How To Use The “Green Eyed Monster” To Sell More Stuff
Hey folks,
While I was down in Sayulita, Mexico, I put together a short video talking about the power of ENVY for my friend and client Kevin Potts. It’s a pretty good video (and shows off the heart-stopping beauty of the place) so I figured I’d share it with you too.
Let me know what you think.
HWW #41 – Testimonials That Don’t Suck
Hi Folks,
Welcome back to the Hard Working Words Newsletter.
Usually I try to get this little missive out as close to the 15th
of each month as possible . . . but this month a little bit of
travel (I was down in San Diego hanging with Bob Serling, Jason
Moffat and others) and a whole lot of pain (the back pain fairy
spent this whole week chewing on my spine like an over-ripe melon)
conspired to make me late, late, late.
But I’m going to make up for it . . . .=-)
But first a little “Admin” . . .
=================================
Haddad Joins Twitter . . . World Trembles
=================================
Alright, I hid under my luddite bus as long as possible. About two
weeks ago I poked my head into the “Twitterverse” . . . and really
liked what I saw. Now I’m a twittering maniac.
If you’re into that newfangled “Web 2.0″ stuff you can follow me at
haddadink.com, you’re going to notice
two things in rapid succession . . .
1. My shiny, glowing head, artfully arched eyebrow and Mona Lisa
smile . . .
2. A testimonial from direct marketing superstar Jeff Paul saying
that my copy “Sucks In Cash Like A Nuclear Powered Vacuum Cleaner.”
Now, why would I put a testimonial from Jeff way up at the top of
my site, even before the headline?
Well, if you think about it for a minute, it’s pretty obvious. If
*I* open up my sales letter (or website or ad) bragging about how
great I am, I just sound like a egotistical git.
But if a client says it for me (especially a well known client)
then all those big promises are suddenly a heck of a lot more
believable.
In fact, the testimonials I’ve got up near the top of my page (from
guys like Jeff Paul, David Garfinkel, Harlan Kilstein, Jason
Moffatt and Michael Cage) do more to establish my credibility as a
marketer and copywriter, and to convince prospects to get in touch
with me than all the other copy on my site combined.
Not to be hypey, but good testimonials are marketing ROCKET FUEL .
. . they cut right through the “BS meter” of your prospect, and let
you obliterate objections with lightning speed.
Or at least they should.
But unfortunately, most of the testimonials you see out there in
the marketing wild . . . err . . . kind of suck.
They’re over-long, rambling and usually have no point at all . . .
plus they’re often banished to some never-read “testimonials page”
to die.
But in today’s article I’m going to give you a step-by-step process
you can use to get great, high-impact testimonials from your
customers every time.
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Where’s the Sizzle?
================
Legendary copywriter John Carlton has three basic rules for a good
testimonial:
1. Short
2. Specific
3. Sizzling
Here are two examples of short testimonials that John’s received
that follow his three rules:
” Who says crime doesn’t pay? John let me steal one of his
headlines for a seminar pitch… netting me a cool $251,771 in
just 3 days.”
“I study Carlton’s copy like a 14 year-old boy reads Playboy.
Completely dazzled, entranced and full of desire.”
Can you see how these testimonials POP off the page? In very few
words, they convey that John’s copy makes money (and a LOT of
money) and that the man knows a thing or two about stirring up
emotions. If you look at John’s marketingrebel.com site,
you’ll see that the whole damn page is covered in these kind of
testimonials . . .many of them from the big “gurus” of the online
marketing world.
(Actually, at a recent conference, John called this page his “wall
of testimonials.”)
And every one of those testimonials in another slat in the bridge
that makes you want to walk up to John and hand him your wallet.
Like I said, powerful stuff . . .
=====================================================
“OK, Chris, But How Do *I* Get Testimonials Like That?
=====================================================
Ahh, good question.
You see, when most people go testimonial hunting, they do it the
absolute *wrong* way . . .
They send out an email to a client or a customer and say “Hi, would
you give me a testimonial?”
And then they wait.
And then they wait some more.
