I just got off stage where I played a rousing game of “What, so what?” with my good friend Scott Bourne. Scott held a room of rabid podcasters rapt as her laid out all the basics of how you can turn a passion for niche-casting into cold hard cash.
So if you’re here after seeing Scott and I at the expo, welcome and I hope you’ll stick around as I throw a little marketing speak your way.
What’s the core marketing concept every podcaster and niche-media mogul needs to know if they want to attract honest to goodness advertisers?
Just this:
People are selfish. Really selfish. Spend all the time in the world crafting an absolutely gorgeous audio ad, shell out the hard cash for your very own voice of god and work your fingers to the cold white bone and you know what? Most people–most consumers–won’t care. They won’t care about the soccer games you missed, the money you spent or that vacation you just know you could take if you could just get a couple of folks to buy from you’re loving sponsor.
Consumers only care about one thing: “What’s in it for me? How is this product or service going to make my life better, make my day simpler and let me do things I just couldn’t do before?”
If you can’t answer those questions — if you can’t let go of facts, figures and [-B features B-], and paint a compelling picture of the wondrous benefits the product or service you’re selling will provide, you’re doomed and damned to marketing purgatory.
So, when putting together your ads and marketing podcasts, take a deep breath, close your eyes and will yourself to translate your boring features into bombastic benefits. If you’re a consultant, don’t tell me about your four year degree from Harvard, instead, focus on the peace of mind I’ll experience knowing an Ivy League intellect is hard at work on the job. If you’re selling sports cars, don’t waste precious space prattling on about cubic inches, torque and horsepower. Instead, paint a picture of how powerful I’ll feel as I barrel down the road, gunning the engine, outrunning my humdrum life, and driving off into the sunset with a sultry waif giggling sexily by my side.
In other words, show me what’s in it for me.
Eager to know more? Drop me a line. Or if you’re at the conference call me on my cell at 206-550-5558.
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Gary Bencivenga (gotta love that name) just posted a new edition of his “Bencivenga Bullets” up on the web for all to see. Gary is widely held to be the absolute greatest Copywriter of all time, and you’d better believe that when he opens his brain and says “dig in” I put everything else I’m doing aside and grab a spork.
In this issue Gary lets us in on the biggest thing you need to keep in mind when planning your marketing strategy.
Check it out.
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Welcome to the Hard-Working Words Newsletter–-a monthly publication from copywriter and word-mercenary, Chris Haddad. If you’d rather not receive this email, simply send a message to unsubscribe@haddadink.com. The little elves who live in my computer will take care of everything.
September, 2006
Hey folks,
Welcome back to the Hard-Working Words newsletter. I’ve had lots to chew on over the last month (OK, month and change. I’m a couple days late.) Between a four-day trip to Vegas, a raucous celebration of my 29th birthday, visits from friends from the East coast, run ins with terrible and horrifying customer service and a veritable mountain of good old fashioned work for lovely, lovely clients, I feel like I just want to curl up in a field somewhere and take a long, satisfying nap.
But fear not, dear reader, because all that exhausting whackiness has filled my head with metric tons of marketing wonder.
Big Ask, Small Ask
I’ve always had a love/loathe relationship with Las Vegas. At its base level, the whole city is a palace built on the backs of wasted cash and human misery. Plus it’s hot. And I’ve always distrusted buffets.
But still, there’s something awe-inspiring about strolling down the strip. The lights. The sounds. The impossibly cheap prime rib. I tell foreign friends that if they want to really experience the US of A, they should head to Vegas. And I always tell business owners and wannabe copywriters that if you really want to learn how to sell–if you really want to learn how to separate customers from their cash and have them thanking you for the privilege–a few days cavorting around a casino is just about all the education you need.
Why? Because Vegas is the absolute master of the small ask.
The small what?
The small ask. The tiny one. What does a slot machine ask you for? Just one quarter. Just one nickel. Just one little push of that shiny white button. Just 15 more seconds of your time.
In a recent post on the HWW blog I talked about how important it is to actually ask for a response from your customers (I even used a 7th grade dance as an analogy. Go check out the post). But there’s a whole other component to the call-to-action mythology: You can only ask for as much as you’ve earned.
