Here’s a quick rundown of what’s been going on in Haddonia since the last time I revved up the old blog:

1. I spoke at Jeff Walker’s PLF 3.0 event. I got on stage with mutton chops and pink toe nails (Jeff Johnson will never let me live that one down) and delivered a “Launch Offers That Crush” presentation that many said was the best thing delivered all weekend.

Not sure if that’s TRUE or not, but it was a damn good presentation. =-)

2. Been cranking away on my “Text Your Wife Into Bed” business. Opt in list is currently built up to about 9,000 people, we’ve hit over 1,000 paid customers and are seeing some great momentum as we head into 2011. That’s going to be a major focus of mine in the new year and I’m excited to see that business build.

3. I created my “Video Sales Letter Workshop” course with Lou Dalo. as I write this we’ve got ONE DAY left in the course and I really couldn’t be prouder of the students we brought on. Out of 80 students a whopping 20 have actually COMPLETED their video sales letters. If you know anything about info marketing you know that’s an AMAZING number. Lou and I will be rolling out this course again in the new year (a MAJOR JV partner has committed to do something with us in February) and it looks like that product is going to have some great legs going forward.

4. I had a spot of benign skin cancer removed from my face. For a while there I looked like the elephant man.

I’ve got a few fun blog posts banging around in the back of my head for you guys. More coming soon.

If you’ve read my “Death of the Info Slut” article (and according to my blog stats a lot of you have) then you know I’m doing some major changes to the way I structure my day and live my life.

My good friend Kim says that I’m “Living with a startling amount of intention.”

Currently I’m working on a new “Mantra” . . . something I can mumble to myself or speak clearly in my mind anytime I feel overwhelmed, like I need to rush or otherwise stressed. (I hate that feeling.)

Here are the options. Tell me which one you like best and why:

1. “There are plenty of hours in the day.”

Pretty straightforward. Nice counterpoint to the standard “there aren’t enough hours in the day” bit.

2. “There are more than enough hours in the day.”

My gut tells me this might be the better option. It’s a more literal reaction to the “Not enough” line and somehow feels more “abundant” and “calm” than the “plenty” line.

3. There are too manyhours in the day.
Heh. Probably not. But it sounds pretty amazing to have that problem.

4-6. Basically the same as 1-3 but append “(To do what’s important)” on the end.

So “There are plenty of hours in the day (to do what’s important.),” “There are more than enough hours in the day (to do what’s important)” and (strangely) “There are too many hours in the day (to do what’s important.)”

There’s a certain strange brilliance to that last one, but I don’t think it’s what I’m going for.

I'm too lazy to edit this. But just pretend it says "Info Slut."

This is part 2 in my “I Quit” series of blog posts. You can see the first post here. In today’s post I go into my RIDICULOUS addiction to information and how I’ve started putting systems into place to deal with it.

My name is Chris Haddad and I’m an info addict . . .

Actually, that’s wrong. I’m not an info “addict.” I’m an info SLUT . . .

Ask my friends, (ex) girlfriends, family members, enemies and even some of my clients and they’ll tell you that I’ll give my attention away to ANYTHING . . .

Latest news about Brad and Angelina and how they’re relationship is being SHATTERED by Brad’s secret affair with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston?

I’m in.

80 page Wikpedia entries on the development, translation and ratings of the classic 1980’s cartoon series “The Smurfs?”

Oh, please, more.

“Stereo-instruction-exciting” pamphlets about prostate health?

SURE!

Issues of Cosmo, out of date public health warnings, half-burned magazines, political dribble . . .

I’ll take it!!

Really, whatever you got . . .whatever was within arm’s reach I’d DEVOUR it like a horny 14 year old who finally found his Dad’s “secret stash” of Playboy issues . . . .

Heck, I’d read it IN PUBLIC, while surrounded by friends, while at the movies, while playing board games, while riding on a roller coaster, while on a (inevitably bad) date . . .

It was bad . . .

And you know what? I don’t think it’s overstating it to say that my info-sluthood cost me A LOT . . .

It cost me relationships . . . took piles of money out of my pocket . . . kept me from personal achievements and goals . . . and ripped away a LOT of my time . . .

A LOT . . .

It got so bad that my ex used to take my iPhone away from me before we’d go to a party . . .

Where good friends would MOCK ME MERCILESSLY every time they saw me going off into “Haddad Land” . . .

And where I felt downright ASHAMED of my behavior . . . and powerless in the face of my sluthood.