And then, maybe after a little bit more waiting (and a few more
emails sent) they finally get a response . . . only to find that
the testimonial they received is long, boring and vague.
==============================================
So How Do You Turn A “Lame” Testimonial Into A Winner?
==============================================
Another good question.
The best way to get “awesome” testimonials is to . . .
1. Use powerful questions to lead your customers to give you what
you want.
2. Edit like crazy.
Now, in the age of Amazon testimonials and “Web 2.0″ it might sound
a little weird to say that you should “lead” your customers.
And I’m in no way suggesting that you should put words in their
mouth.
But the fact of the matter is that writing something (even
something as simple as a testimonial) scares the heck out of most
people.
So how do you conquer their fear, get past the vagueness and get
the “Power Testimonials” you need?
With “Testimonial Generator Questions.”
Here are just a few of the questions I send out to people when I’m
collecting testimonials for my products or the products of my
clients:
1. What problem were you facing that (our product) solved?
2. How much has (our product) increased your profits or income?
3. How much time or money has (our product) saved you?
4. Has (our product) made your life easier? How?
5. What did you like about (our product?) What do you like about
the experience of working with (our company?)
6. Were you pleasantly surprised by any part of your experience
with (our product?)
7. What did you find remarkable about (our product?)
8. What is the most important thing people should know about (our
product?)
9. Would you recommend(our product) to your friends, families or
co-workers? Why?
10. What part of your experience with (our product) makes you want
to do business with us again?
11. Other thoughts or comments?
Send out specific questions like these and you’ll be *shocked* how
many more of your customers are willing to give you powerful,
sales-producing testimonials.
Of course once you get the form back, your job is just half done.
That’s when we get to step two . . . editing!
Now, again, I’m not saying that you should alter or change what
your customer is saying in any way.
In fact, you want to keep the rhythm, the cadence and the style of
what your customers say as much as possible. After all, if every
testimonial on your site sounds the same, your customers will smell
a scam.
But you also want to help your customers to be their most succinct
and specific selves.
That means going through their responses to your questions, picking
out the most powerful bits and forming them into a new, probably
shorter and more powerful testimonial.
And then you put your new and improved testimonial under your
customer’s nose to make sure it passes muster.
The result?
Short, specific and sizzling testimonials that do wonders for your
credibility . . . and for your sales.
HWW #41 – Fuzz Scarcity
Chris “Mr. Moneyfingers” Haddad here with the June, 2008 edition of *your* Hard Working Words Newsletter.
I’m just back in HWW central after a long (and lovely) week out on the East Coast where I gorged on expensive Manhattan cuisine, got baked and burned while crossing the Brooklyn bridge and had the supreme (and supremely fun . . . I recommend it) honor of being the officiant at my good friend Mason Rabinowitz’s wedding to the absolutely *awesome* Cari Strand.
All of which has *nothing* to do with today’s brief (but powerful) topic. A little thing I like to call “Fuzzy Scarcity.”
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Fuzzy Scarcity
=============
If you’ve been studying marketing for any length of time you already know that *scarcity* is one of the most whoppingly powerful tools you can use to get your prospects to actually reach into their pockets and buy your stuff.
In fact, it’s so powerful that Robert Cialdini lists it as the 5th and final “Weapon of Influence” in his awesome book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” ( If you haven’t already, you really should read it) . . .
And pretty much every copywriting book or course out there *demands* that you include a level of scarcity in your sales letter or ad in order to tickle the back of your prospect’s brain, kill the “I’ll think about it” impulse, spur immediate action and justify a higher price.
Now, most of the time including a sales-popping level of scarcity in your promotion is pretty easy . . .
If you’re selling a widget, you’ve generally only got so many on hand . . .
If you’re selling a seminar, there really are only so many seats you can fit in a room . . .
And if you’re selling a service, there really *is* a limit on how many clients you can handle at any given time.
But what do you do if (as in the case when you’re selling a digital product like an ebook, an audio recording or a downloadable video) what you’ve got is essentially *unlimited?*
Well, that’s when you bring in what I like to call . . . Fuzzy Scarcity.
