Here’s how it happened . . .

“Chris,” she blubbered “We’re screwed!! We opened up our cart for our launch two hours ago and have only gotten ONE sale. I already told my guy to put the multi-pay up there and cut the price to see if we can save this thing!”

And then there was a bunch more blubbering.

Blubber. Blubber. Blubber.

This actually happens all the time. Folks think their price is the number one factor keeping them from selling BAJILLIONS of widgets.

And while I totally agree that price is important and that too high or too low of a price can kill your sales, cutting your price right after you open cart is one of the WORST things you can do.

Let me explain . . .

Suppose I walked up to you and said “Hey, pay me $2,000.00 and I’ll punch you in the face.”

You’d probably say “No,” right?

OK, so what if after you say “No” I turn it around say “OK, how about I do it for $500 instead?”

Weirdly enough, I bet the answer is still no.

Dropping the price of your product NEVER works unless you actually make your customers WANT what you’ve got to sell first.

You don’t want a punch in the face at $2,000.00, at $500.00 at $5 or at ANY price at all . . .

In my friend’s case, the PRICE wasn’t actually the problem at all. The problem was that she’d never done the work of making her customers really WANT what she had to sell. she’d never painted a picture of how it was going to transform their lives. She’d never created that LUST for a product that’s at the heart of all successful launches.

And unless you create that DEEP ROOTED DESIRE for your product it doesn’t MATTER what you charge, nobody is going to buy what you’re selling.

Happy 4th.

Steve Jobs will bite off your face if you mess with his iPhone Launch

Quick quiz: You walk up to Steve Jobs. You look him straight in the eye (aren’t you brave) and you say, with a lot of confidence and bravado in your voice,  “Steve, you’ve got two choices:

Choice one is we cut off your left hand right here, right now, cauterize the wound on a hot car engine, add some nice seasoning and make you watch as we use your digits to feed our particularly carnivorous and hungry goldfish pet goldfish.

Choice two is we break Apple’s vaunted secrecy and security and actually let a fully-featured iPhone 4G prototype out into the wild MONTHS before you’re ready to launch the thing . . .

What do you think Steve does?

Does he . . .

A. Say “Man, I sure do want my iPhone launch to be successful, but DUDE this is my HAND you’re talking about” and tell you to go ahead and leak the iPhone.

B. Glare at you with steely determination, take a swig of bourbon (where’d that flask come from?), hold out his hand (steady as a rock) and say “You knife better be SHARP.”

C. Cry. Not like a baby. Not in a weak way. But with stunning grace, power and elegance. Tears that hit you in the gut like a wrestler with a 2 x 4 and make you wonder what you’ve been doing with your life so far.

D. POUNCE ON YOU LIKE A TIGER AND EAT YOUR FACE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT MESS WITH STEVE JOBS’ LAUNCH.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they think the iPhone 4G leak was an “inside job.” (Are these the same people who think 9/11 was a hoax or that astronauts landed in Nevada instead of the moon?)

Personally, I think they’re nuts. Kookoo. Crazy. Kind of dumb.

Not just because leaking an iPhone is 100% against Apple’s MO (they’ve NEVER had a full device get out into the wild like this before, and from what I hear Apple employees live in constant fear for their lives and the lives of their children at the idea of letting too much info out.)

But because from a “Product Launch” perspective letting the iPhone 4G out early makes about as much sense as wearing a pancake as a hat.

Obviously there’s a pretty big difference between the kind of information-based launches I regularly work on and the massive, world-destroying stuff that big poppa Steve turns around a couple times a year (mmm. iPad yummy.)

But what pretty much every launch has in common is a desire to control and shape the conversation around your product and around your topic.

On Doug Fath’s recent launch, for instance, we wanted to shape opinion on “Student Housing,” hit the “Student Housing Sucks” prejudice head on and create our own version of reality where Student Housing was the BEST way to invest in real estate in 2010. (Tangentially, I really do think that’s true. Doug’s stuff is awesome.)

With the iPhone getting out into the wild now, Steve and the marketing geniuses over at Apple have almost completely lost control of the  launch conversation.

Even worse, he’s lost control of the public’s curiosity and the MYSTERY around the new phone.

I bet Steve feels a little like a burlesque dancer who strides out on stage ready to TEASE the hell out of the audience only to have some asshole run up and steal her pasties.

Without the mystery . . . well, what does she got?

Now, I have no doubt in my mind that the iPhone 4G is going to be successful. (Heck, I’ll probably get one myself.)

But I literally ache with sympathy to apple for having their whole launch plan blown out of the water like this.

Normally Apple’s “unveiling events” are global news, surrounded by fervor and speculation and fanboys breaking their own necks to try to figure out what’s coming next.

Now? We KNOW what’s coming.

I just hope that Steve has “One more thing” to blow us away.

I went to see “Alice In Wonderland” last weekend.

It was a bad movie.

It was pretty to look at, sure. But in that vacuous, crazy way Hollywood seems to prefer these days. Pretty like an ice sculpture. Pretty like a punch in the face.

But bloodless in the purest sense. It lacked anything resembling life.

I saw it at the Imax. My girlfriend and I got there late and had to stand up and dance around in the back of the theater at first. Then we saw seats way down in front of the screen. We snuck like sneaky rabbits, hunched down in our seats and stared up at the God-sized face of Johnny Depp.

And we were dazzled and bored.

BORED.

BORED.

It’s pretty amazing to me that someone can spend THAT much money and THAT much time on something so . . . slight.

