Does he want a bucket of water or does he want to be put out?
Imagine this . . .
You’re on fire. Your whole body. Your clothes are sheathed in flame. Your nostrils are burning. You can feel your flesh melting like candle wax or a “He-Man” action figure left out in the sun. You’re hot, hot, hot.
You run (on fire) into a room and see two big neon billboards.
Which one catches your attention? Which one do you run over to?
Option 1: “Bucket is a liquid-containing receptacle created by artisian craftsman in the Himilayas using ancient techniques. Bucket is delivered full of fresh, clear spring water devoid of all toxins. Bucket has convenient carrying handle designed to fit comfortably in all but the largest hands. Full history of bucket available upon request.”
Option 2: “If You Are On Fire, This Will Put You Out”
This sounds like a pretty silly exercise, but I think it illustrates a problem I’m seeing with a couple of my students in John Carlton’s “simple writing system” . . .
What’s the problem?
That they’re making things too complicated and that (when you get down to it) all this advertising and copywriting stuff really comes down to figuring out what somebody wants (or desperately needs . . .being on fire would suck) and GIVING IT TO THEM at a price they’re willing to pay.
Steve Jobs will bite off your face if you mess with his iPhone Launch
Quick quiz: You walk up to Steve Jobs. You look him straight in the eye (aren’t you brave) and you say, with a lot of confidence and bravado in your voice, “Steve, you’ve got two choices:
Choice one is we cut off your left hand right here, right now, cauterize the wound on a hot car engine, add some nice seasoning and make you watch as we use your digits to feed our particularly carnivorous and hungry goldfish pet goldfish.
Choice two is we break Apple’s vaunted secrecy and security and actually let a fully-featured iPhone 4G prototype out into the wild MONTHS before you’re ready to launch the thing . . .
It was pretty to look at, sure. But in that vacuous, crazy way Hollywood seems to prefer these days. Pretty like an ice sculpture. Pretty like a punch in the face.
But bloodless in the purest sense. It lacked anything resembling life.
I saw it at the Imax. My girlfriend and I got there late and had to stand up and dance around in the back of the theater at first. Then we saw seats way down in front of the screen. We snuck like sneaky rabbits, hunched down in our seats and stared up at the God-sized face of Johnny Depp.
