The upside to my fancy new digs at Office Nomads is that I don’t spend nearly as much time alone in my home-office/prison with nothing but a giant goldfish to keep me company.
The downside is that it makes it a hell of a lot easier for mop-topped ski bums to sidle up to my desk and ask for free advice.
An old friend popped by today wondering how the hell he can figure out the perfect market for his product and cut to the core what the heck he’s actually selling.
I gave him some advice that made his eyes light up and his teeth to shine all bright and scary.
It’s phenomenally, almost-stupidly simple advice, and I’m going to share it with you right now.
Here’s what I told him to do:
If you’ve spent any time reading great sales letters and marketing copy, then you’ve probably noticed that one particular open tends to pop up again and again and again. In fact, this is kind of the “fall back”
opening sentence that greats like John Carlton, Gary Halbert, Brian Keith Voiles, David Garfinkel and a raft of others call on when they’re first cracking into a letter and putting their magic “moneyfingers” to work.
What is it?
The classic “If (problem or desire) then this is going to be the most important letter you ever read.”
For instance:
“If you’ve ever wanted to drive a golf ball with the explosive force of a howitzer cannon . . . ”
“If you have any interest at all in putting the real power of online video to tremendously profitable use for your business. . . ”
“If you have high blood pressure and are sick of the drugs, the pain and the fear . . ”
It’s an amazingly versatile way to get your letter going and to mark out to your prospects that what you’re selling is really for them.
But if you turn it on its head, the old “If, Then” open is a phenomenal way to help you figure out what you’re really selling and who you really should be selling it to.
Here’s what I told my ski bum buddy (and what I’m going to tell you too).
If you’re having trouble figuring out your market, your offer or what’s really unique about what you’ve got to sell, just play a little fill in the blank.
“If you’re a (BLANK) who wants to (BLANK), then this will be the most important message you ever read.”
Don’t over think it. Don’t try to get fancy. Just very calmly fill in the blanks.
Fill up a whole page with possibilities. Have fun with it.
And, as you go, be as specific as you can.
Who is this really for?
Who is this really important to?
So saying “If you want to make more money, this will be the most important message you ever read.” won’t get you anywhere. It’s too broad, weak and limp and applies to everybody.
But saying “If you’re a mom who’s sick of leaving your kids with a stranger every morning and wants to make $3,000.00 a month like clockwork while working from home and having plenty of time to give your kids the love and attention they deserve, this will be the most important message you will ever read.” is a heck of a lot better.
The key is to be specific to the point that you come up with something that calls out to your market in a way where they almost have to raise their hands.
Something so powerful that it makes them feel like you walked into a crowded room and just shouted their name.
And now here’s the fun part. Once you’ve got your If/Then statement, write down the why.
Why is this message going to be so important? What amazing result are you going to deliver to them? What does your product do that will make just learning about it so darned valuable to your prospects?
Now, this post really isn’t about writing copy. It’s about getting your product, your target and your position super clear in your mind.
And it’s a little trick that you can use right now to drastically cut down the time it takes to define your market, figure out what your product does and come up with an almost-stupidly powerful message that your target market just can’t resist.
The comment key is right there. What’s your If/Then/Why?
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Just got back from Ken McCarthy’s System Intensive in Vancouver,
Canada. Really it was just an excuse to get up North for the
weekend . . . and for my friend Katie to have her car broken into
by some wiley Canucks. Beautiful city, though, check it out if you
get the chance.
In this issue:
* How to take your solo business from struggle to six figures in
six months or less.
* Phil Collins is a Big Hairy Ape
=========================
How To Take Your Solo Business From Struggle To Six Figures In Six
Months Or Less
=========================
Beth Yockey-Jones and I are on a mission to help indie pros and
solo small business folks crack the six figure mark and join the
ranks of the upper lower middle sideways class.
But to do it right, we need your help. If you’re a solo pro (no
teeming offices full of pouty-faced employees) do me a favor and
pop over to . . .
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=N69PCmnuewj2N0Is_2bEBqGg_3d_3d
. . . and fill out our handy dandy survey. I don’t have anything
to bribe you with, but if you help us you can feast on the
satisfaction of a job well done.
========================
Phil Collins Is A Big Hairy (Expensive And Ineffective) Monkey
========================
I love Phil Collins.
Love him.
I mean, I know it’s not cool to say . . . but ever since I first
saw Genesis’ “Land Of Confusion” video back in 1986, I’ve been an
un-ironic fan.
Something about a Ronald Reagan puppet slamming the “Big Red
Button” and triggering nuclear annihilation on a global scale just
warmed the cockles of my then nine-year-old heart . . . and sent me
bounding around the house like a dangerous ADD-addled cyclone.
(To this day, all I have to do is hum a few bars of that cold war
anthem to make my poor mom shiver, twitch and curl up in the fetal
position to cry.)
So when I was sitting in a Vancouver movie theatre on Friday and
heard the first couple lines of Phil’s “In The Air Tonight”, my
ears perked up.
What followed over the next two minutes was one of the coolest
little bits of viral video I’ve ever seen. . . and a *really,
really, really bad ad.*
You see, on Friday that whole roomful of pantsless Canadians and I
(as far as I can tell, Canadians always wear t-shirts and shorts,
even when it’s bitterly, bitterly cold) watched in rapt attention
as a thick-fingered ape pounded out the beat to Collins’ 1981
classic.