The “plot” of the movie is that it’s been 13 years since Alice’s first trip to Wonderland. She’s 19 now, thin and whispy and scheduled to be married to a weak-chinned noble.

He proposes to her at a big party with all her friends and several of her enemies. They stand in a gazebo. He gets on one knee.

And she dashes off into the woods to follow a rabbit.

Then . . .

Well, stuff happens. Not much of it memorable. There’s cakes and tea and sword fights and lots of CGI.

I guess one of the “cool things” about this movie is supposed to be that it’s a blend of live action and animation. And that it’s SEAMLESS.

I guess it is . . . but do we really care? Oh! Look! It’s Johnny Depp and a bunch of animated playing cards with spears! Whoopty! Why is the bunny a better actor than Alice? Strange.

I really just wanted an excuse to put a pretty girl on my blog.

At the beginning of the story, you learn that (for some reason) It’s Alice’s “destiny” to get hold of the Vorpal Sword and Slay the Jabberwocky on (something that starts with an F) day.

And so, dutifully, the plot pushes on. Alice meets some creatures. She gets the Vorpal sword. There’s some small, unbelievable doubt that she might not be the RIGHT Alice. But there’s no OTHER Alice in the movie, and nobody really takes that seriously, not even her.

At the end, the Red Queen and her army of playing cards approaches the White Queen (a stoned Anne Hathaway) in force. Animated soldiers face off. Johnny throws his hat.

And the champions march onto the field.

On the white side we have Alice.

She’s wearing armor (nobody ever explains what the armor is about.)

She has a shield.

She carries the Vorpal sword . . . .

On the red side, the Jabberwocky.

It’s big and mean. It’s a dragon. Fin Fang Foom.

Now, early on in the story the Red Queen is told that the prophesy says that Alice will kill the Jabberwocky on the (F day) with the Vorpal sword.

By the time the “climax” comes upon us, it is (F DAY), Alice has the Vorpal sword . . .

You’d think she’d be smart and leave the Jabberwocky at home. She seems really fond of her Jabberwocky and I’m pretty sure you can’t just go on Amazon and get another one.

But no.

As the champions approach each other the one truly cool moment of the movie happens. It’s a moment that hints at a much BETTER movie that simply didn’t get made. I’m sure there’s a script for this better movie out there somewhere. This script for a better movie got savaged and thrashed and mutated and maligned.

But this one tiny scene from this better movie goes like this . .  .

SCARY! Wonder what his story is. Why didn't Tim Burton tell me?

Jabberwocky: “So we meet again on the field of battle, my old enemy.”

Alice: “We’ve met before?”

Jabberwocky: “Not you, insignificant bearer. I mean the sword!”

Ahh! Now there’s some meat.

The idea that OTHERS have raised the Vorpal Sword against the Jabberwocky and FAILED. Now THERE’S an idea. THERE’S something interesting. THERE’S a bit of TENSION.

There’s a STORY.

If only they’d told us about THAT before all this malarky with big chins and bad CG.

But no.

The fight goes on.

And what happens is what you knew would happen from frame one.

Alice kills the Jabberwocky.

The Red Queen gets sent off with Crispn Glover.

And Johnny Depp does a truly AWFUL CG enhanced Dance to some form of Acid-fueled hip hop.

And we all sort of shuffle and harumph our way out of the theater.

Our pockets feel lighter. We give back our glasses.

We make slight mouth noises about it being “OK.” Even the kids look kind of cheated.

And we all think “Shouldn’t it have been better than that? Shouldn’t I have cared?”

“Shouldn’t my heart have soared and shuddered at the idea that Alice could . . . lose?”

Now, I’m not ranting on this to make fun of Hollywood (though that’s fun), or to hector Tim Burton (though he deserves hectoring. He’s done much better in the past  . . . the far past.)

But to make a point about marketing. (Seriously, I’m not kidding. Stop laughing.)

And that point is this:

Whether you’re making a movie, running a product launch or just trying to make a sale, it’s the STORY that matters.

I got in a conversation with a fellow Product Launch Manager not too long ago. He couldn’t figure out why a client had hired me instead of him for a project.

After all, he’s a lot better at the “tech stuff” than I am. He’s got bells on top of whistles. Big ideas. Cool bits of gadgetry.

Just like Alice in Wonderland, really. Lots of cool gadgetry. Lots of pretty pictures.

But no story worth giving a damn about.

And I’ll tell you right now, I don’t care how flashy your videos are, how hip your design, how nifty your social media . . . if you don’t have a story that gets into the hearts and minds of your prospects, you don’t got a damn thing.

Later.

(Of course Alice In Wonderland made a truckload of money. But you get the idea.)

Sorry, Roger . . . Praying won't make people pay for your website.

Roger Ebert can’t figure out how to make money on the internet . . .

Which to me, seems downright weird . . .

On his (excellent) blog last week Roger posted a loooong and amusing ramble about how “nobody” can figure out how to make money online . . .

(Well, nobody but porn stars, shysters and fundraiser-happy religious kooks anyway . . .)

Personally, I think Roger is one of the sharpest writers and smartest dudes working in pop culture today . .

But when it comes to internet marketing, he’s downright dumb . . .

Here’s why . . .

In info marketing (which is the world I live and play in online and, really, what Roger Ebert does every single day) you’ve got three major pieces of “fuel” that drive your ability to pull in the bucks online . . .

1. Is Traffic . . . getting people to actually show up on your website in the first place and STICK AROUND long enough to consume some of your content, drive the “authority” of your site up and ( you know) maybe even BUY something . . .