===========================
What The Heck Is “Fuzzy Scarcity?”
===========================
Fuzzy scarcity is where you create doubt and turbulence in your prospect’s mind by saying that while this fantastic deal at this fantastic price and with these mind-breaking bonuses *is* available right now . . . it *might* not be tomorrow.
You *might* decide to raise the price (maybe even *double* it) . . .
You *might* decide that that super-awesome “deal maker” bonus is just too damned cool . . .
Or you even *might* decide to take the whole shebang off the market forever after you make a certain number of sales just because that’s what you want to do . . .
The key here, of course, is to keep the terms of your scarcity “Fuzzy” and vaguely defined . . . and to make sure that you never, ever (ever) lie. (There’s a special, and rather well populated, corner of hell reserved for marketers who lie about this sort of stuff.)
===============
Need an example?
===============
Here’s some “riffing” copy that I came up with while I was at John Carlton’s “17 Points Of Copywriting Success” workshop a couple of months back. (Tangentially, that conference is where the whole “fuzzy scarcity” concept stopped being “fuzzy” and solidified nicely in my mind.)
This is for an ebook I’m working on called “The Ultimate Best Man Speech” and this copy will appear pretty far down the sales letter . . .
“Hey, listen . . . if you’ve read this far down this letter it shows me that you’re serious about learning how to do this right. . . and about giving a really kick ass best man speech at your buddy’s wedding.
And, if this is right for you, I want to make sure you get your hands on this info and put it into action.
But here’s the deal.
My friends who have gone through the “Ultimate Best Man Speech Guide” think I’m kind of a moron. They think I’ve gotten way too excited . . .
With the audio recordings, the “plug and play” wedding speech examples, the instant email access to me and all the other awesome bonuses, they think I’ve gone overboard.
And I’m pretty sure that I’m going to either cut this package WAYYYY down, or I’m going to basically double the price.
Not sure.
But I’m thinking about it.
So if you want to get the “Sweetheart deal” you should grab it now.”
Get it?
Now, of course, for Fuzzy Scarcity to work, you first have to convince your prospect that they actually *want* what you’ve got to sell . . . but once you do even just a *hint* that you might take it away from them (or that they might get an “unfair” deal that nobody else is going to get) will have them buying like crazy.
P.S. Obviously there’s a whole lot more to say on this topic ranging from how to use bonuses to create scarcity to the fact that for a certain segment of the market scarcity is actually a feature (why the heck do you think people buy diamonds?) but that’s all way beyond the scope of this brief article.
——
And that’s that.
Before I go, just a quick tip of the hat to the late, great George Carlin. I doubt he had much love for Copywriters or marketers, but damn that man knew language.
Remember, you can always leave a comment on the blog version of this article on the HWW Blog: http://www.haddadink.com/blog
See you in the funny papers.
Chris
Do You Feel What I Feel? How To Build Empathy Into Your Marketing
If there’s one thing I loved about the old 1990s Star Trek Series (the one with the Klingon and the bald guy and the robot who just wanted to be loved) it was the *three* comfy chairs that they had on the bridge.
I mean, in the “old school” Shatner series, there was just one chair. And Kirk sat there like a well coiffed King and lorded it over the rest of the crew.
But in “Next Gen” there were three chairs all crunched in next to each other.
One for the Captain.
On for the First Mate.
And one (and this is where this article starts to make sense) for the EMPATH.
Deanna Troi, the ship’s counselor, was a buxom half-alien brunette decked out in a rather daring jumpsuit.
And Picard kept her right there on his left side during tense negotiations, big battles and even dinner parties because she UNDERSTOOD people.
She knew what they were feeling.
She knew what they were going through. (Heck, she even had crazy alien powers that almost *made* her understand people.)
Now, if you know anything about these crazy creatures we call humans you know that what we all *really* want is to be understood.
In fact, one of the best ways to *calm* somebody down if they’re mad is to simply say “I understand your point of view. I went through something similar once and if I was going through what you’re going through, I’d feel the same way.” (I had a customer service guy do this one on me not so long ago and it worked like magic.)