Huh?
Think of it this way: Say you meet a nattily dressed business type at a party and he immediately asks you for a thousand dollars. Would you give it to him? Doubtful. But if that guy put in the time and effort to sit down with you, find out about your wants and needs , lay out how his particular investment plan or product was going to dramatically benefit you and your family, get ringing testimonials from people you trust and give you a powerful guarantee that you’d be well taken care of for trusting him, then I’d say the chance of your cutting a check goes way the heck up.
Why?
Because in the second scenario he earned the right to to ask you for that thousand dollars (whereas in the first one he probably just earned a snigger and a withering stare.)
So here’s the big point.
If you’re asking for something BIG (and big varies depending on the customer. To some folks five bucks is big. To other $5k is nothing at all) you have to earn it. You have to do the old-fashioned marketing work of convincing them that you’re trustworthy, that your product or service does what you say it does and that their buyer’s remorse is going to be kept to an absolute minimum.
And the best way to get to the point where you’re able to do the big ask–the best way to actually earn that special right–is by getting a little Vegas and making a series of smaller asks.
For instance, you could:
-Set up a form on your website that asks for an email address so you can send a customer more valuable and educational information.
-Send out a newsletter that asks your readers for a few minutes of their time in exchange for some useful tips.
-Set up a sales page that asks your customers to tune into a free teleconference on a topic that could have a big effect on their bottom line.
And about a hundred thousand other things that have you developing rapport and trust like our thousand-dollar-richer business man above. And when you’ve done all that homework and hard education? Well then, dear reader, ask away.
If you want to talk about this further, drop me a line at chris@haddadink.com
or pop over to the HWW Blog and leave a comment.
Comments? Questions? Harsh invectives?: chris@haddadink.com.
All content is copyright Chris Haddad, 2006. Feel free to distribute this issue far and wide as long as the entire newsletter is kept intact.
To learn more about Hard-Working Words and the never-ending battle against jargon, visit http://www.haddadink.com or call 206-550-5558.
Chris Haddad is available to speak at your conference or event. From copywriting basics to marketing mastery, Chris can communicate complex concepts in a way that will have both your brain and your cheekbones aching.
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A client just put a postcard under my nose and asked me what I thought of it. I took a look, scanned through the copy, noted the lack of a headline and then said “Well, there’s a whole lot wrong with it, but the big thing is this: You never ask for anything. You never tell the reader to call you. Instead you’ve just got your phone number up there in the corner hoping that some kind soul might notice it.”
And then I gave him “The Dance Analogy.”
It goes like this: Just having your contact info up there and assuming somebody will use it is a lot like walking up to a girl at your seventh grade dance and saying “dancing is fun.”
And then just standing there, waiting for her to do something and hoping your fly is zipped.
If you want to get out on that floor, you’ve got to ask. You’ve got to say “Do you want to dance?” and stand there and take the answer.
Otherwise, why did you show up in the first place?
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Tuesday night Dominic Canterbury and I rolled out our “Top Ten Marketing Mistakes Made by Small Businesses and How To Avoid Them” class for a third go-round. It was a raucous group, including a tech writer, a private investigator a “poly-positivity” crusader and, of course, a couple real estate agents.
You can see what folks thought of the class by heading over to the Biznik Events Page.
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You know the old adage about squeaky wheels? Sure you do. They get all greased up and taken care of while the quiet ones get completely ignored.
I went down to take my 4PM yoga class yesterday expecting to spend an hour and a half sweating and stretching with Bret, my favorite teacher. The guy is a motivational monster. He has a way of making you do things you didn’t think were possible, practical or cool and have you loving him for it at the end of class. He’s single handedly helped me deal with (if not overcome) some painful physical challenges and I always found myself looking forward to his classes.
Until yesterday.
Because yesterday I showed up for class and found out that some squeaky wheels complaining about classes being too hard made it so Bret doesn’t teach there anymore. Not to say the other teachers are bad. They all know their stuff. They all know how to make you stretch. But they aren’t Bret.
And after class, a gaggle of us were sitting there saying “You know, Bret was a big part of the reason I come here. Bret was a big part of why I do yoga at all.”