2. Is Credibility . . .Do people who show up on your site like and trust you? Do they LISTEN to what you say? Do they think that what you offer to the world is actually valuable in some way? Are they willing to pay for the information that you’ve got to offer?

3. Is Conversion . . . the actual copy and mechanism that gets people to pull out their credit cards, type in that loooong string of numbers and actually give you the cash you’re doing all this for in the first place.

Now, Roger has number 1 in spades . . .

And has a really damned healthy dose of number 2 as well (though maybe not in the way that he thinks) . . .

(In fact, I’m willing to bet that if you asked your average “in the trenches” internet marketer if they could make a boatload of cash with the traffic and credibility that Roger Ebert has (and do so ethically and without pulling any sneaky tricks at all)  . . .well, they’d do backflips of joy and go on a three week product creation bender that could only end armies of dollars marching lockstep into their bank account  . . .)

But Number 3 (Conversion) is Where The Venerable Mr. Ebert is Absolutely Falling Down On The Job . . .

Here’s the full text of Roger’s “pitch” for his “Ebert Club”  . . .

Roger "kind of sort of" wants to invite you to join his club . . . maybe. If you feel like it. No pressure. At all.

Dear Readers:

Most web sites generate less income than they cost to maintain. Mine is no exception. Because I want to preserve free access to the site, I’ve come up with an idea I’d like to run by you. I’m announcing The Ebert Club, which will offer a group of additional attractions and conveniences for members.

Membership in the club will not be expensive. Through March, we’ll have a special introductory rate of $4.99 for a year’s membership. After April 1, the price will shoot up to $5. No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. April 1 is the date I was appointed movie critic of the Sun-Times,
and I plan to live it up.

Your membership benefits will include:

1. The site’s RSS/Newsletter feed, which Includes quick clickable links to all my new reviews and other site content. (Full disclosure: This will also continue to be free).

2. Quick links to my Special Pages for Twitter. These are free-standing web pages I create on the spur of a notion.

3. Quick links to new postings on Roger Ebert’s Journal and Jim Emerson’s Scanners.

4. Selected @ebertchicago, winnowed to improve the signal to noise ratio. All the joys of following my Twitter stream, from the comfort of your inbox.

5. A private discussion thread for Club members. This will resemble one of the comment threads on my Journal, but its URL will be made available to members only.

6. The Web Report: Unexpected and delightful web discoveries. I find links myself. Readers send me amazing pages. As a club member, we will not bother you with anything dumb.

7. Occasional Special Pages for club members only.

8. Advance notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale. The festival sells out early every year. At Ebertfest, I’ll hold a meet-and-greet for club members.

9. You will be helping enormously to support this web site. Well, that’s worth something, isn’t it?

10. We’re open to your suggestions about live chats for Club members only and things like that.

Click on the link below if you’d like to join us.

Thank you,

Roger

Uhhhh . . .

Sorry, Roger . . . paying continuity money (even cheap continuity money on a yearly basis) for vague promises of “additional stuff I find online” or “because it’ll help me keep this site up” ain’t gonna play in Peoria. Just ask NPR . . .they’ve been trying this tactic for years without too much success.

If you want to monetize the considerable amount of traffic, credibility and good will you’ve built up over the last several decades in the American consciousness, you’ve got to offer whopping  amounts of value above and beyond what the masses get for free.

Typically when I’m helping my clients craft offers (or doing it for my own products) I try to create a sense of value that has my customers feeling like they’re RIPPING ME OFF by buying from me  . . .

(Or getting at least 10 times the value out of my products as they’re putting in monetarily.)

Now, my real recommendation to Roger would be to “go to the well” and really think about what kind of “high value” stuff he could offer to his club members that the masses at large don’t get . . . Basically a wholesale rethink on his offer and the structure of his club.

This could mean re-purposing content by creating  audio or video versions of reviews and articles (Obviously, Roger has a challenge on the multimedia front since he lost his voice several years ago, but there’s no reason an assistant or staff member couldn’t do this) . . . writing additional “members only” content that has a high perceived value . .  .offering “writing tips” for aspiring writers, doing a “Ebert University” where he puts together a “curriculum” for aspiring film makers or film critics (though there’s precious little money in film criticism unless you’re . . uhh . . . Roger Ebert) and otherwise finding ways to monetize the vast amount of knowledge Roger has in his head.

But for this blog post let’s just focus on what he’s decided to offer and pick apart the way he’s presented it. As you’ll discover as we go through Roger’s pitch he’s made quite a few mistakes in his writing and the way he talks about his offer that are sure to drive the masses away in droves.

ASIDE: I also think Roger has  made a mistake in the pricing . . . and that he may actually make MORE sales with a higher price point (weird, I know . . . but $4.99 a year just wreaks of “I picked this price out of a hat and don’t really think what I have to offer is very valuable. No good.)

Now, obviously Roger’s doing a very soft sell here . . . he’s basically putting this out to his readership as a way to “maybe, if you want to, if you feel like it, help me out.”

That’s all well and good if you’re trying to “be nice” or don’t like asking for cashola  . . .  but let’s see if we can PUMP UP the selling power of what he’s got without descending too far into the fun and whacky world of hypes ville.

Let’s start with the open . . .

Dear Readers:

Most web sites generate less income than they cost to maintain. Mine is no exception. Because I want to preserve free access to the site, I’ve come up with an idea I’d like to run by you. I’m announcing The Ebert Club, which will offer a group of additional attractions and conveniences for members.

