Check out this weird little video I put together for you. It’s not about “marketing” exactly, but it will challenge a lot of ideas you might have about making money online.

Well, I MEANT to do a “quick little video” talking about my experience having Roger Ebert MURDER my blog with his tweet (not really.)

But then I rambled on a bit.

But in a good way.

Anyway . . .

In this video I cover . . .

* Why this whole experience had me feeling like Sara Palin at a bumper car convention (huh?)

* How to talk to a wall (and have the wall scream bloody murder back at you) . . .

* Long Copy Vs. Short Copy . . . (and why I’m a babble mouth.)

* Why folks who come LEAPING to Roger’s defense are actually insulting the hell out of him.

And more.

Check it out.

Eh, you didn't really want a pony anyway.

Quick little language hack today . . . let me know what you think:

Are you a “can’t” person?

I know I am (or at least I used to be . . . I’ve gotten a lot better over the last few years.)

Faced with challenging, unpleasant or “Scary” tasks or even opportunities I’d often find myself saying or thinking “Oh, I *can’t* do that. I’ve got to much to do/I don’t have time/etc.”

Which is really, uh, bullshit.

Because generally when I say I “can’t” do something (whether it be helping a friend move or dropping everything to go on a crazy, stripper-filled trip to Vegas) I don’t mean I “can’t” do it at all . . .

I mean that I won’t do it . . .

Or I don’t WANT to do it . . .

Or I’m SCARED to do it . . .

Or I don’t know HOW to do it . . .

Or, heck, I just have something else already on my calendar that I’d RATHER do.

But I just don’t want to take the actual responsibility of saying so.

(OK, there are certainly things in this world that I’m physically, mentally or emotionally completely incapable of actually doing. I will never dunk a basketball. I will never seduce a goat. OK, I probably COULD seduce a goat but I DON’T WANT TO . . ugh. What am I talking about again?)

If you think about it, you’ll probably realize that saying “I can’t do that” is a bit of a get out of jail free card (and a dangerous one at that.)

It’s a way of deflecting an ambition or a request without taking any personal responsibility at all . . .

(Heck, I’ve got an Aunt who holds onto the word “Can’t” like a particularly fuzzy and warm teddy bear, keeping her safe and free from actually having to break out of her comfort zone and really do something with her life. Harsh but true.)

So how about instead of saying you “Can’t” do something, you ditch the BS and just say what you actually MEAN . . .

So “I can’t help you move on Sunday” becomes “I don’t want to help you move on Sunday.”

“I can’t quit my job and start my business” becomes “I’m SCARED of what will happen if I quit my job and PETRIFIED to find out that I’m not actually good enough to make my crazy idea work.”

And “I can’t take 2 weeks off to go do yoga in Thailand because I have too much work to do” becomes “I’M REALLY LAME.”

Anyway, you get the idea.

I’ve been playing this game for a few weeks now and, honestly, it’s scared the bejeezus out of me. I’ve suddenly started noticing a LOT more areas of my life where I’m limiting myself or taking the “easy route” instead of going after what I actually want.

And I’ve started, inch by inch, to eliminate those areas, take some responsibility and live a bit more.

So, can YOU eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary?

Whatever you do, don’t tell me that you “can’t.”

Later.

Hey folks,

Something a little bit *different* today . . . (And kind of scary.)

In the video above I describe a simple exercise you can do to blast by negative thought patterns, focus on what you actually LIKE about yourself (and realize just how MUCH there is to like in the first place) and generally live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling and more awesome life.

Below you’ll find two documents that should compliment this video pretty well.

1. Text of the document I’ve got up on the screen during the video so you can play the “I Like Who I Am” game yourself.

2. Text of what *I* came up with when I played this game the first time for myself. A little bit “frightening” putting this sort of thing out there, but if you want to contribute you’ve got to go first.

I’d highly recommend you try playing the “I Like Who I Am” game yourself. (If the idea of playing the game scares you, that probably means you SHOULD play it. Doing things that scare you is a fast path to an interesting life.)

If you get something out of this, I’d be honored if you shared this video and idea with your friends, family, enemies etc.

And I’d be even more honored if you would share your thoughts or your own version of the “Game” in the comments below. =-)

——-
DOCUMENT TEXT FROM VIDEO:
——-
The “I Like Who I Am” Game . . .
(If you’re like me, this will be Scary)

Here are the rules:

1. Open up a document or piece of paper. Up at the top, write “I Like Who I Am”

2. Start typing. Write “I like (NAME). I really do.” and then start writing out things that you legitimately like about yourself in the third person. Treat yourself objectively.