And great salesmen know that if you can show that you UNDERSTAND the problems and the feelings that a prospect is going through, then you can radically increase your chances of making a sale. (Especially if what you’ve got to offer really is the answer to their dreams.)
But How Do You Use Empathy In Your Marketing?
After all, when you’re talking about a website or a video or a radio ad or a sales letter or whatever else, you’re not really there. It’s not like you can play off your prospect, pick up off their verbal and non verbal cues and figure out what they’re feeling.
One great way to establish empathy in your marketing is to tell a story about how you went through the same thing.
For instance, if you were selling a back pain remedy you would tell the story about how horrible and frustrating it was when you were wracked by back pain yourself.
You’d say something like:
I remember the last time my back really went out.
I was shuffling back to my apartment when I felt it. That sick little click in my lower back. Suddenly all the strength went out of my right leg and I felt that nauseous horror flow through my body. That dull, awful throb.
And, honestly, I just about broke down crying right there on the street thinking about what I knew was coming next. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars at the chiropractor. Endless hours stuck lying on my floor and staring at the ceiling. And that deep, deep feeling of frustration, anger and even shame at what I must have done wrong to deserve this.”
(I could go on. As you might be able to tell I’ve had my fair share of experience with back pain. Mostly better now though =-))
In fact telling “I’m just like you” stories is one of the core strategies for selling just about anything.
And no matter what you’ve got to sell, whether it’s financial advice, massages or crazy little widgets, you can probably think back to a time that you went through the same problem that your prospects are.
But What If You Can’t?
What if you’ve never experienced “that sick click?” (or whatever other problem is plaguing your customers that you’re going to solve.)
That’s when you use what I like to call “maybe bullets.”
They’re not the only way to throw empathy into your marketing, but they are one way and, in my experience, they work really well.
What’s a “maybe bullet?”
A “Maybe” bullet is a short statement that “paces” the feelings and emotions that your customer are going through and shows them that you UNDERSTAND them.
For instance, for a sales letter I wrote aimed at parents of children with ADD/ADHD I put the following “Maybe Bullets” way up early on the page:
Maybe your child has just recently been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and you’re smartly scouring the internet looking for sound, proven advice on how to manage or cure this problem and give your child all the advantages he or she deserves in life . . .
Maybe you’re an ADD/ADHD “veteran” who’s tried drug after overpriced drug and cure after ineffective cure, has seen the mounting body of evidence against pharmaceutical ADD/ADHD drugs and is worried sick about what this “bad medicine” is doing to your child.
Maybe you yourself are a teenaged or adult sufferer of ADD or ADHD searching for a way to find the concentration and focus you need . . . and are ready to finally say goodbye to the side effects, cost and danger of prescription drugs.
And then the letter goes on.
Now, these bullets aren’t expected to carry the full empathy load themselves. (And if you look at the website for this product at Treat ADHD Naturally you’ll see a lot more empathy building.)
But they are a great way of calling out nice an early that you UNDERSTAND where your customers are coming from, that you’re not just some soulless, heartless corporation and that maybe, just maybe, you’re in this for more than just the money.
Used properly, Maybe bullets (and empathetic copy in general) are the next best thing to actually listening to someone’s problems.
And showing them that you really do understand.
The Trap Of The High-Fallutin’ . . . Why You Should “Dumb Down” Your Copy For Increased Sales
Hi folks,
Welcome back to the HWW blog.
In today’s *big* first post of 2008 I’m going to reveal a super-simple method you can use to “dumb down” your copy for massively increased sales . . . Plus I will literally put my foot in my own mouth as I praise a feature of my *least favorite* software program.
(Tangentially, I hope you had a Happy Holiday and a Rocking New Year. I went on a whirlwind tour of the East Coast followed 3 days up at Whistler Mountain in Canada followed by about 4 days of excruciating pain back here in Seattle as my back decided that I’d had just about enough fun and that it was time for me to suffer. But enough of that . . . back to the point.)
Ok, quick quiz, what are the three big traits that your copy needs to have if it’s going to close a sale?