So when I decided a week ago to “quit my job” . . . and to (in line with my re-reading of Tim Ferris’ “Four Hour Work Week”) DRASTICALLY reduce my info intake, I knew I was going to have a hard time of it . . .

I knew I was going to have WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS . . .

That I was going to be TEMPTED by the vicious bitch of info overload . . .

And that I was going to have to put SYSTEMS in place to keep me honest

Now, as I’m writing this I’m about 10 days into my “reform” . . .

My attempts to become a “Born Again Info Virgin.”

And you know what? So far it’s going pretty well.

Right now I have NO IDEA what’s going on with Brad and Angie (don’t tell me.)

I haven’t a CLUE what’s happening in the world of Pro Wrestling (that’s a weird one. I haven’t actually WATCHED professional wrestling in about a decade, but somehow got into the habit of keeping up with the backstage news EVERY DAY.)

And, honestly, I don’t really know what’s going on in national or local politics either. For the first time in YEARS my brain feels more or less “empty” and it’s GREAT.

So how’d I come this far in such a short amount of time?

Great question. Let me lay out how I “Killed” (or at least severely crippled) my inner info slut in record time.

Step 1: Admit You Have A Problem

OK, this sounds pretty basic, but it’s important. Step one was just admitting (to myself and to others) that I’ve got a BIG problem.

And I’ll admit it right here. For me, information is a “drug.” I get “high” by “knowing stuff” or even just by reading stuff.

That I’m POWERLESS in the face of random pieces of news. Once I admitted that and stopped feeling like I should just be able to “ignore this stuff” it got a lot easier.

Step 2: The Chemical Route

I don’t want to go too deep into this topic here, but a big part of my info slut “reform” was going to a doctor and using chemicals to “turn down the noise” in my

Makes a point . . . but for me the drugs really do work.

brain. As I write this I’ve been on 60 mg of Straterra for about 2 months now with pretty staggering results.

As I told my friends “Wow, this is what it’s like to only have one song in your head at a time.”

Going on ADHD drugs did a lot to “slow down” my brain and keep me from being utterly bored all the time. But ultimately it only got me halfway there. After years and years of “overloading” my brain on a daily basis in order to avoid having to actually DO something I had some pretty damned ingrained HABITS that needed to be addressed.

Step 3: Buy A Watch

This one sounds weird, but one of the biggest steps I took to help me get over my “info-sluthood” was to buy a watch.

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t owned a watch in YEARS (since I first got a cell phone.)

I bought a cool leather-cuff watch from Fossil about a month ago for 3 main reasons . . .

1. It let’s me leave my iPhone at home or at the office and still know what time it is. (Seriously.)

2. Even when I have my phone with me, I can find out what time it is without looking at my phone. When my phone was my only way of telling what time it was, it gave me an easy excuse to “go down the rabbit hole.” I’d check the time and “just quickly check my email,” log on to some kind of news site or find some other way to feed my hungry mind.

With the watch I can leave my phone buried in my pocket or in my bag . . . out of sight, out of mind.

3. The “Feeling” of the watch on my wrist is a constant reminder to “be good.”
This is more of a “subtle” thing, but having the watch on my wrist is a lot like tying a piece of string around my finger. It gives me a subtle, tactical reminder not to give in to my “Sluthood.” Not enough to do the job by itself, but a nice piece of the holistic pie.

Step 4: Don’t Put Coke In Front of A Coke Addict

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been slowly going through Tim Ferris’ “The Four Hour Work Week” again. And this time around I’ve been trying something “weird” . . . I’ve been actually doing what the book says.

A big section of “4HWW” has to do with REDUCING your info intake (drastically) so you can focus like a laser on being a prolific creator and getting in and out of “work mode” as quickly as possible.

Now personally, I’m a very STUBBORN guy, but I don’t have a lot of willpower.  I’m kind of a boundary-ignoring hedonist. If you put 13 cupcakes in front of me I’ll eat all 13 and then lick the napkins.

And if I’ve got CONSTANT, EASY access to information I’m going to consume all that too. (Just ask my friends.)

So what I decided to do was “NERF” my laptop and my (precious, precious) iPhone . . . I needed to make it easier NOT to consume massive amounts of “junk food for the brain” than it is to do so.

Nerfing The Laptop

Rescuetime is an awesome piece of free software that tracks your productivity.

1. Make productivity “a game.”

The first thing I did (per Tim’s recommendation) was download and install Rescuetime on my mac. (http://www.rescuetime.comt)

Rescuetime is a nifty little piece of software that tracks HOW you use your computer (and your web browser) and gives you graphs and stats on how much time you’re spending in each piece of software and on what kind of website.

