So once upon a time I took an advertising class.
It was a class all about how to concept print ads and come up with “creative” ways to sell products.
Every week we’d be given a product and told to go off and come up with ideas.
And the next week we’d post those ideas–crudely drawn on pieces of white paper with thick black marker– up on the wall to be judged.
And the teacher and the class would stare at them with quizzical, thoughtful looks on their faces, and eventually someone would say “I like it, but is it creative?”
And the whole class would nod.
Because in the ad world, “creativity” is what matters.
Which I always found kind of funny.
Because. . . I mean, I’m a pretty creative guy.
But aren’t we supposed to be selling stuff here?
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Ok, so if you’re in Seattle, you’ve probably heard the hubub about our new slogan.
I mean, heck, it was all over the papers.
And they painted it in 18 foot high letters on the top of the Space Needle.
And are spending something like 200 grand to promote it in an attempt to pump up tourism before the Winter Olympics hit Vancouver in 2010.
Of course it’s not really a slogan.
It’s a word.
A made up word.
A word that goes “Metronatural.”
A word that makes all my friends–most of whom are normal Seattlites who spend not one minute of their day thinking about branding and marketing–twist up their faces a bit and go “huzzuwuzzahuh?”
Or, worse yet, laugh.
They go like this. They go “Ha. Ha. Ha. Well, at least it’s better than ‘Say Wa.’”
And then they toss back a beer and a snicker and go on with their lives.
While I sit there and stew a bit with my thinking cap on.
So here’s the big question: As a brand building exercise–as an attempt to change the way the world thinks about Seattle–does “Metronatural” work?
Is this “bold new brand” going to rocket Seattle to untold heights of touristy goodness and forever wipe the scar of grunge from the face of our fair city?
Or is it going to go down in history as just another example of the folley of the ad world? A bumpy footnote that draws stifled giggles and head slaps from Seattlites for decades to come?
Because, honestly, the core strategy behind “Metronatural” is solid. Seattle really is a city where Urban meets Wild and Metro meets Natural. (Personally, I think they would have been better off just saying “Seattle: Where Urban Meets Wild.” It’s not perfect, but it’s got some legs and is a bit cheeky.)
But unfortunately the agency (which is full of good and smart people with good and smart ideas) got too cute and clever for their own good.
Or worse yet, they listened when the client said “ohh, I like that.”
And now us poor Seattlites have to pay the price for at least four years as ad after ad and promotion after promotion tell us that we are, in fact, Metronatural.
Which is kind of funny for a city with such a poor public transit system.
Maybe it just means we should all stop shaving.
Sigh.
Branding is dangerous. You should have to get a license to do it.
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I was at Liberty on 15th last night, bouncing on my heels a bit after having a huge meal with my brother and his wife. At one point a woman asked me what I did for a living. I said I was a marketing consultant and that I wrote copy — that I sell stuff with words.
Her whole face brightened up and she said “I do fundraising. So I do a lot of writing for that. But what I really want is to be a real writer. You know. I want to have my name on things.”
I guffawed.
Really, I did.
Because to me being a real writer means being someone who does something with words. Someone who has an effect.
But to her, it was all about fame (though not fortune), ego and a false sense of integrity.
I mean good luck to her, but I’d rather be right here on the ground “Really” writing and “really” making a living doing something I love.
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I’ve been working on a sales letter today. Here’s a subhead I’m particularly happy with:
“You Can Have Customers Coming After Your Products and Services Like Zombies After Braaaaaiiiinnnnnnnsssss. . . . ”
Sometimes I like my job.
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Michael Max is a heck of an acupuncturist, a world traveller, a fellow bald-headed troubadour and an all around nice guy. He also writes good responses to things. Here’s what he had to say about the most recent HWW newsletter:
And completely agree that much of learning is really about unlearning
something that might have at one time been a perfect solution, but now has
evolved into into a problem. Or simply stagnated past it's pull date and
needs to be done away with. Either way, once something becomes
"infrastructure" it's hard to do away with. Sometimes you just need
perseverance and blasting caps.