Membership in the club will not be expensive. Through March, we’ll have a special introductory rate of $4.99 for a year’s membership. After April 1, the price will shoot up to $5. No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. April 1 is the date I was appointed movie critic of the Sun-Times,
and I plan to live it up.

Problem #1: Roger’s opening this up with a “hat in the hand” pitch. Not to get too mean here, but this open reads a little whiny and lacks confidence (As any woman will tell you, confidence is sexy.) “My site doesn’t make any money. I need to find a way to make it make money or I’m going to have to make EVERYBODY pay.”

Problem #2: There’s really no implied or obvious benefit listed out in the open. At no point in these two paragraphs does he give any compelling reason why (or “What’s in it for me?”) for his prospective customer to latch onto.

I always say that “Marketing Is The Art Of Making A Promise And Keeping It” . . . but in order to do that you’ve got to make a promise in the first place. What’s the “reason why” folks should be downright excited about joining the Ebert Club? And no “Because you should feel guilty about getting my content for free” isn’t a good reason why.  People get a lot of content for free these days and if you try to guilt them into paying they’ll just go somewhere else.

The Fix . . . Make your open about the big problem that’s causing you to create this club in the first place, the big benefit to the prospect and the ridiculous deal they’re going to get.

Something along the lines of . . . (Have made an effort to keep this relatively “Ebertized” and low hype . . . not 100% happy with it but it shows you what I mean.)

Dear friend,

As a wise man once said “My loss is your gain . . .”

And in this case my (small) loss is going to lead to you gaining a lot . .

Here’s what this is all about . . .

You might not know this, but running a site like this is a stupidly expensive proposition . . .

In fact, in an average month the site loses about ($X) in bandwidth fees, hosting and other miscellaneous costs above and beyond what we pull down in advertising dollars.

While I love doing the site, “Paying to work” seems like a dodgy proposition to me.

So in order to keep my blog and website humming at the high-quality clip you’ve come to expect, I’ve decide to create an exclusive and limited “club” for my best, most loyal and most active readers . . . a way for you to get a higher and better level of access to me, to “see behind the curtain” on what it’s like to be America’s premier film critic and to get access to content that I simply don’t share with anyone else.

I’m calling this new group “The Roger Ebert Club” . . . and while I plan on keeping it quite affordable (for now) I’m also going to keep membership strictly limited to (X) number of people at this introductory rate.

You get the idea. The key here is to focus on what they’re getting (greater access etc.) to build exclusivity and scarcity and to generally make it seem “kind of cool” to be a member of the club. I dig the “April fools” joke from the original but feel like it takes the legs out from under Roger in his pitch. Notice that I took away the “I’m thinking of doing” language as well as the bit about “features and attractions” . . . that’s good “film language” but it doesn’t do much to pull in the fans.

Let’s move on to Roger’s bullets . . .

Your membership benefits will include:

1. The site’s RSS/Newsletter feed, which Includes quick clickable links to all my new reviews and other site content. (Full disclosure: This will also continue to be free).

Big mistake: You always want to open up with your most compelling and most powerful benefits . . . the bits that are going to get people to stand up and take notice. In this case, Roger’s leading with a “feature” that’s already free, that’s going to continue to be free and that really isn’t a piece of the “Ebert Club” at all. Your first bullet or “attraction” as Roger calls it sets the tone for the rest of your pitch . . . I’m willing to bet that a lot of potential converts click off the page after reading this bullet since it’s so weak.

The fix: Delete this bullet entirely. It’s a waste of space and shoots you in the foot before you even get started.

2. Quick links to my Special Pages for Twitter. These are free-standing web pages I create on the spur of a notion.

3. Quick links to new postings on Roger Ebert’s Journal and Jim Emerson’s Scanners.

Big Mistake: In both of these, Roger is focusing 100% on a “feature” (what it “is”) as opposed to a benefit (what it does FOR ME as a reader.)

Personally, I don’t really care about “links” I’ve got plenty of “links” in my life already. Roger’s job in this case is to translate these features into tangible, dimensionalized benefits that I can quickly grasp . . .

Soo . . .

The fix . . .

2. Quick links emailed to your inbox to my special pages for twitter. These are pieces of content and insight that I create “on the fly” during the work day on any number of topics that strike me .  . . as a Ebert Club member, you’ll have access to these content pages pushed directly towards you without having to sort through an endless stream of “noise on Twitter” and without having to take “surfing” time away from your busy day.

3. You’ll also get instant links to new posting on my Roger Ebert’s Journal blog or Jim Emerson’s Scanners. That means you’ll be the first to hear when a new blog post is put up . . . will have “first shot” at commenting on the blog post (and the bragging rights that go with it).

Notice how I use “that means” in the copy above. It’s a pretty simple mechanism but it forces you to actually spell out what’s in it for the customer instead of relying on them to do the math themselves. (They won’t.)

Let’s move on . .

4. Selected @ebertchicago, winnowed to improve the signal to noise ratio. All the joys of following my Twitter stream, from the comfort of your inbox.

Not terrible. Again, I’d pump up the benefit here . . .

4. You’ll get selected and edited “@ebertchicago” twitter messages sent directly to your inbox . . . that means you’ll get just the “good stuff” from my Twitter stream without the typcial noise or “@replies” that can slow down your reading or enjoyment of the content (and that non-members will have to continue to muddle through.)

Notice again, it’s just about spelling out why this is an actual benefit to the reader. Like with a lot of this stuff, I think that what Roger is really offering is too “weak” to build a program around, but if its what he’s going to use, it’s what he’s going to use.

