It was "this" big . . .

Whew!

I rolled back into Seattle on Saturday night after a whirlwind (and drama-packed) trip to Stamford, Connecticut to speak at Ryan Lee’s “Continuity Summit” event . . .

This was my first “official” speaking engagement in the IM space (I’ve been a guest and on panels a bunch) and I gotta admit I was a little nervous about it.

Got lots of feedback saying I was the best presenter on Thurs (and one of the best of the weekend) . . .

Here’s some of the exhausting (and awesome) lessons I learned along the way . . .

1. No matter where I am in the country (or the world) no one will EVER be able to say my last name the right way. I recently decided to stop fighting the momentum and let people call me Chris “hah dahd” instead of the Massachusetts inflected (and nasally) “had Dad” (I had a Dad but now I don’t . .. ohhh, Morbid.)

I look artsy.

Ryan managed to go off into some new world of weirdness though by calling me Chris “hay Dad” before going up there. Ry is an East Coast boy so I was shocked. I give up. I’m changing my last name to “Smith.”

2. “Slow” Chris is still REALLY fast for most people. I pulled hard on the mental hand brake to try to keep my rate of speech at a level the crowd would be able to understand and my RAMPANT ADHD under control . . . but I was still burning through the content and rocketing through the funny (and inappropriate) at every turn. My buddy (and minion for the weekend) Mason told me he had lots of folks commenting on my SUPER SPEED deliver style even though he knew I was downright SEDATE up there. (I forgot to do it, but originally I was going to select someone from the audience and ask them to be my “speedometer” . .  .charged with waving their hands in the air any time I went too fast. Gotta include that next time.)

3. I opened up my talk asking the audience how many of them just LOVED writing copy . . . and a whole bunch of people raised their hands . . . In retrospect, I think most of them were lying. Or at least lying to themselves. They might like WRITING or creating “content” but I don’t think the bulk of the audience really understood how DEEP you have to go to create compelling copy . . . or how much “blood on the page” you end up leaving in your wake.

4. No matter how AWESOME you are, SOMEBODY is going to fall asleep during your presentation. Front row. Right side of the stage. Grey haired woman in glasses. I SEE YOU! (I actually cornered her later in the event and got a sheepish apology. Not really necessary . . . I mean, sheesh . . . I’ve completely ignored a TON of great presentations over the years. It’s just funny looking down while you’re dishing out the gold and seeing someone taking a siesta. Her neck must have been KILLING her when she woke up.)

5. BRING SOMETHING TO SELL . . . OUCH! At the end of the presentation I mentioned (in an offhand way) that I MIGHT put together some kind of program to teach more of my “Copy Thinking” stuff . . . and literally had people RUNNING across the room to give Mason their cards . . . Seems like a no-brainer but having a “box of stuff” to give people would have been a REALLY good idea . . .

6. I didn’t think it was possible, but you can yell “Sorry About Your Penis” at the top of your lungs in front of 400 people and not get one SINGLE complaint. (You had to be there.)

Live "Copy talking" on stage . . . turn off brain, open mouth, get applause.

7. Adrenaline is the absolute BEST cure for the common cold (and fever . . . and watery eyes. And general achy horribleness.) I was sick as a dog up there, but nobody noticed. Next time I get on stage I’m going healthy . . . and I’m not taking prisoners.

“Sounds Like Fun, Chris, But What Did You Teach Anyway?”

Good question! (You’re so smart!)

My presentation was on “Copy Thinking”  . . . and was about how to get the “Copywriting Mindset” and the ability to “think like a copywriter” even if you HATE writing and have nightmares about sharp 12 inch rulers and angry 5th grade teachers.

The first half of the presentation covered how to transform features into benefits almost automatically . . . the “emotional” secret of selling . . . how to use built in human “racism” to ethically increase your sales (seriously) . . . and my fun and profitable “Mind Bending Bullets” concept . . .

The second half was  all about SPEED . . . I’m probably the fastest copywriter working today (uhh . . . ADHD is fun) so I gave away a bunch of the tips and tricks I use to crank out the high-converting sales messaging and launch copy in shockingly little time.

And the third half (I’m bad at math) had me doing my “Copy Talking” monkey trick . . . Near the end of my presentation, Ryan hopped on stage, gave me a peanut and had me do a live “tear down” of a “Wedding Fitness” site . . . fun stuff . . . and I think the crowd was pretty shocked that I could just get the “word spew” going like that.

Anyway . . . Had a fun adventure on the way home with my luggage MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARING between Stamford and Detroit . . .

Rather than freaking out, I got eerily calm and nice, practiced non-attachment and wondered at the adventures my stuff might be going on. Somehow my bag trudged its way to Seattle all on its own and showed up on the luggage carousel in Seattle. No one can tell me how. WEIRD.

Dominic Canterbury and I will be rolling our “Top Ten Marketing Mistakes” class out again August 29th at Richard Hugo House here on Capitol Hill.

More info Here.

Just a reminder that I’ll be participating in 14/48, the world’s quickest theatre festival, tomorrow and Saturday as a writer. That’s right, you can see Haddonic whackiness spewing forth from the mouths of unsuspecting actors for just 15 bucks. More info at 1448fest.com

Check it out. It’s a goodun.

c

Lisa will be carving our little conversation into a podcast sometime after 7/4. Watch this space for details.

For the last ten days I’ve been putting in long hours playing “Roger Pipebomb” on the set of Cherub: The Vampire with Bunny Slippers. The show is sort of a “Guerilla Sitcom” mashing up parodied characters from Joss Whedon’s old vampire show “Angel” with a lot of monkees/f-troop/police squad kind of humor. In other words, it’s silly as all get out, exhausting to produce and probably some of the most fun I get to have. I wrote two episodes of the upcoming season and, as an actor, got to show up to work covered in oil, dressed as a pirate and wearing a massive Trump-style wig.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that somehow along the way I managed to contract a nasty case of strep throat. I got into the doctor today and am four pills through a shiny orange bottle of antibiotics, but let me tell you, trying to act chipper and charming on set when it feels like someone is stabbing you in the throat? Not so fun.

We should be getting press in Wired online and The Stranger over the next month and then season two launches just before July. Viva la revolucion! Viva Caution Zero!

And like I said, I’m exhausted. I feel like I’m about to fall right off this chair and curl into the fetal position for a six-hour nap.

Best part? I’m back on set at 6 tonight and will keep right on keeping on right through the weekend.

But there’s an upside. And that upside is this: When you’re acting in a film, you get lots of time to think. Granted, most of that time is spent thinking “Shoot, do I know my line?” and “Man, when is crafts services getting here?” and “I wonder if I look fat in this pirate costume.”

But sometimes, as you’re sitting there on take 15 trying your darnedest not to trip over your three each boots, you find yourself thinking something useful. Something like “Huh, on a film set you really have to pick and choose when you should make some sort of witty comment and when you should just keep your mouth shut. And that’s just like a marketing piece. That’s just like sometimes you’ve got to just clam up and let your prospect do what they need to do to make the sale.”

It was like an epiphany. Only shorter. And did I mention the pirate costume?

Stumped by the web? Wondering what you really need a website for anyway? Still think frames, flash and splash pages are a good idea? Join us on April 17th, 7PM (Location TBA) for a frank look the whacky world of the web and what it means to small business today.

This class has space for up to 20 members – rsvp required to into@biznik.com. Location TBA.