I really dig Michael’s comment about “infrastructure” getting in the way.
c
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I was bouncing around some copywriting boards this morning and found posted what might just be the worst sales letter ever. (The guy who posted it on the board got it in the mail and was so appalled he felt the need to share.) Here it is:
Dear Sir / Madam
Welcome to the new XXXX marketing campaign. We have officially adopted Einstein and other wise men to provide us with great business ideas.
The XXXX team have had great success this year with a previous campaign. We ran the “Da Vinci” Marketing Code campaign and were inundated with enquiries and orders for our service.
The reason for our new theme is the result of our recent success! The XXX team were running low on TIME hence our new theme. So we have recruited a bigger team!
We can provide an outstanding service that will provide you and your team with more time to create new business opportunities.
So if you need anything from “PRINT TO POST” we are the expert team to give YOU the TIME to grow new business!!
XXXX would love to provide you with TIME, so if we can help please take the time to:-
(followed by website, email, telephone, fax info)
Ok, dear readers. Have some fun. What’s wrong with this thing? Is it the lack of any real and discernible benefit? Is it the completely passive prose? Is it the fact that all the letter does is talk about how great the XXXX team is? Is it . . .dear god, I could go on and on. I could spend a whole day just drilling through this thing and pulling it apart. It’s like copy crime salad.
Remember, folks, a good sales letter:
-Is benefit oriented.
-Is about the prospect, not about you.
-Doesn’t read like stereo instructions.
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Hey folks,
Welcome to the all new, all different HardWorking Words Newsletter.
It’s leaner. It’s meaner. It’s . . .uh . . .just plain text in an
email and a lot less likely to get kiboshed by overambitious spam
blockers.
Got a friend who wants to subscribe? Have them send an email to
hwwords@aweber.com or point them towards
http://www.haddadink.com/newsletter.
In today’s big issue (number 21 for those of us who are counting),
I’ll dig around in the marketing toy trunk and talk about teaching
old customers new tricks.
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Why Marketing and Educating are the Same Thing
=====================================
My keyboard is like some weird sort of alien steering device.
People who pop by HWW central and try and type something usually
get this glazed and confused look on their faces. Very occasionally
they pass out. And that’s always hard to explain.
You see, a few years ago I was suffering from horrible and
debilitating tendonitis. Using my mouse was like being repeatedly
bit on the wrist by an overzealous ferret. And trying to type was a
plodding and painful affair that usually ended with me icing my
wrists and trying to peck out prose with my nose.
=====================================
So I decided to do something about it.
=====================================
First, I bought my weird alien steering device keyboard (made by
the fine folks at Kinesis, who make damned good products and do
damned bad marketing.) And second, I decided to learn how to type
in the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard Layout.
Now, for those of you who aren’t nearly the geek I am, Dvorak is a
layout developed back in 1936 by a guy named August Dvorak. It’s a
lot more efficient and comfortable than QWERTY and makes your
fingers “travel” less as you type away. Less travel. Less work.
Less pain. Sounded good to me.
So I downloaded a typing tutor (it had a Viking. I called him the
typing Viking) and got to work learning how to write all over again.
*And within about five minutes I had an aneurism and collapsed into
a frothing-at-the-mouth mess on my office floor.*
Because, you see, I wasn’t just trying to learn something new, I
was trying to *unlearn* something old. I’d spent more than 20
years tick-ticking away on QWERTY boards, and as I tried to follow
along to the typing Viking’s instructions, I could literally feel
the gears in my head grinding up against each other, sparks and
smoke coming off, pathways in my brain resisting every stroke.
Sitting there with my keyboard staring up at me, I think I got a tiny,
tiny taste of what it’s like for stroke victims who have to
learn how to talk again.
==============================================================
SO, WHY AM I SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TELLING YOU ABOUT MY TYPING
HABITS?
==============================================================
Oh, come on, dear readers. You’re a smart bunch. I bet you’ve
already figured out. When you get right down to it, good marketing
is educating. You need to *teach* prospective customers why it
is that your product or service is the one that’s going to bring
the biggest benefit to their lives.
And what’s the biggest obstacle to teaching your customers
something new? You got it. All that old stuff–all those old ways
of doing things, old ways of thinking about things and
misconceptions–that are already clogging up their heads.
