Namely, I had a lot more people trying to hire me to write copy, do launches and do interpretive dance (OK, maybe not that part) than I had time or desire to take on . . .

In order to simplify my life, I set up a series of rules and criteria for new clients. If a potential gig didn’t fulfill these criteria, I’d pass on it.

If it did, I’d at least consider taking on the job.

I call this my “Client Crucible” . . . it’s drastically simplified my life and (even if you aren’t
at the “I’ve got more work than I want” stage yet) I think it can do the same for you . . .

Here are the 5 questions I always ask myself before even considering a gig . . .

1. Does the product do what it promises?

Yeah, I know. In a perfect world I wouldn’t even have to ask this question. But the fact is there’s a LOT of crap being sold out there these days.

So before I take on a gig I like to have at least some semblance of proof a product will actually

WORK if you use it. (If you don’t use it . . . well, that’s your own problem.)
This cuts a lot of pie in the sky, lose weight and make moolah products out right away.

2. Has the client already had success?
Once you get to a certain level, you tend to get a lot of folks crawling out
of the woodwork looking for a “marketing Jesus” to come “save” them.

To get on the “maybe” list, a client has to have had some level of success in their life, either having built a business, competed in high level sports, climbed a mountain . . . something to show me that they’ve got what it takes to actually “get stuff done.”

There’s nothing worse than slaving away on a project or a sales letter that never sees the light of day.

I also generally want my clients to have some good marketing chops and a plan that goes beyond just “we’re going to put this eBook up and see what happens.”

3. Can I “leverage” the relationship?

This is a big one these days. Will doing this job create a relationship that can pay off financially or otherwise in the future? Some of my best friends and JV partners have started off as clients.

4. Is the client trying to nickel and dime meor sell me on “hope?”

Pretty self explanatory. Most of the deals I do these days are based off a retainer up front plus a chunk of sales on the back end.

If the first words out of a client’s mouth are “How much do you charge?” I know pretty much right away they’re not somebody I want to work with.

5. What does my gut tell me?

Do I “like” the people involved? Are they people I actually WANT to help become more successful?

Does the idea of working with these folks make me want to commit ritual sepuku?

This is much more a “Feel” thing than anything else, and I’ve walked away from some seemingly “great” gigs in the past because my gut was screaming that something wasn’t right.

One note: What you might notice is”Will I make a boatload” of money isn’t really on the list.

It’s not that I don’t like making money, but in my experience no amount of
money is going to compensate if you’re “In bed” with a bad client.

Possibly this is a little more than I should let on in a public forum, but heck, what’s a blog for if not for getting yourself in trouble?

Here we go:

—-

The customer is always right . . . except when he isn’t.

This morning I got comments back on a project I’m doing for a tech company.

And the comments came back in the form of the big red document of doom.

Now, having worked for tech companies in the past (I’m in Seattle, so the big M is nearby), the big red document of doom is no stranger to me.

What, you may ask, is the big red document of doom?

It’s when a client goes nuts with MS word’s track changes feature and rewrites massive amounts of copy.

Which is fine. I’ve seen it before, and I find the best thing to do when a client feels to need to go all Big red on me is to let them do it, read what they do, and then figure out what they actually mean on my own so I can do my second draft.

But the real issue here is that the client wants to go in a direction that is the fundamental opposite of what they should be doing and that rubs all my copywriting instincts the wrong way.

The client:

-Is uncomfortable using “I” and “you” in the copy or talking directly to the reader.
-Wants to use “Stronger” language like “initiate” and “solutions” (personally, I think 5 dollar words like that are weaker, not stronger.)
-Wants to have “edge” while maintaining “professionalism” and “following industry standards.”

Which, when put up next to what they said they wanted before I got to work on the project, really all comes down to them not really knowing what they want.

Now, it’s a B2B company. I’ve written a fair share of B2B in the past, and in my experience the B2B copy that works is the B2B copy that realizes that even high powered CEOs are just people like you and me. Yes, you respect them, yes you talk about their “business needs” but no, you shouldn’t use the same old meaningless jargon everybody else does just because you want to sound “professional.”

So here’s my big challenge:

How do I give my client good, hard-working copy, when my client thinks that bad copy is good and that good copy is bad? How do I do what I do best–help them make money–when they’re asking me to write like a generic also ran?

Do I give them what they want or do I fight for what they need?

I’d love to hear your comments.

Sorry for the radio silence there. I was buried to my nose in work and theatre stuff and then got hit by the cold to end all colds. 30 or so hours of sleep later and more ibuprofen than I can count and I’m back to my normal writer-monkey self.

I’ve also been busily posting on the Biznik Blog so if you just can’t wait for that Haddonic goodness, shoot on over there.