5. A private discussion thread for Club members. This will resemble one of the comment threads on my Journal, but its URL will be made available to members only.

6. The Web Report: Unexpected and delightful web discoveries. I find links myself. Readers send me amazing pages. As a club member, we will not bother you with anything dumb.

7. Occasional Special Pages for club members only.

OK, this is where he starts to actually get to some meat. It’s not great meat, but it’s definitely better than what’s come before.

First off, I’d recommend that Roger lead with these three pieces of content since they’re actually compelling, exclusive and different than what everybody else is already getting for free. “special twitter links” is nice and all, but it’s not going to get me to take my credit card out.

Here’s how I’d rewrite it (and remember, these would be the lead bullets not the stuff we’ve got above.)

Membership Benefit #1: Exclusive Access To the Ebert Club Private Forum . . . As a charter member of the Ebert Club, you’ll have exclusive access to my new Ebert Club private forum. This will be built on the same structure and technology used to power the existing forums, but that’s really where the similarities end. I’ll be personally monitoring Private Forum discussion threads, replying to interesting comments throughout the day and giving a level of personal attention to this forum that I simply can’t do to the “Public” forum on the site. Plus, since it’s a “pay to play” forum the level of discussion and the commitment of the people involved will be worlds higher than the already high standards set on my “regular” forum.

Membership Benefit #2: Roger Ebert’s “Web Report” . . . Every day I receive unexpected and Delightful web discoveries from readers around the world . . . or I just stumble onto amazing stories or resources as I surf the web in search of information or research. As a Ebert Club member, I’ll share the “best of the best” of my web discoveries with you . . . stories that will thrill you, chill you or perhaps even just drive you to a rage. And I promise you here and now that I’ll never (ever) send you anything time wasting or dumb (I’m not your crazy aunt.)

Membership Benefit #3: Special “Members Only” Pages, Content And (Yes) Even Reviews . . . This won’t happen every week, but on a regular basis I’ll be sending Ebert Club members content, pages and even reviews (though typically not of movies) that simply won’t be available to anyone else. What kind of content? Well, how’d you like to read (EXAMPLES OF WHAT KIND OF CONTENT ROGER WOULD BE SENDING AND WHY IT’S AWESOME).

Ahh, see, now I feel like we’re getting somewhere. Finally we’ve got something we can latch on to and create actual benefits out of . . . stuff that’s easily worth $5 a year and possibly worth quite a bit more.

Let’s check out the last few bullets that Roger has . . .

8. Advance notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale. The festival sells out early every year. At Ebertfest, I’ll hold a meet-and-greet for club members.

9. You will be helping enormously to support this web site. Well, that’s worth something, isn’t it?

10. We’re open to your suggestions about live chats for Club members only and things like that.

Hmm. 8 is interesting since it’s a “insider access . . .cut the line” benefit. I’d rewrite it as something like this . . .

Membership Benefit #4:”Member’s Only” Advance Notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale . . . If you’ve tried to attend my Ebertfest film festival in previous years you know that we ALWAYS sell out (often weeks or even MONTHS in advance.) As a “Ebert Club” member, you’ll be able to “cut the line” and  grab your tickets to my highly-rated festival before the rest of the world even knows it’s time to get in line.

I’m going to skip 9 for a second (that feels like it should be a P.S. to me . . . and go right to 10 which I feel like could be pumped up a lot . . .

Membership Benefit #5: You’ll Have “My Ear” About additional content and access throughout the year . . . Have an idea for a “Live chat” where we discuss your favorite movie or genre? Wondering on my thoughts on a pop culture phenomenon? As a Ebert Club Member you’ll essentially have “my ear” and will be able to suggest pieces of content or ways of interacting with me above and beyond what we’ve already talked about here. My goal is to make membership in the Ebert Club a “no-brainer” . . . and letting you tell me what you really want out of this group seems like the best way to make this an easy choice for you to make.

Hmm. Not too bad for a rush job.

That brings us to the close and the PS (which I’m going to create out of his 9th bullet.)

Roger’s current close is an offhand . . .

Click on the link below if you’d like to join us.

Thank you,

Roger

Which is nice and all, but doesn’t exactly light the world on fire.

Here’s what I’d try . . .

“Sounds amazing Roger and I’d love to join, but how much does it cost?”

Good question.

Though I think the real question you should ask yourself is how much is a membership in an exclusive club like this truly worth to you?

What’s it worth to you to have this level of access? To be able to raise the bar of conversation? To be able to really take part in the discussion of what’s going on in film, media and politics today?

Is it worth the cost of a cup of coffee?

For a limited time, I’m offering charter membership in my “Ebert Club” at ridiculously low cost of just $4.99 . . . for a full year.

Honestly, that’s probably (much) to cheap. And I fully expect that I’ll have to raise the price (by a factor of 2, 3 or more) in the near future.

But right now this is an experiment . . . so you’ve got a chance to get in on the “ground floor” much cheaper than everyone else will have to pay in the not distant future.

Oh, and as an added bonus, if you take advantage of this offer before “Date” you’ll also receive a special “Ebert Club Charter Member” badge that will display next to your name in the regual Roger Ebert forums. That will let everyone else know that you’re a member of the club . . . and, frankly, will give you bragging rights no one else can claim.

To join, simply click the link below and enter your credit card information. You’ll be charged just $4.99 for the full year . . .and will begin to experience the benefits immediately.