This is why cool technologies like RSS, podcasting. . . uh. . cars
. . . take a while to catch hold. To the technorati and the geek
set the big benefits are obvious. But everybody else already has it
set in their head how they get news and listen to the radio and get
across town.
If you’ve got a product that challenges the way people
have done things before, you’ve got do all the hard work of teaching
your customers what’s so great about it and hold their sweaty hands
as they go through the gear grinding phase of taking all that cobwebby old
stuff out of their brains and replacing it with your shiny, new and
hopefully better way of doing things.
The upside? Once you’ve done the edu-ma-cating, you’ve probably got
a customer for a good long time (I’ll never go back to QWERTY.) The
bad news? Teaching your customers takes time, effort, multiple
hits, long copy and a willingness to stick your mud and believe in
what you’ve got to offer through all the objections, naysays and
curmudgeonly grunts.
Fun, huh?
If you want to talk about this more, shoot me a line at chris@haddadink.com
======================================
See you next month, folks. In the meantime pop on by the Hard
Working Words Blog at http://www.haddadink.com/blog or listen to my
dulcet tones at the Biznik Podcast at
http://www.biznik.com/podcasts. And keep an eye out for my new
blog, podcastmarketingtricks.com, launching sometime next week.
=======================================
About This Newsletter and Your Subscription
=======================================
©2006 Haddad Ink. Copywriting Services. All Rights Reserved.
If you like this article
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Please notify me when my article is used online and off line.
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Hey folks,
I’m hard at work this Saturday morning pumping out HWW 21. Now, I changed list managers recently and as part of the deal all you fine subscribers have to confirm your subscription to the hottest little marketing newsletter in the world. If you didn’t get the confirmation email, or were just too lazy to reply to it, send a blank message to hwwords@aweber.com and the robots will take care of everything.
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Down in California I met this whacky Canadian named Brian Hogg. Brian does a show called DotBoom which is, I’m unafraid to say, absolutely freaking hilarious.
If you work in advertising, marketing or design (or have just spent time dealing with office politics and idiocy) check it out. It’s Canadian! And has puppets!!
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This one’s for all you copywriters in the audience. Come over to the corner with me for a second. don’t worry, no one else can hear.
Alright kids, I know. I know your plight. I know you wake up nights sweating, wondering how you can best serve your clients when your clients aren’t much interested in best serving themselves.
I know you worry about the age old question “Who are you writing for?”
Because here’s the problem. If you’ve spent any time as a wordslinger, you know that while you SHOULD only be thinking about what your target market is going to like and respond to, you ACTUALLY spend all your time thinking about what your CLIENT is going to like and respond to.
Because most clients–especially clients who don’t have any marketing experience–make the absolutely deadly mistake of thinking that what they like and what their target likes are the same thing.
Which is sort of like thinking everyone else likes pistachio and swedish fish ice cream just because you do.
It’s driven many a writer to commit ritual sepuku, slaving away on hard-working copy that pushes all the right buttons and uses all the best selling tricks only to have a client come back and say “Well, can we use optimize a few more times here? And I really don’t like the way you use “You” all over the place.”
So what do you do? How do you make sure you give your clients copy that’s actually going to work while still letting them feel like they’ve got a real hand in the copywriting process?
You get sneaky. You write the “First Draft of Over the Top Awesomeness.”
Now, this is a trick that should only be used in extreme circumstances. But if you’ve got a client you suspect is going to red-line your copy to death, and who thinks he’s the target market even when he obviously isn’t, you’ve got to write a first draft so far out there that he’s guaranteed to hate it. And I mean hate. You’ve got to get witty. You’ve got to get clever. You’ve got to steal whole passages from Finnegan’s Wake.
And then you send it off to the client.
And you wait.
And after all the comments come back, you go and write the copy you wanted to write in the first place. And this time? This time I’ll bet the client will be just thrilled, the target market will be all sorts of amped up and you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you did your marketing best.
Happy Friday. Currently I’m slaving away on HWW #21, putting together a few proposals and setting up a brand new blog I’ll be sure to key you in on later.
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