It was a heck of a piece of filmmaking. The camera focused in close
on the monkey’s flared nostrils. It glided up his cheek to see the
intensity in his eyes. And then it pulled back just in time for the
big “DU-BBA . . .DU-BBA . . .DU-BBA” bit that kicks off the song
proper.
Me and the whole crowd? Just quiet and shocked. Watching that
weirdly real-looking ape work the high hat, pound on the skins and
keep time better than most modern rock drummers was literally
*dumbfounding.*
But as an ad? It *sucked.*
Why? Because that big ape with the drum sticks has been stuck in my
brain for *days* now . . . but 20 seconds after the ad flickered
off the screen I couldn’t remember what the hell it was supposed to
be selling.
Because *It Wasn’t Selling Anything At All.*
Now, I can imagine the pitch meeting where some cool-glasses
wearing creative type laid out the “strategy” behind this thing
(“Well, you see, the Ape is experiencing Joy and our tag line is
that Cadbury creates Joy.”) . . . and I bet the suits at Cadbury
(theoretically this ad is supposed to be selling Cadbury . . .um. .
.pudding? I’ve seen the ad three times and I’m still not quite
sure.) are *ecstatic* at the reception they’re getting from their
golf buddies. I mean, heck, people have seen the ad! People are
talking about their monkey!
*But in ground level marketing reality this is a tremendous flop
and a phenomenal waste of money.*
In direct marketing, there’s a really simple ad-writing formula
called “AIDA.” It stands for “Attention, Interest, Desire and
Action” and is a basic map most copywriters and real marketing
folks use when trying to close a sale. You get attention, develop
interest, create desire and then ask for action. It’s simple and
effective and has been used to sell *billions* of dollars of
information and stuff over the years.
Just for fun, let’s apply the AIDA test to our drumming ape.
Now, for me at least (and most of the Canadian crowd at the movies
on Friday) this thing did a *great job* of getting my attention. I
mean, heck, it’s an ape drumming along to Phil Collins. What more
do you need.
And for it’s full 2 minutes, the ad kept my interest.
But desire? Action? Uh uh. The only *desire* I had after watching
this thing was to listen to some old Genesis records . .. and the
only action I took was to store the experience away in my brain to
rant about on Monday morning.
Now, I can hear the ad weasels on my list grumbling and
complaining, saying that this wasn’t a direct response ad and was
just meant to “Build the Cadbury brand.”
But even by that weak, weak argument (in my opinion *all* ads
should be designed with a set response in mind) this thing is an
utter failure. Why? Because a drumming monkey doesn’t have a damn
thing to do with chocolate and never will.
=============================
OK, Haddad, You Don’t Like The Ad, But What’s The Lesson Here?
=============================
Just this: There’s a big lie put out there that you can *entertain*
people into buying your stuff. And there’s a sliver (just a sliver)
of truth to that. If you’re entertaining enough people *might*
stick around to hear what you say. But that doesn’t give you a pass
to ignore *basic* salesmanship. The fact of the matter is that
Cadbury has spent *millions* producing this ad and buying space to
show it off . . . and that they probably aren’t going to make a
single additional sale of their stuff ( . .um. . . what the hell
were they selling again?) because of it.
You can check out the drumming monkey (in all his dumbfounding,
ineffective glory) at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0-aIms6oKY&watch_response
And if you want to see a company that really *gets* how to use
entertaining video to sell its stuff, head on over to
http://www.willitblend.com/
Blender + iPhone + Good Kitschy Production values = a blender
selling powerhouse.
And that’s it folks. You can find more on the Hard Working Words
Blog at http://www.haddadink.com/blog
Happy Thanksgiving.
c
About This Newsletter and Your Subscription
=======================================
©2007 Haddad Ink. Copywriting Services. All Rights Reserved.
If you like this article
=======================
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===================================================
Haddad Ink., 1463 E. Republican St. #28A, Seattle, WA 98112
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Eric’s a smart ass (a tall smart ass who’s only 21 but who makes truckloads online.)
“When I first met Chris Haddad I thought he was an odd looking bald man
who had a strange pension for salsa dancing.. Later though he proved to
be one of the most natural copywriters I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.
This guys cranks out more high converting, excitement generating copy than
anyone else in the business, and he does it faster too!
If you’re looking to rapidly grow your profits with copy you can count on
converting well from the start look no further than Chris… Despite his love of
dance and premature baldness he’s a great guy and extremely talented
(especially at his surprisingly low rates!).
He is who I turn to, and you should too…. But make sure you give him a hard time 
”
Eric Farewell
Internet Marketing Guru Advisor & Launch Manager
www.EricFarewell.com
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I think this is the first time in six months that I’ve had pants on before 11AM . . . and it feels great.
I’m plopped down in a cheap but comfy office chair at Office Nomads–a big brick-walled dream put together by local tech-geek and cap-wearer Jacob Sayles. ON’s new space cavernous–over 5,000 square feet–and decked out with donuts, coffee, a printer and a bunch of smiling Seattle Indie Pros blinking at the light and remembering what it’s like to be out of their home-office caves and out in the world again.
I’ve gotten more done in the last hour than I typically do all day working at home. And as part of ON’s grand opening he’s letting people plop down and work for free.
Check it out at officenomads.com . . . and come down and get some damn work done.
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