(I’m ashamed to say that my Facebook, gossip site and IM time was MASSIVE when I first started.)

If you’re in the marketing world (on any world) you should know that “What’s measured improves.” The “guilt” of knowing that every second I spent chatting with a friend about “how dumb Marvel comics are these days” was going to end up on my weekly report put a major fire under my butt to actually pay attention and be productive.

This is what Leechblock does to sites you set it to block. I see this screen a lot.

2. Kill My Web browser

OK, this one was hard. I knew from “watching myself work” that I would typically spend at least half of my “productive” hours “checking just one more website” and shoveling crap into my brain.

In 4HWW Tim recommends a Firefox plugin called Leechblock . . .

This is a really nifty piece of software that can be used to either totally block or selectively control access to certain websites.

I immediately went into Leechblock and set it to TOTALLY block my biggest “Sin” sites . . . sites like (I’m ashamed to say) Perez Hilton, What Would Tyler Durden Do, Pro Wrestling Torch and a few others.

These were sites that were total “junk” for me, that added no actual joy or value to my life and that were just sapping away my precious time, energy and attention.

I also set Leechblock to enforce strict time limits on other sites. Currently I’ve got it to allow me 15 minutes of Facebook time every 24 hours. (Strangely, that can feel like a LOT of time if you just log in for a second or two to chat) and put similar rules up for things like Gmail, Google news, certain online comics I like to read etc.

Originally I was looking for a way to similarly nerf Safari (since having one nerfed browser and one “open” browser wasn’t going to work . . . I’d just end up browsing in the open browser and “cheating” on my info diet..)

I found a way to block sites in Safari by going into terminal and editing the “hosts” file on my computer, but ultimately it didn’t give me the flexibility I wanted so I ended up just deleting Safari off my machine entirely. Not good for checking how web sites work in different browsers but great for actually getting stuff done.

3. Set up Autoresponders to say I’m only checking work email twice per day (and actually STICK to it.)

Email is the bane of my existence. Like a rat in a cage I keep hitting that damn button and waiting for a food pellet to plop down into my lap. Especially when I’m out in the world with my iPhone.

Unfortunately, more often than not checking my email makes me MISERABLE.

It’s pretty rare that really GOOD news comes out of email, and the number of people writing me with “emergencies” or with news that I couldn’t (or shouldn’t) act on right away but that would bug me anyway was ridiculous.

So, per the 4HWW again, I set up my two main work email accounts to send out an AR saying I’d only check messages twice a day (usually at Noon and 4PM) and made a resolution to actually stick to it.

And you know what? So far, so good. By making myself not check my work email before noon everyday I find that my morning hours are ridiculously productive. In fact, I’ve managed to “Finally get to” several products and sales videos I’ve been meaning to write for MONTHS.

This little icon sits on my Dock and gives me magical powers of internet homicide.

4. Discover “Freedom.”

This is the biggest thing that’s contributed to my radical increase in productivity over the last couple weeks.

In “4HWW” Tim recommends a tiny (and free) program called “Freedom.” Freedom was developed by a grad student as a way to give you back your “freedom” from the tyranny of email and web browsing.

“Freedom” does just one thing (and does it really, really well.

Click the icon in your dock and Freedom brings up a dialogue box asking you how many minutes of “Freedom” you want (up to 480 minutes / 8 hours.) Once you hit “OK” and enter your password you’re officially locked out of access to the internet. No email, no web browsing, no chatting, no nothing.

I find it kind of funny that I’m in love with a piece of software that STOPS me from doing something, but have been amazed at how much calmer I feel as soon as I start the software up.

Suddenly all that mental “pressure” fades away and I can let myself actually focus on high-value, high-income projects without wondering about email, chat or crappy celebrity news. Highly recommended.

OK, my iPhone isn't "dead" but it is crippled. Gleefully so.

DIE iPHONE DIE

I remember a couple years ago I dropped my old iPhone in soup. At the time I thought it was both hilarious and tragic . . . but mostly hilarious.

For the next couple months I was iPhone-free, forced to use a crappy “single function” backup phone that didn’t do anything but phone calls.

It was great, but when the iPhone 3G came out, I caved and picked one up.

When I decided to “De-slut” myself I knew I had to figure out a way to Nerf my phone too. It’s just too easy with the iPhone to spend hours digging around Wikipedia, spin myself in circles waiting for email or otherwise find ways to “disengage” from the world. And even after getting on the ADHD drugs (which helped a LOT) I’d still find myself getting bored and going off into info land every chance I goh.