Think about it.
No, really, I mean it.
Done yet?
Ok, I’ll tell you:
Copy that closes sales and makes money absolutely *has to be* . . .
1. *Exciting*
2. *Persuasive*
And
3. *Simple.*
*Exciting* means that your copy needs to be compelling and even fun to read. Your reader should actually be *enjoying* herself as she slides down the slippery slope towards a sale . . .
*Persuasive* means that your copy needs to stack up emotional and logical arguments that make it just about impossible for your prospect *not* to buy what you’re selling . . .
And *simple* means that your copy is written in a way that you’re average semi-literate 7th grader could easily understand.
A lot of newbie copywriters and business owners who are writing their own stuff fall into what I call “the trap of the high fallutin’”
They pack their sales letters and ads full of jargon, 10 dollar words and weird, circular sentence structures all in a desperate effort to look smart . . .
And they completely fail to connect with their audience and *make money.*
My friend and mentor David Garfinkel turned me on to a great quote by Ernest Hemingway (who’s one of the *simplest* writers out there.)
Hemingway said: “I use the oldest words in the English language. People think I’m an ignorant bastard who doesn’t know the $10 words. I know the $10 words. There are older and better words which, if you arrange them in the proper combination, you make it stick.”
What Hemingway is saying here is that if you use shorter, punchier and more powerful words (and shorter words are almost always more powerful) you’ll make a much bigger *impact* on the mind of your prospect . . . and will have a much higher chance of making the sale.
Need another example? Think about George Carlin’s “7 Words You Can’t Say On Television” (This is a family blog, so I won’t type them out here.) or just think about swears in general. There’s a reason the “best” swears are all 4 letters long . . . and that’s because *short,* *simple* words have impact that *long,* *complicated* words utterly lack.
“But Chris,” I can hear you saying “My audience is full of Harvard MBA’s, brainiac tech heads and folks who wasted their youth getting a Masters in English Literature. Doesn’t that mean that I have to write in a ’smarter’ style?”
And the answer is “not even a little.”
No matter how specialized or (over)-educated your audience is, you’re still selling to *people* . . . and *people* respond to simple, conversational, persuasive prose.
Now, that doesn’t mean you have to write to the lowest common denominator . . . if you’re writing to a specialized group with their own common jargon that they use in their everyday speech, go ahead and throw it in . . . but make sure your copy is written in a simple, friendly way that actually engages your audience.
*OK, Here’s A Little Tip On How To Do This Simply*
Now, I *hate* Microsoft Word.
I think it’s a frustrating piece of bloatware that makes writing a heck of a lot harder than it has to be.
But there is *one* feature of MS Word that keeps me coming back to the program again and again no matter how hard I try to get away, and that’s the “readability index.”
This is a cool little tool that will help you get your copy tighter and more powerful . . . and that most folks just don’t know about.
To use it, open up word, and go to “Tools” at the top of your toolbar.
Then click “Spelling and Grammar.”
In the spell check box that pops up click “options.”
And then select the box under “Grammar” that says “check readability statistics.
After Word finishes checking your spelling and grammar, it’ll show you a handy-dandy little box explaining how “readable” your copy is.
And way at the bottom you’ll get a stat called the “Fleshsch-Kincaid Grade Level.”
What you want is for your grade level to be right around 6th or 7th grade . . . which means your average 12 year old could read your copy without being terribly confused.
(As a side note, the grade level on *THIS VERY BLOG POST* is a 7.8 . . . slightly higher than I’d like, but still pretty darned readable.)
So there you go. Now you know how to use my *least* favorite piece of software to make your copy simpler and more powerful . . . and to close more sales.
Later,
Chris “Mr. Moneyfingers” Haddad
30 Minutes Of Copywriting And Marketing Rocket Fuel
Dave Navarro just posted our 30 minute consulting call in full. I kicked Dave around pretty hard during our talk . . . and had him begging for more. You hear the call at:
And see what Dave has to say about the call himself at His Blog
If/Then/Why – How to define what you’ve *really* got to sell (and who to sell it to) in 2 easy steps.
