My girlfriend and I were sitting around the emergency room yesterday (she sprained her ankle while getting out of bed. It wasn’t my fault, I swear) when I came up with the world’s greatest headline.
Ready to hear it?
OK:
“Baby Born Pregnant”
Now, unfortunately this headline isn’t for an ACTUAL event (I can only hope someday it will be) but it’s a great headline for a couple of reasons.
1. It’s got massive, built in CURIOSITY. When you see a headline like “Baby Born Pregnant” your mind immediately puts the breaks on whatever else you were thinking about, shouts WTF at the top of its little brain lungs and FORCES you to stop and find out more about what’s going on.
2. It’s got INCONGRUITY. It’s got that unexpected little TWIST that makes you pause for a moment and actually pay attention. It literally makes your brain HURT to think about it.
3. It creates an IMAGE in the mind of your prospects that they just can’t shut out.
4. And finally what makes this a great headline is that it sells the ARTICLE or the SALES LETTER it’s attached to and GETS YOU TO READ . . . it doesn’t try to make the whole sale all by itself.
This is actually a big point that newbie marketers miss all the time.
They try to SELL in their headline when that’s really not the job of your headline at all.
In fact, the ONLY job of your headline is to GRAB the attention of your target market and FORCE them to read the first line of your letter (or watch the first few minutes of your video.)
Your first line sells your second line, your second line sells your third and ALL the way down until it’s finally time to show your cards and reveal the AMAZING deal you’re offering if they can only get off their butts and act now.
When you think about it, realizing that headlines don’t “Sell” the product actually frees you up to have a lot more fun with you marketing.
So remember the lesson of “Baby Born Pregnant.”
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One of my marketing friends called me up a few months ago in a panic. I had to act fast to talk her off the ledge.
Here’s how it happened . . .
“Chris,” she blubbered “We’re screwed!! We opened up our cart for our launch two hours ago and have only gotten ONE sale. I already told my guy to put the multi-pay up there and cut the price to see if we can save this thing!”
And then there was a bunch more blubbering.
Blubber. Blubber. Blubber.
This actually happens all the time. Folks think their price is the number one factor keeping them from selling BAJILLIONS of widgets.
And while I totally agree that price is important and that too high or too low of a price can kill your sales, cutting your price right after you open cart is one of the WORST things you can do.
Let me explain . . .
Suppose I walked up to you and said “Hey, pay me $2,000.00 and I’ll punch you in the face.”
You’d probably say “No,” right?
OK, so what if after you say “No” I turn it around say “OK, how about I do it for $500 instead?”
Weirdly enough, I bet the answer is still no.
Dropping the price of your product NEVER works unless you actually make your customers WANT what you’ve got to sell first.
You don’t want a punch in the face at $2,000.00, at $500.00 at $5 or at ANY price at all . . .
In my friend’s case, the PRICE wasn’t actually the problem at all. The problem was that she’d never done the work of making her customers really WANT what she had to sell. she’d never painted a picture of how it was going to transform their lives. She’d never created that LUST for a product that’s at the heart of all successful launches.
And unless you create that DEEP ROOTED DESIRE for your product it doesn’t MATTER what you charge, nobody is going to buy what you’re selling.
Happy 4th.
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After your headline (or subject line for an email)
the P.S. is the second most-read part of your
sales letter.
In fact, studies have shown that readers will
often read the headline, skim their way down
your sales letter to the P.S., read that and then
climb back up to the top to figure out if they want
to read more.
P.S. are primo selling real estate, so it always shocks
me how many marketers let this “Green Zone” of
goodness go to waste.
Here are 5 ways you can use Post Scripts in emails,
sales letters and even on video pages (I do this a lot)
to up your conversions and bond better with your readers.
1. Restate Your Guarantee -
P.S. Remember, with my 90 day, you can have
my first born child guarantee
you’ve got nothing to lose.
2. Use it as a second headline -
P.S. Here’s my big
promise to you: Give me one hour a day for just 7 short
days and I’ll cure you of your second head for GOOD. Guaranteed.”
3. Give your best testimonial -
P.S. Check out this great story from Bob: “Wow is all I can
say. I didn’t think your amazing finger extenders could make my fingers
longer, but they really do! I gained 3 inches on my left pinkie alone!”
4. Drive them back to the letter by referencing a previous section -
P.S. Still wondering what happened to John and Mary? I’m happy to
say that the test results came back negative and they’re living very happily
together to this day.
(Twisting the curiosity knife there.)
5. Tell A Cautionary Tale -
P.S. Whatever you do, don’t be like THIS GUY . . .
A few weeks ago I was sitting on a bench in the park
when I saw a guy trying to feed pigeons with BREAD.
As a the foremost expert on pigeon feeding in the nation, I
knew what was going to happen next.
Unfortunately I didn’t act fast enough and could only stare
in horror as he was pecked to death by angry pigeons.
If only he’d taken advantage of my offer to give him
3 whole pounds of non-breaded pigeon feed for free . .
(ETC.)
6. BONUS (For email only): Create a completely divergent thought.
I do this a lot in launch emails where you need to get a
LOT of content across in just one email.
The cool thing about P.S.’s is that they don’t really need to have ANYTHING
to do with the rest of your message, so you can go off on a total tangent and
have it work.
So . . .
P.S. OK, quick note. A lot of folks have been asking when
we’re going to open our “Potato Gun Mastermind.” So here’s the
deal . . .
Got it?
Good.
P.S. This message has no P.S. Which is ironic.
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Any excuse for Machio . . .
Another quick copywriting tip for you today.
This one is called the “Crossroads Close” . . . and is based off a technique I learned studying the letters of the great Clayton Makepeace.