My current iPhone usage is far from perfect (I’m addicted to this block moving game) but I’ve managed to radically reduce the amount of time I spend on the thing.

Here’s how:

1. Remove Web Surfing From The iPhone

Originally I just wanted to find a way to block selected websites on my iPhone. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem like a possibility so I had to get more drastic and completely remove my access to my iPhone’s web browser.

Doing so was easy (though I needed a buddy to make it happen.)

Go to Settings>General>Restrictions

You’ll see a list of programs and settings you can “Restrict” on the iPhone. I think originally this was cerated so parents could keep their kids from accessing porn and Republican talking points on the phone . . . but it works well for “addicts and sluts” like me too.

I set Safari to be “restricted” on my iPhone and then had my office mate Tim enter a “secret code” to keep the damn thing locked out.

Tim then entered the “secret code” into a doc on my laptop and tucked it away in the annals of my laptop.

This way the only way for me to “Unrestrict” my web browser is to find that document on my laptop (I think I remember what folder it’s in) and enter the restriction code. (Or to completely reformat my iPhone.)

But Chris, doesn’t that completely ruin the use of your iPhone?

Eh. A little. I can still do maps and GPS on the phone, text, make phone calls and use apps. The apps are actually dangerous since it’s easy to get apps that let you on wikipedia and the like. I’d probably give myself a 70/100 for actually sticking to the program on this, but I’m definitely less of a “phone addict” than I was before.

2. Cut down access to email.

Finally I removed my moneyfingersinc.com and haddadink.com from my iPhone completely. If I’m going to cut my work email access down to just twice a day (or once a day more often then not) then there’s no reason to be hitting the mail button every 5 minutes on my phone.

Now I still DO check my personal Gmail account on my phone (and I do so too much.)

Ideally I’d like to remove the Mail program from my iPhone entirely, but I can’t find any way to do that without Jailbreaking the phone. Suckage. If you have suggestions on that, let me know.

The Results

So there you go. Am I a “born again info virgin” yet?

Eh. Probably not. I get “weak” at times and start surfing through endgadget or Joystiq, but overall I’m doing MUCH better than I was before.

My brain feels “freer” than it has in a looong time, I’m able to focus more on work projects (and on the awesome people in front of me) and I find my moods to be a bit more stable . . .less prone to spiraling off in different directions every time I read a piece of noise.

I hate to say it, but so far ignorance really is bliss.

Now, there is a counterargument that as a “upstanding citizen” of this fine country I should be interested and informed about what’s going on in local and national politics and at what kind of news items are flying across the public consciousness. But I’m not buying it. The really important stuff is still going to get to me. And I know a lot of really intelligent, info-overloaded people who can fill me in at a moment’s notice.

Not too long ago folks had to wait DAYS or even WEEKS to find out what was going on around the world. And they did just fine.

And I’m becoming “Addicted” to the amount of writing, thinking and CREATION I can do now that the “pipes” of my big powerful mind aren’t all clogged up with crap.d.

I’ll keep you in the know on how it goes. And if you want to join me, leave a comment below.

A Compliment Is Like A Cupcake, It Should Never Be Turned Down.

Can you take a compliment?

I mean, can you really?

Odds are you can’t.

In fact, if you’re like most people you take a compliment the same way you take a punch . . .

. .  .with a sick little grimace on your face and a sudden, uncomfortable clenching of the bowels.

I see this all the time with my friends (and I used to see it in myself until I learned the “secret” I’m going to teach you today.)

I tell my buddy [NAME REDACTED] that he’s one of the most brilliant people that I know. . . that he’s got a mind like a beautiful clock and thoughts like leaves made of starlight,  and what does he do?

He goes into immediate sarcastic, self-deprecating, self-loathing American deflection mode.

He says . . .

“Yeah, well, maybe, nah, I’m nothing special, whatever, I actually suck, WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE . .  . blah blah blah.”

I tell my friend [NAME REDACTED] that she’s beautiful . . . that the shape of her sends a thrill through my whole damn body . .  .that her smile melts me and makes my inner caveman grunt, and what does she do?

She curls up her shoulders, slumps down into a slouch and gets a look on her face like I just kicked her kitten while singing the MaCarena at the top of my lungs (in German.) And then under her breathe she half-says “I’m not so bad, I guess. I mean, compared to really ugly people.”

And on and on and on . . .

It’s become kind of a sad game with me.

Telling people things that (to me) are fundamentally TRUE about them and watching as they squirm and squeal and suffer.