The upside to my fancy new digs at Office Nomads is that I don’t spend nearly as much time alone in my home-office/prison with nothing but a giant goldfish to keep me company.
The downside is that it makes it a hell of a lot easier for mop-topped ski bums to sidle up to my desk and ask for free advice.
An old friend popped by today wondering how the hell he can figure out the perfect market for his product and cut to the core what the heck he’s actually selling.
I gave him some advice that made his eyes light up and his teeth to shine all bright and scary.
It’s phenomenally, almost-stupidly simple advice, and I’m going to share it with you right now.
Here’s what I told him to do:
If you’ve spent any time reading great sales letters and marketing copy, then you’ve probably noticed that one particular open tends to pop up again and again and again. In fact, this is kind of the “fall back”
opening sentence that greats like John Carlton, Gary Halbert, Brian Keith Voiles, David Garfinkel and a raft of others call on when they’re first cracking into a letter and putting their magic “moneyfingers” to work.
What is it?
The classic “If (problem or desire) then this is going to be the most important letter you ever read.”
For instance:
“If you’ve ever wanted to drive a golf ball with the explosive force of a howitzer cannon . . . ”
“If you have any interest at all in putting the real power of online video to tremendously profitable use for your business. . . ”
“If you have high blood pressure and are sick of the drugs, the pain and the fear . . ”
It’s an amazingly versatile way to get your letter going and to mark out to your prospects that what you’re selling is really for them.
But if you turn it on its head, the old “If, Then” open is a phenomenal way to help you figure out what you’re really selling and who you really should be selling it to.
Here’s what I told my ski bum buddy (and what I’m going to tell you too).
If you’re having trouble figuring out your market, your offer or what’s really unique about what you’ve got to sell, just play a little fill in the blank.
“If you’re a (BLANK) who wants to (BLANK), then this will be the most important message you ever read.”
Don’t over think it. Don’t try to get fancy. Just very calmly fill in the blanks.
Fill up a whole page with possibilities. Have fun with it.
And, as you go, be as specific as you can.
Who is this really for?
Who is this really important to?
So saying “If you want to make more money, this will be the most important message you ever read.” won’t get you anywhere. It’s too broad, weak and limp and applies to everybody.
But saying “If you’re a mom who’s sick of leaving your kids with a stranger every morning and wants to make $3,000.00 a month like clockwork while working from home and having plenty of time to give your kids the love and attention they deserve, this will be the most important message you will ever read.” is a heck of a lot better.
The key is to be specific to the point that you come up with something that calls out to your market in a way where they almost have to raise their hands.
Something so powerful that it makes them feel like you walked into a crowded room and just shouted their name.
And now here’s the fun part. Once you’ve got your If/Then statement, write down the why.
Why is this message going to be so important? What amazing result are you going to deliver to them? What does your product do that will make just learning about it so darned valuable to your prospects?
Now, this post really isn’t about writing copy. It’s about getting your product, your target and your position super clear in your mind.
And it’s a little trick that you can use right now to drastically cut down the time it takes to define your market, figure out what your product does and come up with an almost-stupidly powerful message that your target market just can’t resist.
The comment key is right there. What’s your If/Then/Why?
HWW #34 – Phil Collins is a Big Hairy Ape
Just got back from Ken McCarthy’s System Intensive in Vancouver,
Canada. Really it was just an excuse to get up North for the
weekend . . . and for my friend Katie to have her car broken into
by some wiley Canucks. Beautiful city, though, check it out if you
get the chance.
In this issue:
* How to take your solo business from struggle to six figures in
six months or less.
* Phil Collins is a Big Hairy Ape
=========================
How To Take Your Solo Business From Struggle To Six Figures In Six
Months Or Less
=========================
Beth Yockey-Jones and I are on a mission to help indie pros and
solo small business folks crack the six figure mark and join the
ranks of the upper lower middle sideways class.
But to do it right, we need your help. If you’re a solo pro (no
teeming offices full of pouty-faced employees) do me a favor and
pop over to . . .