Thanks for your support, and I look forward to seeing you on the Member’s only forum . . .
Yours,

Roger Ebert

P.S. There is one benefit to membership that I really haven’t mentioned here. It unpopular to talk about “altruism” in America these days, but by joining today you’ll be taking a massive step towards helping me keep this site up and free and running. That shouldn’t be the main reason you join (I firmly believe that if you give me money, you should receive massive value in return) but do know that you’ll have my personal thanks for stepping up and helping me “keep the lights on” on this site . . . In fact, I have several “bonuses” I haven’t discussed here that I plan on sending your way as my thanks.

Ahh. Not bad. Some mystery about the bonuses. Some good price justification that puts the $5 in perspective (toooooo cheap) and even some turbulence that makes them think about how they’ll kick themselves if they have to pay more in the future.

OK, now that we’ve gone this far, let’s put the whole thing together in a form we can actually read . . .

Dear friend,

As a wise man once said “My loss is your gain . . .”

And in this case my (small) loss is going to lead to you gaining a lot . .

Here’s what this is all about . . .

You might not know this, but running a site like this is a stupidly expensive proposition . . .

In fact, in an average month the site loses about ($X) in bandwidth fees, hosting and other miscellaneous costs above and beyond what we pull down in advertising dollars.

While I love doing the site, “Paying to work” seems like a dodgy proposition to me. Besides, my wife doesn’t like it  when I throw money away unless it’s on something that directly benefits her.

So in order to keep my blog and website humming at the high-quality clip you’ve come to expect, I’ve decide to create an exclusive and limited “club” for my best, most loyal and most active readers . . . a way for you to get a higher and better level of access to me, to “see behind the curtain” on what it’s like to be America’s premier film critic and to get access to content that I simply don’t share with anyone else.

I’m calling this new group “The Ebert Club” . . . and while I plan on keeping it quite affordable (for now) I’m also going to keep membership strictly limited to (X) number of people at this introductory rate.

Here’s just a small sample of what you’ll get when you become a Charter Member of the Ebert Club Today . . .

Membership Benefit #1: Exclusive Access To the Ebert Club Private Forum . . . As a charter member of the Ebert Club, you’ll have exclusive access to my new Ebert Club private forum. This will be built on the same structure and technology used to power the existing forums, but that’s really where the similarities end. I’ll be personally monitoring Private Forum discussion threads, replying to interesting comments throughout the day and giving a level of personal attention to this forum that I simply can’t do to the “Public” forum on the site. Plus, since it’s a “pay to play” forum the level of discussion and the commitment of the people involved will be worlds higher than the already high standards set on my “regular” forum.

Membership Benefit #2: Roger Ebert’s “Web Report” . . . Every day I receive unexpected and Delightful web discoveries from readers around the world . . . or I just stumble onto amazing stories or resources as I surf the web in search of information or research. As a Ebert Club member, I’ll share the “best of the best” of my web discoveries with you . . . stories that will thrill you, chill you or perhaps even just drive you to a rage. And I promise you here and now that I’ll never (ever) send you anything time wasting or dumb (I’m not your crazy aunt.)

Membership Benefit #3: Special “Members Only” Pages, Content And (Yes) Even Reviews . . . This won’t happen every week, but on a regular basis I’ll be sending Ebert Club members content, pages and even reviews (though typically not of movies) that simply won’t be available to anyone else. What kind of content? Well, how’d you like to read (EXAMPLES OF WHAT KIND OF CONTENT ROGER WOULD BE SENDING AND WHY IT’S AWESOME).

Membership Benefit #4:”Member’s Only” Advance Notice of Ebertfest tickets going on sale . . . If you’ve tried to attend my Ebertfest film festival in previous years you know that we ALWAYS sell out (often weeks or even MONTHS in advance.) As a “Ebert Club” member, you’ll be able to “cut the line” and grab your tickets to my highly-rated festival before the rest of the world even knows it’s time to get in line.

Membership Benefit #5: You’ll Have “My Ear” About additional content and access throughout the year . . . Have an idea for a “Live chat” where we discuss your favorite movie or genre? Wondering on my thoughts on a pop culture phenomenon? As a Ebert Club Member you’ll essentially have “my ear” and will be able to suggest pieces of content or ways of interacting with me above and beyond what we’ve already talked about here. My goal is to make membership in the Ebert Club a “no-brainer” . . . and letting you tell me what you really want out of this group seems like the best way to make this an easy choice for you to make.

Membership Benefit #6: Special “Edited” Versions of my @EbertChicago Twitter Stream and “Pushed To You” Access to new posts on my and Jim Emerson’s Blog . . . You’ll also receive a special “edited” version of my notoriously busy twitter stream . . . with all the noise, chaff and @replies removed so you can get to the “good stuff” right away . . . plus we’ll email you immediately whenever I make a new post on the blog so you can be the first to read the new content . . . and the first to weigh in with your comments or ideas before the masses even have a chance to know something new has gone up.

“Sounds amazing Roger and I’d love to join, but how much does it cost?”

Good question.

Though I think the real question you should ask yourself is how much is a membership in an exclusive club like this truly worth to you?

What’s it worth to you to have this level of access? To be able to raise the bar of conversation? To be able to really take part in the discussion of what’s going on in film, media and politics today?

Is it worth the cost of a cup of coffee?

For a limited time, I’m offering charter membership in my Ebert Club at ridiculously low cost of just $4.99 . . . for a full year.

Honestly, that’s probably (much) too cheap. And I fully expect that I’ll have to raise the price (by a factor of 2, 3 or more) in the near future.