3. Doesn’t really matter WHAT it is. Could be physical (“I like my eyes.”)

4. No “Wiggle Words” . . . (I like my body except for my thighs which suck).

5. Focus on the positive. Be HONEST. Even when it feels uncomfortable.

6. Write until you run out of things to say. Keep writing even if you’re uncomfortable.

7. Notice how it makes you feel.

8. Keep it to yourself, or share the whole thing with friends and see what they come up with. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can post what you come up with as a reply to this blog.

———
Chris’ First “I Like Who I Am” Game
———

“I like who I am.”

Which, you know what, I do.

I like Chris Haddad.

He frustrates me sometimes.

But I like him.

I like his smile . . . especially when it comes out for real. There’s something sort of joyful and bemused in there and a knowing glint in the back of the eye. And the dimple is really cute.

I like his brain . . . Chris says some of the WEIRDEST things of anybody I know. I sometimes wonder what it must be like in there with that much spark and activity going on.

I like the way he looks. He’s not model-quality handsome, but Chris is a good looking guy.

I like his body. He’s tall (but not too tall.) He’s in pretty good shape (with a little bit of a gut that he can suck in really easy.) He’s covered in fur but doesn’t seem to mind.

I like how talented Chris is. He has a hard time talking about it, but Chris is good at a lot of stuff. He plays hand drums like a mad man, makes up ridiculous songs, is VERY funny, is a heck of a writer and (this is more important) can often cut right to the core of what’s bothering someone and give them permission to be ok.

I like how much Chris cares. If anything, he cares too much. He spent YEARS tamping down his emotions but when he lets himself you can just see the empathy flow out of him. He gives some of the best hugs I’ve ever seen. If he thinks you’re in pain, he’ll grab on to you and won’t let go. There’s a whole storyline to a hug and Chris brings you through the whole thing.

I like Chris’ sexuality. Chris loooves women . . .but in a playful, goofy, fun way. Sometimes I think that Chris has a hard time really “Letting go” with women unless he feels really safe and taken care of . . . but he’s so into touch and pleasure and making people feel good that it’s pretty inspiring.

I like the quiet moments Chris has. I like funny chris, but I like him best when he lets that fall . . . when you see his face slack and open. When looks you right in the eye and you can see to that little boy who loves you.

I like how loyal Chris is to his friends. He’s not always there when you want him, but he is always there when you NEED him. Chris will bend over backwards and fold himself in half for a real friend.

I like Chris’ ENERGY. Standing next to him is like standing next to a live tesla coil. It’s really annoying sometimes when you want quiet, but sometimes I just hold space while he’s bouncing around next to me . . . it’s like a pack of hungry, goofy wolves are going to tackle you with hugs.

I like Chris’ darker side. He fights it so much, but sometimes that grinning evil comes out. And it’s not really that evil at all. If you dress it up in polka dots it’s not even scary. It’s just fun.

I like Chris’ hands. They are big and strong and made for kneading muscles, gently pulling hair, grabbing asses and making you feel safe.

I like how much Chris loves kids. He is a big bear of a man but is the best I’ve seen at relating to a 6 year old. If Chris ever has children, he’ll be a passionate father.

I like Chris in a crisis, when the goofiness fades away and he does everything he needs to to make things ok.

I like Chris’ pain. Chris has been through a lot in his life. And while I wish a lot of it hadn’t happened, it’s given him a priceless gift. Chris knows what it’s like to hurt and is really good at being there for people who are also hurting.

I like Chris’ wit. Chris thinks he’s dumb sumtimes . . . but he’s got a quick brain that does loops around most people.

I like Chris’ independence, but I wish sometimes that he was better at asking for help.

This is kind of a fun game. I might play it more later.

But the end result is that I really do like who I am.

And then I gave him “The Dance Analogy.”

It goes like this: Just having your contact info up there and assuming somebody will use it is a lot like walking up to a girl at your seventh grade dance and saying “dancing is fun.”

And then just standing there, waiting for her to do something and hoping your fly is zipped.

If you want to get out on that floor, you’ve got to ask. You’ve got to say “Do you want to dance?” and stand there and take the answer.

Otherwise, why did you show up in the first place?