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=N69PCmnuewj2N0Is_2bEBqGg_3d_3d
. . . and fill out our handy dandy survey. I don’t have anything
to bribe you with, but if you help us you can feast on the
satisfaction of a job well done.
========================
Phil Collins Is A Big Hairy (Expensive And Ineffective) Monkey
========================
I love Phil Collins.
Love him.
I mean, I know it’s not cool to say . . . but ever since I first
saw Genesis’ “Land Of Confusion” video back in 1986, I’ve been an
un-ironic fan.
Something about a Ronald Reagan puppet slamming the “Big Red
Button” and triggering nuclear annihilation on a global scale just
warmed the cockles of my then nine-year-old heart . . . and sent me
bounding around the house like a dangerous ADD-addled cyclone.
(To this day, all I have to do is hum a few bars of that cold war
anthem to make my poor mom shiver, twitch and curl up in the fetal
position to cry.)
So when I was sitting in a Vancouver movie theatre on Friday and
heard the first couple lines of Phil’s “In The Air Tonight”, my
ears perked up.
What followed over the next two minutes was one of the coolest
little bits of viral video I’ve ever seen. . . and a *really,
really, really bad ad.*
You see, on Friday that whole roomful of pantsless Canadians and I
(as far as I can tell, Canadians always wear t-shirts and shorts,
even when it’s bitterly, bitterly cold) watched in rapt attention
as a thick-fingered ape pounded out the beat to Collins’ 1981
classic.
It was a heck of a piece of filmmaking. The camera focused in close
on the monkey’s flared nostrils. It glided up his cheek to see the
intensity in his eyes. And then it pulled back just in time for the
big “DU-BBA . . .DU-BBA . . .DU-BBA” bit that kicks off the song
proper.
Me and the whole crowd? Just quiet and shocked. Watching that
weirdly real-looking ape work the high hat, pound on the skins and
keep time better than most modern rock drummers was literally
*dumbfounding.*
But as an ad? It *sucked.*
Why? Because that big ape with the drum sticks has been stuck in my
brain for *days* now . . . but 20 seconds after the ad flickered
off the screen I couldn’t remember what the hell it was supposed to
be selling.
Because *It Wasn’t Selling Anything At All.*
Now, I can imagine the pitch meeting where some cool-glasses
wearing creative type laid out the “strategy” behind this thing
(“Well, you see, the Ape is experiencing Joy and our tag line is
that Cadbury creates Joy.”) . . . and I bet the suits at Cadbury
(theoretically this ad is supposed to be selling Cadbury . . .um. .
.pudding? I’ve seen the ad three times and I’m still not quite
sure.) are *ecstatic* at the reception they’re getting from their
golf buddies. I mean, heck, people have seen the ad! People are
talking about their monkey!
*But in ground level marketing reality this is a tremendous flop
and a phenomenal waste of money.*
In direct marketing, there’s a really simple ad-writing formula
called “AIDA.” It stands for “Attention, Interest, Desire and
Action” and is a basic map most copywriters and real marketing
folks use when trying to close a sale. You get attention, develop
interest, create desire and then ask for action. It’s simple and
effective and has been used to sell *billions* of dollars of
information and stuff over the years.
Just for fun, let’s apply the AIDA test to our drumming ape.
Now, for me at least (and most of the Canadian crowd at the movies
on Friday) this thing did a *great job* of getting my attention. I
mean, heck, it’s an ape drumming along to Phil Collins. What more
do you need.
And for it’s full 2 minutes, the ad kept my interest.
But desire? Action? Uh uh. The only *desire* I had after watching
this thing was to listen to some old Genesis records . .. and the
only action I took was to store the experience away in my brain to
rant about on Monday morning.
Now, I can hear the ad weasels on my list grumbling and
complaining, saying that this wasn’t a direct response ad and was
just meant to “Build the Cadbury brand.”
But even by that weak, weak argument (in my opinion *all* ads
should be designed with a set response in mind) this thing is an
utter failure. Why? Because a drumming monkey doesn’t have a damn
thing to do with chocolate and never will.