And then when they’re done . . . when they’ve gone through that little dance of ego-destruction I tell them this . ..

How To Take A Compliment The Right Way (And Without Feeling Like An Egotistical Asshole)

Here’s the secret: When you get right down to it, the only way to take a compliment (and to really take it well) is to look whoever’s giving you the compliment right in the eye, give them a warm, appreciative smile and say those MAGIC WORDS your Mom taught you . . .

“THANK YOU.”

No “Thank you, but you’re just saying that.” No “No, I’m really not.” No evasion or deflection at all.

Why?

Well, for a couple reasons.

1. If you “deflect” or “dodge” a compliment you’re actually INSULTING the person who complimented you.

Huh?

Well, think about it. If somebody goes to the effort of saying something NICE to you (even if it’s something that you fundamentally don’t believe

Only mimes and assholes say no to compliments. You're not a mime are you?

to be true) that means it’s real for them in that moment.

In their personal reality (and we all create our own reality every moment of every day) you really ARE smart/beautiful/sexy/charming/a marvelous dancer/incredibly badass.

And if you don’t take the compliment? If you minimize or dodge or deflect?

Well, you’re basically telling them they’re WRONG. Which is kind of like spitting in the face of someone who just tried to hand you a lollipop.

Basically, by trying to be “Modest” you’re actually being a dick.

And why the heck would you want to do that?

2. Not taking a compliment is being MEAN to yourself.

A while back I posted my “I Like Myself Game” and I really feel like this post is a “sister” to that one.

In my experience people who can’t take compliments aren’t “humble” at all . . . they’re just swimming in a mire of low self esteem . . .

It’s like they jumped off (or got pushed by hypercritical parents) off the edge of the “I’m awesome” boat and now they refuse to grab onto a life preserver no matter how hard you throw it.

(Heck, when you throw them a life preserver they actually throw it back at you, vicious like the death frisbee from “I Come In Peace.”)

3. Accepting A  Compliment Is Not About You!!

This is only a gradient different than point 1, but I think it’s worth it’s own number.

The thing you’ve got to realize is that when someone gives you a compliment, it’s NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT YOU. It’s about their perception and experience of you in that exact moment. And you don’t have to BELIEVE the compliment in order to accept it.

For instance . . .

Over the last year or so I’ve had a LOT of people tell me that I’m “Confident” and “Handsome” (Also that I’m an excellent dancer, that my skin smells like freedom, that I have the voice of a reincarnated cat-version of Elvis Presley and that being within 10 feet of me is like being in the presence of a newly awakened demi-god of funk. Who ARE these people? What is WRONG with them?)

And personally, I don’t really get it.

In the back of my head I’m still the awkward, skinny, oddly-shaped, marble-mouthed geek I was back in High School. I’ve just  gained a little “man-weight,” figured out how to “play” in the world at large and learned WAY too much about persuasion and how to talk to people.

But I don’t SAY that . . .

I just smile, nod and say “thanks, that’s really nice of you.”

Because I know that at the core, the compliment I’m getting isn’t about who I AM at a fundamental level, but about who I SEEM TO BE at that moment.

And since it’s not really about me, I can say “thanks” really easily, catalog the compliment away in the back of my brain and roll it around like candy later.

OK, Here’s The Fun Part .  .  .

OK, if you’re one of those “Can’t take a compliment” people this is going to be painful. But here’s what  I want you to do . . .

Next time someone gives you a compliment (whether it’s on something superficial like your looks or something deep like the QUALITY OF YOUR SOUL) . . .

1. Take a deep breathe. You’ll probably feel that “deflection” response welling up inside you. Don’t ignore it. Look at it. Feel it. And then choose not to react to it.

2. Realize that the compliment really isn’t about you. And since it’s not REALLY about you (though it is at least PARTIALLY about you) you don’t have to run away from it.

2. Look them right in the eye (even if you REALLY want to look away) and as calmly as you can say “Thank you.”

3. Throw a little smile on the back end of it for tailspin.

4. Notice what happens to the person who gave you the compliment. Notice how it just makes their DAY to have you accept what they say so openly. (Usually they kind of glow.)

5. Do it again and again and again until this “Sticks.”

6. Find those other people out in the world who can’t take compliments either (there are a lot of them) and teach them what I just taught you here today. At first they will hate you for it. And then they’ll come back and give you a really friendly back rub.

(No, I have no marketing lesson in all of this. Except for maybe that being sincerely thankful to your customers is a great way to build long term love.)