’ “Four Hour Work Week”) DRASTICALLY reduce my info intake, I knew I was going to have a hard time of it . . .

I knew I was going to have WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS . . .

That I was going to be TEMPTED by the vicious bitch of info overload . . .

And that I was going to have to put SYSTEMS in place to keep me honest

Now, as I’m writing this I’m about 10 days into my “reform” . . .

My attempts to become a “Born Again Info Virgin.”

And you know what? So far it’s going pretty well.

Right now I have NO IDEA what’s going on with Brad and Angie (don’t tell me.)

I haven’t a CLUE what’s happening in the world of Pro Wrestling (that’s a weird one. I haven’t actually WATCHED professional wrestling in about a decade, but somehow got into the habit of keeping up with the backstage news EVERY DAY.)

And, honestly, I don’t really know what’s going on in national or local politics either. For the first time in YEARS my brain feels more or less “empty” and it’s GREAT.

So how’d I come this far in such a short amount of time?

Great question. Let me lay out how I “Killed” (or at least severely crippled) my inner info slut in record time.

Step 1: Admit You Have A Problem

OK, this sounds pretty basic, but it’s important. Step one was just admitting (to myself and to others) that I’ve got a BIG problem.

And I’ll admit it right here. For me, information is a “drug.” I get “high” by “knowing stuff” or even just by reading stuff.

That I’m POWERLESS in the face of random pieces of news. Once I admitted that and stopped feeling like I should just be able to “ignore this stuff” it got a lot easier.

Step 2: The Chemical Route

I don’t want to go too deep into this topic here, but a big part of my info slut “reform” was going to a doctor and using chemicals to “turn down the noise” in my

Makes a point . . . but for me the drugs really do work.

brain. As I write this I’ve been on 60 mg of Straterra for about 2 months now with pretty staggering results.

As I told my friends “Wow, this is what it’s like to only have one song in your head at a time.”

Going on ADHD drugs did a lot to “slow down” my brain and keep me from being utterly bored all the time. But ultimately it only got me halfway there. After years and years of “overloading” my brain on a daily basis in order to avoid having to actually DO something I had some pretty damned ingrained HABITS that needed to be addressed.

Step 3: Buy A Watch

This one sounds weird, but one of the biggest steps I took to help me get over my “info-sluthood” was to buy a watch.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t owned a watch in YEARS (since I first got a cell phone.)

I bought a cool leather-cuff watch from Fossil about a month ago for 3 main reasons . . .

1. It let’s me leave my iPhone at home or at the office and still know what time it is. (Seriously.)

2. Even when I have my phone with me, I can find out what time it is without looking at my phone. When my phone was my only way of telling what time it was, it gave me an easy excuse to “go down the rabbit hole.” I’d check the time and “just quickly check my email,” log on to some kind of news site or find some other way to feed my hungry mind.

With the watch I can leave my phone buried in my pocket or in my bag . . . out of sight, out of mind.

3. The “Feeling” of the watch on my wrist is a constant reminder to “be good.”
This is more of a “subtle” thing, but having the watch on my wrist is a lot like tying a piece of string around my finger. It gives me a subtle, tactical reminder not to give in to my “Sluthood.” Not enough to do the job by itself, but a nice piece of the holistic pie.

Step 4: Don’t Put Coke In Front of A Coke Addict

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been slowly going through Tim Ferris’ “The Four Hour Work Week” again. And this time around I’ve been trying something “weird” . . . I’ve been actually doing what the book says.

A big section of “4HWW” has to do with REDUCING your info intake (drastically) so you can focus like a laser on being a prolific creator and getting in and out of “work mode” as quickly as possible.

Now personally, I’m a very STUBBORN guy, but I don’t have a lot of willpower.  I’m kind of a boundary-ignoring hedonist. If you put 13 cupcakes in front of me I’ll eat all 13 and then lick the napkins.

And if I’ve got CONSTANT, EASY access to information I’m going to consume all that too. (Just ask my friends.)

So what I decided to do was “NERF” my laptop and my (precious, precious) iPhone . . . I needed to make it easier NOT to consume massive amounts of “junk food for the brain” than it is to do so.

Nerfing The Laptop

Rescuetime is an awesome piece of free software that tracks your productivity.

1. Make productivity “a game.”

The first thing I did (per Tim’s recommendation) was download and install Rescuetime on my mac. (http://www.rescuetime.comt)

Rescuetime is a nifty little piece of software that tracks HOW you use your computer (and your web browser) and gives you graphs and stats on how much time you’re spending in each piece of software and on what kind of website.

