So I was talking to my Mom today and mentioned my most recent newsletter. While I was on the phone I figured I do a little fact checking.
Here’s what I found out:
* I was 5 when my cousin lost her finger, not 10.
* It was summer, not winter.
* My Aunt Shirley and her kids were there too, visiting from Florida.
* Michelle and I were standing on a sand bucket, not a chair.
* Michelle cut her finger on a big pane of glass that we had that was supposed to fit the table in the basement, not a rotary saw blade. When I told my mom I thought it was a rotary saw blade, she guffawed and said “why the heck would your father have a rotary saw blade?”
* Michelle lost the tip of her pinky finger, not her index.
* Nobody knew she’d lost a fingertip, they just thought she’d cut herself. My Dad just stumbled onto the fingertip. He ran upstairs with it and said “Oh my god! I have a fingertip.” Luckily our neighbor the nurse had come over when she heard the screams. She put the tip on ice and sent my dad packing to the hospital.
So, yea, I missed a few bits. But I got the *essence!* =-)
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I don’t go to the movies much anymore. I mean, the whole experience is kind of horrifying. Uncomfortable seats (especially for a half-crippled word warrior like myself), seemingly-hours of crappy advertising, loud people, crying kids . . .it’s really just not something I, you know, enjoy.
But every once in a while I pop down to the multiplex for that big screen experience. And whenever I do I’m always struck by the little signs they’ve got out front by the door.
They say “Unfortunately no outside food or beverage will be allowed in the theater.”
And I always have to think to myself “Unfortunately for who?”
Because it sure as hell isn’t unfortunate for the theater. By “not allowing” outside food and beverages they get to charge me downright abusive prices for my big old bag of Peanut M&M’s.
So really, it’s just unfortunate for you and me, the movie going public.
And really the theatre is trying to use false sympathy to make me feel better about the fact that they’re trying to suck as much cash as possible out of my pocket.
Now, I’m not against people making a play for my money. Heck, I work in marketing. I manipulate people for a living. But act bugs the hell out of me. The falseness bugs the hell out of me. The “oh, aren’t we clever” tone bugs the hell out of me.
Here’s my rewrite:
“We need your money. Leave your ho hos at the door.”
I’d love to see how it tests.
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It can be tough putting words in people’s mouths for a living, but sometimes it all seems worth it. Like this morning when I got feedback on some copy for a client. It said:
Damn Chris… this is f*cking great! Let me look at it again when I am not zombie tired but you definitely got what I am talking about!!!
Which is definitely going in the testimonials section.
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Hey folks,
I just want to take a moment to raise a glass to the greatest marketer I’ve ever had the honor to know. Kenneth G. Haddad was an absolute sales machine. As a manufacturer’s rep in Worcester, MA, he won more awards than they had names for, pulled down big piles of cash and charmed the heck out of everyone he met. He wore a suit every day, had no upper lip to speak of (hence his trademark mustache) and would tell anyone who asked that he was actually an alien and that he was just waiting for the day that the spaceship would show up to take him back to his home planet.
Ken died 10 years ago. He was my Dad. And I wish like hell he were still here showing me what marketing and salesmanship were really about.
So big ups, Mr. Haddad. You’re missed.
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“There are two reasons a man buys anything: the reason he tells his wife . . . and the real reason.”
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Apple just changed everything. If you’re a marketer with even a passing interest in podcasting, I hope you’re paying attention today.
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A friend of mine got me Hog Bay Software’s Writeroom for my birthday and I really haven’t been able to stop raving about it since. WriteRoom is software done simple with no bells, no whistles and a super-clean old school interface that turns your high-fallutin computer into a low-fallutin early 90’s word processor.
For the easily distracted, this thing is a godsend, banishing all the flashing bebobs of email and chat to the aether so you can get down to work.
Version 2.0 was just released as shareware. At first I thought the new version was going to descend into bloat, but after having played with it for a couple hours now, I have to say the features they added in are worth the upgrade.
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Hey folks,
I’m dashing off to the East Coast for a whacky week of family fun. See you in the New Year.
c
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Hey guys,
So my blog is going to be down for a bit as I transfer hosts on my website and get to work launching the all new, all different Haddadink.com.
Just an FYI.
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Tuesday night the cast and crew of Cherub packed into Capitol Hill Art Center’s Lower Level to screen our brand spanking new DVD. It’s a beauty, has a ton of extra features and lets you watch the adventures of everyone’s favorite alcoholic vampire on the screen and in the place of your choice.
So check it out. It doesn’t bite. (Hardeehar.)
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