I’m wondering how this is going to shake out. I’m wondering if the powers that be are going to find out the hard way that it’s the quiet ones you need to pay attention to. It’s the quiet ones who are the core of your whole damned business.
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Coming back from my camping trip this weekend I spotted one of the simplest written billboards in Madison Avenue Advertising History.
It said this:
“Free Wi-Fi at Tully’s”
And guess what? Next time I’m faced with a Tully’s or a Starbucks for sitting down and getting some work done, you know full well Tully’s will be getting my business.
Tangentially, while thinking about this I stumbled on The Clear Channel Outdoor website. Scary stuff. This is where the brand building crush comes from my friends. Be afraid!
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After reading this month’s HWW Newsletter Friend of Haddonia Beth Yockey passed on this little Brand loving treasure from The Onion:
Three Of Man’s Closest Relationships With Brands
August 16, 2006
PASADENA, CA—Three of the five deepest emotional investments of local resident Ken Bowman are currently Apple, American Apparel, and Starbucks, sources close to the 27-year-old graphic designer said Monday. “American Apparel makes a strong debut this year, surging ahead of [Bowman's girlfriend] Missy [Levenson], Diesel and Tom’s Of Maine,” Bowman’s roommate and marketing consultant Dean Childers said. “Ken’s mother is still a solid number five, but Skechers is down to the seventh spot from number two last year, a drop which may spell wider implications.” Missing from this year’s list were Roomba, Bowman’s cat Pepsi, and Childers himself.
Thanks Beth. And thanks Onion.
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Welcome to the Hard-Working Words Newsletter–-a monthly publication from copywriter and word-mercenary, Chris Haddad. If you’d rather not receive this email, simply send a message to unsubscribe@haddadink.com. The little elves who live in my computer will take care of everything.
August, 2006
Hey folks,
The Hard Working words blog is just chocked full of copywriting and marketing goodness. Check it at HWW Blog and why not subscribe to the RSS feed while you’re there?
Getting to We
Norwegian people are weird. And so are Swedes. And the movies they make? Even weirder.
For instance:
Last week I curled up on my couch one night and watched a Norwegian/Swedish flick called “Kitchen Stories.” According to IMDB the plot is:
“A scientific observer’s job of observing an old cantakerous single man’s kitchen habits is complicated by his growing friendship with him.”
In other words, a middle aged Swedish guy is assigned to sit in a really high chair and watch what an old Norwegian guy does in his kitchen. And under no circumstances are the middle aged Swedish guy and the old Norwegian guy to, you know, actually talk to each other.
For a foreign film, it’s got the fewest subtitles I’ve ever seen. Vast stretches are just filled with old white men waggling their eyebrows at each other or sharing long, uncomfortable silences
And, of course, the two of them do talk and do become friends and do have long conversations about which side of the road it’s proper to drive on.
And of course I learned a whole bunch about marketing just by watching a couple of old Europeans make eyes at each other.
Oh, come on Chris, this one sounds like a stretch even for you
Oh, I’m not so sure about that.
Here’s the deal:
Theoretically you and customers have a pretty formal relationship. You sit in your high chair, they sit at their kitchen table and the interactions between you are formalized and few. You might send out a marketing piece, they might come buy something, but it’s a shallow relationship, a marriage of convenience and an unemotional one at that. In other words, you really don’t talk.
But to be successful in the marketing eco-sphere of 2006, you’ve got to come down off your high chair, get away from that “Us, Them” formal mentality. To be successful today, you’ve got to create a relationship and a community around your company.
To be Successful today You’ve got to Get to We
Do me a favor: Close your eyes and dig through your brain for those companies that you feel warm and fuzzy about.
Got it? Ok. What makes you feel so great about that company? Is it the quality of the product? Is it the quality of the product? Maybe a little. Is it their awe inspiring customer service? Maybe. But I’m willing to bet that the real cockle-warming, loyalty building factor is this: It’s a company that makes you feel special. It’s a company that makes you feel like you’re part of a community.