Here’s how it works:
By the time a prospects gets to the end of your letter (or your sales video or launch sequence) they should have a lot of tension built up in their chest.
Basically, they should be going through hell trying to decide if they should TAKE ACTION or RUN FOR THE HILLS . . .
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OK, this is one of the simplest and most elegant marketing lessons I’ve stumbled upon in a while.
I was hanging out in NYC last week when my buddy David Zenreich told me about the “I Wish” method of headline creation. (Dave got it from somebody else, but neither of us could remember where.)
It goes like this:
When you’re trying to gen up a headline for a letter or a video, simply write out what your prospect “wishes” would happen . . .
So if you’re selling a weight loss product to women you would write . . .
“I wish I could go to sleep tonight fat and wake up slim and healthy, finally able to slip into my skinny jeans.”
Then you just chop off the “I Wish” part and voila! Instant headline:
Astonishing medical breakthrough reveals how you can . . .
“Go To Sleep Fat And Wake Up Slim And Healthy . . . Finally Able To Slip Into Your Skinny Jeans.”
It’s a such a simple idea (and such an easy way to teach folks how to write BENEFIT oriented bullets and headlines) I’m shocked I’ve never heard of it before.
So whoever came up with this idea . . . good job!
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Does he want a bucket of water or does he want to be put out?
Imagine this . . .
You’re on fire. Your whole body. Your clothes are sheathed in flame. Your nostrils are burning. You can feel your flesh melting like candle wax or a “He-Man” action figure left out in the sun. You’re hot, hot, hot.
You run (on fire) into a room and see two big neon billboards.
Which one catches your attention? Which one do you run over to?
Option 1: “Bucket is a liquid-containing receptacle created by artisian craftsman in the Himilayas using ancient techniques. Bucket is delivered full of fresh, clear spring water devoid of all toxins. Bucket has convenient carrying handle designed to fit comfortably in all but the largest hands. Full history of bucket available upon request.”
Option 2: “If You Are On Fire, This Will Put You Out”
This sounds like a pretty silly exercise, but I think it illustrates a problem I’m seeing with a couple of my students in John Carlton’s “simple writing system” . . .
What’s the problem?
That they’re making things too complicated and that (when you get down to it) all this advertising and copywriting stuff really comes down to figuring out what somebody wants (or desperately needs . . .being on fire would suck) and GIVING IT TO THEM at a price they’re willing to pay.
Not that complicated, huh?
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Sorry, Roger . . . Praying won't make people pay for your website.
Roger Ebert can’t figure out how to make money on the internet . . .
Which to me, seems downright weird . . .
On his (excellent) blog last week Roger posted a loooong and amusing ramble about how “nobody” can figure out how to make money online . . .
(Well, nobody but porn stars, shysters and fundraiser-happy religious kooks anyway . . .)
Personally, I think Roger is one of the sharpest writers and smartest dudes working in pop culture today . .
But when it comes to internet marketing, he’s downright dumb . . .
Here’s why . . .
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It was "this" big . . .
Whew!
I rolled back into Seattle on Saturday night after a whirlwind (and drama-packed) trip to Stamford, Connecticut to speak at Ryan Lee’s “Continuity Summit” event . . .
This was my first “official” speaking engagement in the IM space (I’ve been a guest and on panels a bunch) and I gotta admit I was a little nervous about it.
Got lots of feedback saying I was the best presenter on Thurs (and one of the best of the weekend) . . .
Here’s some of the exhausting (and awesome) lessons I learned along the way . . .
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Hey folks . . .
Happy New Year!
I don’t know about you, but 2009 was BRUTAL and strange
and transformative and wonderful here in Haddad town . . .
I had my heart broken . . .
Got lasers blasted in my eyes by the target of a murder plot (seriously) . . .
Dropped 16 pounds in 5 days due to some freaky bug . . .
Lost my mind on a beach in Mexico . . .
Let go of a lifetime of secret self-loathing . . .
Made a gaggle of new friends . . .
Got arrested and humiliated in the desert (now THAT’S a story I’ll tell you someday) . . .
Got that “ADHD” thing figured out . . . (So THIS is what it’s like to concentrate)
Had some massive professional success (and a few crushing failures) . . .
And generally went through a personal “crucible”that left me battered and giddy
and flopping around like a fish out of water wondering what the heck is going to happen next.
But now 2009 is over, the slate has been wiped clean
and it’s time to get serious, clear the decks and hit 2010 HARD . . .
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Yoda knew more about marketing than he was letting on.
You remember Yoda back in Empire Strikes back?
(You know the GOOD Star Wars movie back before big George Lucas decided to make Darth Vader all emo).
In “Empire,” Yoda rides Luke around Dogabah like a whiny pony and teaches him the ways of the force . . .
Near the end of his training, Yoda tells Luke to use the force to raise his sunken Starfighter out of the swamp so he can fly off and get his hand cut off by his Dad.
Luke looks at the multi-ton X-Wing, glances at Yoda with a “you’re nuts” look on his face and (already anticipating defeat) says “OK, I’ll try.”
Which prompts Yoda to utter one of the greatest bits of pop philosophy of the last 50 years (and one of the most quoted lines in movie history.) He says . . .
Do or do not. There is no try.”
Which is great for a couple of reasons.
1. It’s one of the coolest bits of “Pop Philosophy” of the last 50 years (and makes you wonder what happened to Lucas when he started writing the downright-horrible sequels).
2. Hidden in that sage statement is some REALLY good advice for marketers and persuaders of all stripes . . . and some cool little copywriting advice that can subtly shift even “tough” prospects from tire-kicker to eager buyer in just a few little sentences.
Here’s why . . .
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