But right now this is an experiment . . . so you’ve got a chance to get in on the “ground floor” much cheaper than everyone else will have to pay in the not distant future.

Oh, and as an added bonus, if you take advantage of this offer before (Date) you’ll also receive a special “Ebert Club Charter Member” badge that will display next to your name in the regular Roger Ebert forums. That will let everyone else know that you’re a member of the club . . . and, frankly, will give you bragging rights no one else can claim.

To join, simply click the link below and enter your credit card information. You’ll be charged just $4.99 for the full year . . . and will begin to experience the benefits immediately.

Thanks for your support, and I look forward to seeing you on the Member’s only forum . . .

Yours,

Roger Ebert

P.S. There is one benefit to membership that I really haven’t mentioned here. It’s unpopular to talk about “altruism” in America these days, but by joining today you’ll be taking a massive step towards helping me keep this site up and free and running. That shouldn’t be the main reason you join (I firmly believe that if you give me money, you should receive massive value from me in return) but do know that you’ll have my personal thanks for stepping up and helping me “keep the lights on” on this site . . . In fact, I have several “bonuses” I haven’t discussed here that I plan on sending your way as my thanks.

And there you have it.

Now, there’s still changes I would make (I’d have a proper headline and subhead . . .I’d probably raise the price  . . . I’d think of other benefits that could be pushed in like discounts to movies, a sponsorship deal with Netflix etc. But you get the idea.)

Comments? Bring em on.

OK, this is “Meta” . . .

I put this video together for the “PLM” section of my site.

See, ever since I hung out my shingle as a “Product Launch Manager” I’ve been getting a LOT of inquiries/quote requests/marriage proposals.

So I put this video together to “Turn down the flow” a bit and keep folks that I just can’t take the time to work with from getting in touch with me in the first place.

There’s a few “mumbles” in the vid, but overall it’s a good example of how you can use Keynote and a cheap mic to put something relatively “pro” together really quickly.

In fact, the techniques I use here are a large part of what Andy Jenkins is talking about in his “Video Boss” launch.

You can find the “real” version of this video on the PLM section of this site. Enjoy.

Here's a quick "reversal" that will let you come up with killer Pre-Launch Content Fast

Recent, maddening conversation I had with a potential launch client (Facts have been changed to protect . . . nobody. But facts are kind of boring for a blog intro so let’s be light and  funny instead. We’ll get to the “meat” in a second) . . .

Me: “Um, what are these videos you emailed to me?”

Him: “Those are our pre-launch content.”

Me: “These are your pre launch content?”

Him: “Yeah.”

Me: “Uhh. .  . but it’s just video of you wearing funny superhero boxer shorts and screaming the lyrics to ‘Thriller’ in Spanish. On a pogo stick.’”

Him: “I know, awesome, right!”

Me: “Not awesome. Bouncy and strange and sexually exciting. But not awesome. Your prelaunch content is supposed to SHOCK AND AWE your market and prime the pump for the sale.”

Him: “This is shocking.”

Me: “Wrong kind of shocking.”

Him: “But you’re in awe.”

Me: “I’ve never seen anyone do that with a pogo stick.  I never WANTED to see anyone do that with a pogo stick. I mean . . . where does the handle go?”

Him: “What handle? Anyway, what do I do instead?”

Me: “Great question. Read after the jump to find out. (Super sneaky launch-content creation trick.)

Big Fact: The quality and “shock and awe” value of your pre-launch content is one of  the single most important factors in the success of your launch.

If your launch content ROCKS you’ll have your prospects hot, ready and eager to pounce on your offer like a Cougar at a frat party . . .

What kind of cougar did you THINK I was talking about?

And if you’re launch content SUCKS . . . well, you could always go back to your career as rent-by-the-hour ventriloques dummy (growth industry in this economy, really.)

Unfortunately, a lot of marketers (heck, a lot of product launch managers) totally fall down on the job of coming up with compelling, attention grabbing content.

They sort of jot some random notes down on a napkin, fire up the old flip cam, ramble on inanely for a while and then get REALLY freaked out when their launch crashes and burns (and when the big JVs they seduced into mailing keep talking about “Cousin Tony and his friends” coming to visit.)

Your pre-launch content (especially your first piece) is basically the “Headline” of your launch . . .

And just like a headline on a sales letter it’s got to SEIZE YOUR PROSPECTS BY THE EYEBALLS and infiltrate the conversation already going on in their mind. (Good Marketers are psychic. Really.)

Now, there are a LOT of ways to brainstorm pre-launch content ideas  . . .

• You can survey your list, find out what the biggest questions or problems in your niche are and create a piece of content that solves that problem . . . (HINT: Easy pieces of software, done for you forms, samples of your product and stuff that “does something” makes really good pre-launch content. Great way to give your prospects results in advance too.)
• You can get on the phone with smart marketers and bandy ideas back and forth like a raquette ball (I’ve had the pleasure of doing this with Jeff Walker a couple times and found it to be really fun.)
• Or you can . . I donno, wing it.

But one of my favorite ways to come up with “bullet proof” and really solid pre launch content that ACTUALLY WORKS is what I call the “Copy first, Content last” trick.

To do this trick you’ve basically gotta THINK LIKE A COPYWRITER (which is too bad, because we’re weird folks.)

Here’s the trick:

Instead of slaving away on your pre-launch content, writing a script, shooting 5 different versions of a video (one of which is strangely reminiscent of Madonna doing “Vogue” on MTV) or just kind of winging it . . .

And  THEN writing the JV emails that are going to promote your content, you basically flip the whole process on it’s head.