It’s a company that makes you think “We”
For instance, I’m a rabid and loyal Mac user. I ditched out of the world of PC’s 4 years ago and haven’t looked back. I read Mac news websites, get into long conversations about the relative merits of Mac OS X versus Windows and, yes, feel just that little bit smug and superior whenever I see a PC user struggling with an un-elegant behemoth of a laptop.
In other words, when I think Apple and the people who use their products, I think “We.” Apple has created a community (or maybe a cult) around their products and that community is key to keeping them strong and powerful in the future.
I used to drive a Volkswagen (now I’m a proud pedestrian) and thought “We” when I thought about VW drivers.
I go to a Yoga Studio and think “We” whenever I look around at all the smiling/grimacing/sweating faces.
Huh. Ok, but how do I get my customers to start thinking “We?” How do I convince them to build a community around my company and become emotionally invested in what I do?
Glad you asked. The keys to “We-ness” are:
A. Giving tremendously awesome customer service.
B. Making your customers feel special and unique.
C. Having an honest to god conversation with them on a regular basis.
Now, the first two are either self-explanatory or huge topics that I don’t have room for here. But that third part is easy. How do you have a regular conversation with your customers?
-You start a blog (and post to it on a regular basis. And actually reply to the comments left by customers or potential customers.)
-You send out a newsletter that’s packed not with self-promotional pap, but with honest-to-goodness useful information.
And you send regular messages–and I don’t really care how you do this–that show just how much you appreciate your customers.
Speaking of which: Have I told you how much I love you, Dear HWW readers? I don’t know that I have. So let me do it now.
I love you.
If you want to talk about this further, drop me a line at chris@haddadink.com
or pop over to the HWW Blog and leave a comment.
Get Strategic
Strategic marketing consultant and friend of Haddonia (he’s got diplomatic immunity in my office), Dominic Canterbury has just launched his very own blog. It’s downright tasty and refreshingly comabtive. Check it out at http://www.dcstrategic.blogspot.com
And that’s all for this month, folks. I gotta go talk to some customers.
Comments? Questions? Harsh invectives?: chris@haddadink.com.
All content is copyright Chris Haddad, 2006. Feel free to distribute this issue far and wide as long as the entire newsletter is kept intact.
To learn more about Hard-Working Words and the never-ending battle against jargon, visit http://www.haddadink.com or call 206-550-5558.
Chris Haddad is available to speak at your conference or event. From copywriting basics to marketing mastery, Chris can communicate complex concepts in a way that will have both your brain and your cheekbones aching.
More
I was digging through some old comic books this morning and came across this classic of an ad. You probably recognize it. It’s been parodied and played upon for years and years and years. And it’s also made absolutely millions for “Charles Atlas” and his publishing company.
It’s also a great example of the “What are you really selling?” principle.
When I sit down with my consulting clients, the first question I almost always ask is “What are you selling?” And my clients usually spout something off about widgets or wombats or massages or “solutions” (God, I hate that word.) I let them talk. I let them prattle a bit. And then, when I think they’re just about out of steam, I jump in with “Ok, that’s great, but what are you really selling?”
Take a look at the Atlas ad, for instance. What he’s selling is nothing more than a book–a “complete body building class” that’s probably a hundred loosely bound pages of leg presses and squat thrusts based around the principles of “dynamic tension.”
But what is he really selling?
Pride. Power. Sex. In no ambiguous terms, this ad says “Buy this course (and no, we aren’t going to give you details on the course here, you’ll have to send us 2 bucks to learn more about it) and you’ll be ‘The hero of the beach.’”
Which is a pretty compelling promise. It’s a pretty big one to keep. But this ad–or ads very similar to it–have run for years and years and years in the back of comic books and magazines.
Honestly, I could spend another hour digging through and picking out things this ad does right (the “surgeon general” bit at the bottom right corner is a gem, as is the fact that they don’t try to sell the course in the ad, they just try to get you to send in for more info–a great example of the “How much are you asking for?” principle which I’ll dive into in another post.), but instead I’ll just point you toward charlesatlas.com and leave you with this little question: What are you really selling?
P.S. It might look old timey, but I found this ad in a comic published in 2001 (hence the website.) The Atlas folks know they’re famous for their ads, and they’re smart enough not to mess with a good thing.
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