(I’m ashamed to say that my Facebook, gossip site and IM time was MASSIVE when I first started.)

If you’re in the marketing world (on any world) you should know that “What’s measured improves.” The “guilt” of knowing that every second I spent chatting with a friend about “how dumb Marvel comics are these days” was going to end up on my weekly report put a major fire under my butt to actually pay attention and be productive.

This is what Leechblock does to sites you set it to block. I see this screen a lot.

2. Kill My Web browser

OK, this one was hard. I knew from “watching myself work” that I would typically spend at least half of my “productive” hours “checking just one more website” and shoveling crap into my brain.

In 4HWW Tim recommends a Firefox plugin called Leechblock . . .

This is a really nifty piece of software that can be used to either totally block or selectively control access to certain websites.

I immediately went into Leechblock and set it to TOTALLY block my biggest “Sin” sites . . . sites like (I’m ashamed to say) Perez Hilton, What Would Tyler Durden Do, Pro Wrestling Torch and a few others.

These were sites that were total “junk” for me, that added no actual joy or value to my life and that were just sapping away my precious time, energy and attention.

I also set Leechblock to enforce strict time limits on other sites. Currently I’ve got it to allow me 15 minutes of Facebook time every 24 hours. (Strangely, that can feel like a LOT of time if you just log in for a second or two to chat) and put similar rules up for things like Gmail, Google news, certain online comics I like to read etc.

Originally I was looking for a way to similarly nerf Safari (since having one nerfed browser and one “open” browser wasn’t going to work . . . I’d just end up browsing in the open browser and “cheating” on my info diet..)

I found a way to block sites in Safari by going into terminal and editing the “hosts” file on my computer, but ultimately it didn’t give me the flexibility I wanted so I ended up just deleting Safari off my machine entirely. Not good for checking how web sites work in different browsers but great for actually getting stuff done.

3. Set up Autoresponders to say I’m only checking work email twice per day (and actually STICK to it.)

Email is the bane of my existence. Like a rat in a cage I keep hitting that damn button and waiting for a food pellet to plop down into my lap. Especially when I’m out in the world with my iPhone.

Unfortunately, more often than not checking my email makes me MISERABLE.

It’s pretty rare that really GOOD news comes out of email, and the number of people writing me with “emergencies” or with news that I couldn’t (or shouldn’t) act on right away but that would bug me anyway was ridiculous.

So, per the 4HWW again, I set up my two main work email accounts to send out an AR saying I’d only check messages twice a day (usually at Noon and 4PM) and made a resolution to actually stick to it.

And you know what? So far, so good. By making myself not check my work email before noon everyday I find that my morning hours are ridiculously productive. In fact, I’ve managed to “Finally get to” several products and sales videos I’ve been meaning to write for MONTHS.

This little icon sits on my Dock and gives me magical powers of internet homicide.

4. Discover “Freedom.”

This is the biggest thing that’s contributed to my radical increase in productivity over the last couple weeks.

In “4HWW” Tim recommends a tiny (and free) program called “Freedom.” Freedom was developed by a grad student as a way to give you back your “freedom” from the tyranny of email and web browsing.

“Freedom” does just one thing (and does it really, really well.

Click the icon in your dock and Freedom brings up a dialogue box asking you how many minutes of “Freedom” you want (up to 480 minutes / 8 hours.) Once you hit “OK” and enter your password you’re officially locked out of access to the internet. No email, no web browsing, no chatting, no nothing.

I find it kind of funny that I’m in love with a piece of software that STOPS me from doing something, but have been amazed at how much calmer I feel as soon as I start the software up.

Suddenly all that mental “pressure” fades away and I can let myself actually focus on high-value, high-income projects without wondering about email, chat or crappy celebrity news. Highly recommended.

OK, my iPhone isn't "dead" but it is crippled. Gleefully so.

DIE iPHONE DIE

I remember a couple years ago I dropped my old iPhone in soup. At the time I thought it was both hilarious and tragic . . . but mostly hilarious.

For the next couple months I was iPhone-free, forced to use a crappy “single function” backup phone that didn’t do anything but phone calls.

It was great, but when the iPhone 3G came out, I caved and picked one up.

When I decided to “De-slut” myself I knew I had to figure out a way to Nerf my phone too. It’s just too easy with the iPhone to spend hours digging around Wikipedia, spin myself in circles waiting for email or otherwise find ways to “disengage” from the world. And even after getting on the ADHD drugs (which helped a LOT) I’d still find myself getting bored and going off into info land every chance I goh.