So before (maybe WAY before) you start working on your pre-launch content, sit down and write the email that’s going to promote it.

What’s cool about this is that it really focuses your mind on the task at hand and makes you ask yourself the question . . .

• What’s going to make my market stand up, take notice and SALIVATE?
• What can I PROMISE my prospect that’s going to make it inevitable that they click my link, opt in and start tumbling down my sales process?
• What sharp, powerful “magic bullets” can I put in here that are going to grab my ideal customer and never let go?

If you try using this trick you’re going to find out really quickly how LIBERATING it is and how much it simplifies your thinking . . .

Why?

Well, for one thing, if you write the promo email first, you don’t have your half-thought-out, weak and lame piece of pre-launch content putting the breaks on the promises you can make . . .

And for another thing it puts you in a mindset where you’re focused on WHAT YOUR PROSPECTS WANT instead of WHAT YOU’VE GOT to give them.

Once you’re done, you’ll have a promo email that (hopefully) gets right into the mind of your ideal customer and makes a couple of big, ballsy, almost impossible to believe promises.

And then creating the actual content becomes the easy part.  All you’ve got to do is keep the promises and deliver massive value.

That might sound a little flippant, but let me tell you that after being at this “marketing thing” for a while, creating high quality content that gives your prospects what they really want isn’t that hard. (Seriously.)

Need an example?

OK, let’s pull something out of a hat and say we’re working on a launch in the REI (Real Estate Investing) space and that our product is a “How to get Private Money” product.

(Even if you’re not in REI at all you probably know that getting money from banks for real estate these days is REALLY hard. Which means the only way to get deals funded is to go to private individuals and companies who are willing to put cash in the kitty and go for a ride.)

Just for the fun of it, we’ll call our “Guru” in this case “Johnny ‘The Jackal’ Smith” . . .

And we’ll pretend I’m his JV in REI . . .

Subject: “They call him ‘The Jackal’” . . .

(Curiosity based subject line in this case. but there’s lots of other ways we could  go.)

Hi (NAME),

My friend Johnny “The Jackal” Smith just posted a video that shows you EXACTLY how to get an almost endless stream of funding for your real estate deals even in this crappy economy.

Check it out at LINK

(Another side note, generally these days you want to have a link to your squeeze page pretty darned close to the top of your email. There are exceptions where you’ll want to do more of a “story” email and build up to it, but for JV’s I almost always do it this way.)

If you’re salivating over all the hot real estate deals that are on the table and are driving yourself nuts because it seems so “hard” to get money to invest in them then you’re going to want to turn off the crackberry, shut down your email program and watch every second of this 7 minute video . . .

Why?

Because in this video Johnny “The Jackal” Smith reveals . . .

* Why having ready cash in a “down market” makes you “the Prettiest Girl At the Dance” . . . and how to use your “cash heavy position” to drive prices on properties down to the floor, leaving you with instant equity in ANY market.

* The “Bank Buster” technique Johnny used to raise over $30 MILLION in private equity in the last year alone (you know, when the economy was going down the toilet) . . .

* How to get big-money private investors to bend over backwards to fund you even if your credit sucks and if you’ve never worn a suit in your life . . .

PLUS Johnny actually GIVES YOU his personal “Never Get Screwed Private Money Checklist” . . . the exact document he fills out EVERY TIME he goes out to get funding to make sure the T’s are crossed, I’s are dotted and he ALWAYS comes out on top in a deal.

Johnny’s only keeping this up for a couple days so you should grab his stuff while you can.

Best,

Chris

P.S. Wondering why they call him “The Jackal?” Watch the video and it’ll  become REALLY clear.

LINK

P.P.S. My favorite part of this video comes at 4:37 where Johnny says three “magic” words . . . I can’t tell you what they are here but if you’ve been in the real estate game for a while they’ll blow your mind.

LINK

And there you go.

After just a few minutes of writing I’ve got a pretty good “roadmap” for what we need to create in our pre-launch content.

We need a video that lives up to some pretty ambitious bullets.

We need a “Never Get Screwed” checklist (easy to create) . . .

And we generally need to be honest.

Now, am I saying that if this were a “real” launch I’d  be 100% slavish to this process? Not at all. The email would definitely go through some revisions and we’d probably think of some great “other stuff” to pack into the content as well. . .

But this process definitely gets us started on the right foot  . . . and would make sure we never have “the pogo problem.”

Later

c

Special treat for all you copy critique fans today. Normally I do these videos “on my own” in my swank office with no feedback from the client in question. But this time I managed to get Robert Murgatroyd live on Skype and “rake him over the coals” for all of you to hear.

It’s a great chance for you to see what it’s like to work with a pro-level copywriter and “launch dude” one on one . . . and will give you some powerful tricks and tips to go through next time you’re planning your own sales page.

(Pay special attention to the types of questions I ask Robert and how much work I do trying to get to the heart of what his prospects want.)

He also chimed in on the Facebook version of this video to say:

“Holy cow… I really DO look pretty exhausted there. Much better 30 minutes later out by the pool after I had a Red Bull…

In any case BELIEVE what I said in the video. I literally saw Chris go through the creation process while working on a real launch under in a very pressure-filled environment… Chris has MAJOR skilz.”

I’ll be blogging about this event more in a day or two . . . but for now, check out this “behind the scenes” video where I ask a bunch of drunken MARKETING GODS what they got out of the training . . .

Plus I drag Jeff Walker himself ACROSS THE COALS and make him spill his biggest secrets =-)

Or something