=============================
OK, Haddad, You Don’t Like The Ad, But What’s The Lesson Here?
=============================
Just this: There’s a big lie put out there that you can *entertain*
people into buying your stuff. And there’s a sliver (just a sliver)
of truth to that. If you’re entertaining enough people *might*
stick around to hear what you say. But that doesn’t give you a pass
to ignore *basic* salesmanship. The fact of the matter is that
Cadbury has spent *millions* producing this ad and buying space to
show it off . . . and that they probably aren’t going to make a
single additional sale of their stuff ( . .um. . . what the hell
were they selling again?) because of it.
You can check out the drumming monkey (in all his dumbfounding,
ineffective glory) at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0-aIms6oKY&watch_response
And if you want to see a company that really *gets* how to use
entertaining video to sell its stuff, head on over to
http://www.willitblend.com/
Blender + iPhone + Good Kitschy Production values = a blender
selling powerhouse.
And that’s it folks. You can find more on the Hard Working Words
Blog at http://www.haddadink.com/blog
Happy Thanksgiving.
c
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©2007 Haddad Ink. Copywriting Services. All Rights Reserved.
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Happy New Years and a Lesson Learned At a Funeral
Hey folks,
First off, happy new years. I hope your 2006 kicked all sorts of ass, and if it didn’t, well, you get to start all over again.
I’m just back to the desk and shaking the cobwebs off my fingers after a wild and whacky holiday East Coast tour. I hit New York City, New Haven Connecticut (which is charming no matter what the crime statistics say) and ended up celebrating Christmas back in Massachusetts.
Oh, and I also got to go to a funeral and learn a little marketing wisdom along the way.
You see, the Friday before Christmas, my great Aunt Loretta died. She was a sweet 95-year-old lady with a distrust of men and an irrational love of her stuffed kitten, “Baby.” And she passed of nothing much more than living too much life for her old body to take.
The funeral was on Tuesday. My mom and I got to the church a little early and while shuffling heel to heel in the lobby I looked up and saw a sign that said “Pro-Life Bulletin Board.”
Now, I don’t want to get political here, but reading through the stuff that people had tacked up on that board taught me something fierce about marketing, and direct response marketing in particular.
Because you see, right there in the middle of that board somebody had tacked up a 4 page fundraising letter for a pro-life cause.
Just think about that for a second. Somebody had gotten a piece of “Junk mail” at their house, had read it, and had been so affected by it that they’d brought it to church with them on Sunday and tacked it up for the world to see.
Why?
Because it was good. Damned good. I read through ever word of that letter and just marveled at the craft. Whoever wrote it was a master. He told a story, used sharp language (the term “Baby killer” popped up several times), asked questions, quoted statistics and–and here’s the key bit–offended the living hell out of me.
And that’s a good thing.
Why?
Because I’m a 29-year old Northwest, yoga-doing, dance-going, church-avoiding liberal.
I’m NOT the market that letter was aimed at. I’m not the market that’s EVER going to send money to this particular cause. And the copywriter who wrote that letter? He knows that. And he also knows this little pearl of wisdom you should add to your daily affirmations: “If you’re not offending someone, you’re doing it wrong.”
When you’re selling something, you’re target market matters, and just about everyone else can go to hell.
Yea, I know, it’s 2007. I know we’re supposed to be PC and inclusive and take great pains not to get anyone’s feathers ruffled.
But when it comes to direct response marketing that’s bull. Your marketing isn’t public service and it isn’t art. It’s sales. Sales that, if you target well enough, the folks you might offend will never even see. But your target? The folks you want to get into the heads and the hearts of? The more sharp and direct and powerful your prose–the more tuned and focused it is to their way of thinking of talking and living–the more they’ll respond.
–
Quick Aside: I did find one thing to criticize in that particular letter. It was damned well written, but it read overwhelmingly mail and was “signed” by a woman. I don’t think that will tank the response or anything, but it stuck in my craw a bit.
Oh, and if you’re offended by this blog post (I can’t see why you would be, but it’s amazing what gets people’s gander up) . . . well . . .you know how I feel about that.