My current iPhone usage is far from perfect (I’m addicted to this block moving game) but I’ve managed to radically reduce the amount of time I spend on the thing.

Here’s how:

1. Remove Web Surfing From The iPhone

Originally I just wanted to find a way to block selected websites on my iPhone. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem like a possibility so I had to get more drastic and completely remove my access to my iPhone’s web browser.

Doing so was easy (though I needed a buddy to make it happen.)

Go to Settings>General>Restrictions

You’ll see a list of programs and settings you can “Restrict” on the iPhone. I think originally this was cerated so parents could keep their kids from accessing porn and Republican talking points on the phone . . . but it works well for “addicts and sluts” like me too.

I set Safari to be “restricted” on my iPhone and then had my office mate Tim enter a “secret code” to keep the damn thing locked out.

Tim then entered the “secret code” into a doc on my laptop and tucked it away in the annals of my laptop.

This way the only way for me to “Unrestrict” my web browser is to find that document on my laptop (I think I remember what folder it’s in) and enter the restriction code. (Or to completely reformat my iPhone.)

But Chris, doesn’t that completely ruin the use of your iPhone?

Eh. A little. I can still do maps and GPS on the phone, text, make phone calls and use apps. The apps are actually dangerous since it’s easy to get apps that let you on wikipedia and the like. I’d probably give myself a 70/100 for actually sticking to the program on this, but I’m definitely less of a “phone addict” than I was before.

2. Cut down access to email.

Finally I removed my moneyfingersinc.com and haddadink.com from my iPhone completely. If I’m going to cut my work email access down to just twice a day (or once a day more often then not) then there’s no reason to be hitting the mail button every 5 minutes on my phone.

Now I still DO check my personal Gmail account on my phone (and I do so too much.)

Ideally I’d like to remove the Mail program from my iPhone entirely, but I can’t find any way to do that without Jailbreaking the phone. Suckage. If you have suggestions on that, let me know.

The Results

So there you go. Am I a “born again info virgin” yet?

Eh. Probably not. I get “weak” at times and start surfing through endgadget or Joystiq, but overall I’m doing MUCH better than I was before.

My brain feels “freer” than it has in a looong time, I’m able to focus more on work projects (and on the awesome people in front of me) and I find my moods to be a bit more stable . . .less prone to spiraling off in different directions every time I read a piece of noise.

I hate to say it, but so far ignorance really is bliss.

Now, there is a counterargument that as a “upstanding citizen” of this fine country I should be interested and informed about what’s going on in local and national politics and at what kind of news items are flying across the public consciousness. But I’m not buying it. The really important stuff is still going to get to me. And I know a lot of really intelligent, info-overloaded people who can fill me in at a moment’s notice.

Not too long ago folks had to wait DAYS or even WEEKS to find out what was going on around the world. And they did just fine.

And I’m becoming “Addicted” to the amount of writing, thinking and CREATION I can do now that the “pipes” of my big powerful mind aren’t all clogged up with crap.d.

I’ll keep you in the know on how it goes. And if you want to join me, leave a comment below.

Hey folks,

I’m in the middle of testing a Video Sales letter versus the more traditional long copy sales letter for one of my niche sites. My gut is telling me that the video version is going to kick the long copy version’s ass.

Anyway, here’s my “rough cut” after a couple hours work on thursday afternoon.

Couple notes:

* This came out a bit longer than I was expecting. I don’t think it being a half hour long is a total dealbreaker since there’s good content in there, but I’ll most likely try to do a shorter version as soon as I get the chance and run a split test.

* When I do do the shorter version I’ll most likely cut down the description of what’s in the bonuses, cut or move the “stop freaking out” slide and go through my notes to find places I can slice out content during the 7 deadly sins section.

* I also am going to think about how to position the 7 Deadly sins better, possibly putting more juice on the idea that you WILL commit these sins if you don’t have this product.

* Originally I was planning on “reading” a bunch of notes I’d typed up as I went through the letter. By my third time stopping and starting the VO though it became apparent that just doing some prep work and “knowing what I wanted to say” before getting to the slides was a better option.

* Yes, I talk really fast. Wanted to have a nice mix of energy and clarity in this vid. Definitely have the energy but there are places where I swallow my words too much. Then again, perfect is the enemy of good. That’s for v 2.