Chris "Mr. Moneyfingers" Haddad... Jeff Walker-Trained Product Launch Manager, Results-based marketing consultant, frankly-awesome direct response copywriter, strangely good dancer, capitalist hippie and all around great guy. On this site he shares all sorts of tips and tricks on how to make good money in bad times... opines fiercely on things that matter to him and occasionally goes a tad bit nuts. Plus he can do that thing with his eyebrow.
My girlfriend and I were sitting around the emergency room yesterday (she sprained her ankle while getting out of bed. It wasn’t my fault, I swear) when I came up with the world’s greatest headline.
Ready to hear it?
OK:
“Baby Born Pregnant”
Now, unfortunately this headline isn’t for an ACTUAL event (I can only hope someday it will be) but it’s a great headline for a couple of reasons.
1. It’s got massive, built in CURIOSITY. When you see a headline like “Baby Born Pregnant” your mind immediately puts the breaks on whatever else you were thinking about, shouts WTF at the top of its little brain lungs and FORCES you to stop and find out more about what’s going on.
2. It’s got INCONGRUITY. It’s got that unexpected little TWIST that makes you pause for a moment and actually pay attention. It literally makes your brain HURT to think about it.
3. It creates an IMAGE in the mind of your prospects that they just can’t shut out.
4. And finally what makes this a great headline is that it sells the ARTICLE or the SALES LETTER it’s attached to and GETS YOU TO READ . . . it doesn’t try to make the whole sale all by itself.
This is actually a big point that newbie marketers miss all the time.
They try to SELL in their headline when that’s really not the job of your headline at all.
In fact, the ONLY job of your headline is to GRAB the attention of your target market and FORCE them to read the first line of your letter (or watch the first few minutes of your video.)
Your first line sells your second line, your second line sells your third and ALL the way down until it’s finally time to show your cards and reveal the AMAZING deal you’re offering if they can only get off their butts and act now.
When you think about it, realizing that headlines don’t “Sell” the product actually frees you up to have a lot more fun with you marketing.
One of my marketing friends called me up a few months ago in a panic. I had to act fast to talk her off the ledge.
Here’s how it happened . . .
“Chris,” she blubbered “We’re screwed!! We opened up our cart for our launch two hours ago and have only gotten ONE sale. I already told my guy to put the multi-pay up there and cut the price to see if we can save this thing!”
And then there was a bunch more blubbering.
Blubber. Blubber. Blubber.
This actually happens all the time. Folks think their price is the number one factor keeping them from selling BAJILLIONS of widgets.
And while I totally agree that price is important and that too high or too low of a price can kill your sales, cutting your price right after you open cart is one of the WORST things you can do.
Let me explain . . .
Suppose I walked up to you and said “Hey, pay me $2,000.00 and I’ll punch you in the face.”
You’d probably say “No,” right?
OK, so what if after you say “No” I turn it around say “OK, how about I do it for $500 instead?”
Weirdly enough, I bet the answer is still no.
Dropping the price of your product NEVER works unless you actually make your customers WANT what you’ve got to sell first.
You don’t want a punch in the face at $2,000.00, at $500.00 at $5 or at ANY price at all . . .
In my friend’s case, the PRICE wasn’t actually the problem at all. The problem was that she’d never done the work of making her customers really WANT what she had to sell. she’d never painted a picture of how it was going to transform their lives. She’d never created that LUST for a product that’s at the heart of all successful launches.
And unless you create that DEEP ROOTED DESIRE for your product it doesn’t MATTER what you charge, nobody is going to buy what you’re selling.
When I “quit my job” back in January I suddenly found myself in a “weird” and pretty cool situation . . .
Namely, I had a lot more people trying to hire me to write copy, do launches and do interpretive dance (OK, maybe not that part) than I had time or desire to take on . . .
In order to simplify my life, I set up a series of rules and criteria for new clients. If a potential gig didn’t fulfill these criteria, I’d pass on it.
If it did, I’d at least consider taking on the job.
I call this my “Client Crucible” . . . it’s drastically simplified my life and (even if you aren’t
at the “I’ve got more work than I want” stage yet) I think it can do the same for you . . . (more…)
After your headline (or subject line for an email)
the P.S. is the second most-read part of your
sales letter.
In fact, studies have shown that readers will
often read the headline, skim their way down
your sales letter to the P.S., read that and then
climb back up to the top to figure out if they want
to read more.
P.S. are primo selling real estate, so it always shocks
me how many marketers let this “Green Zone” of
goodness go to waste.
Here are 5 ways you can use Post Scripts in emails,
sales letters and even on video pages (I do this a lot)
to up your conversions and bond better with your readers.
1. Restate Your Guarantee -
P.S. Remember, with my 90 day, you can have
my first born child guarantee
you’ve got nothing to lose.
2. Use it as a second headline -
P.S. Here’s my big
promise to you: Give me one hour a day for just 7 short
days and I’ll cure you of your second head for GOOD. Guaranteed.”
3. Give your best testimonial -
P.S. Check out this great story from Bob: “Wow is all I can
say. I didn’t think your amazing finger extenders could make my fingers
longer, but they really do! I gained 3 inches on my left pinkie alone!”
4. Drive them back to the letter by referencing a previous section -
P.S. Still wondering what happened to John and Mary? I’m happy to
say that the test results came back negative and they’re living very happily
together to this day.
(Twisting the curiosity knife there.)
5. Tell A Cautionary Tale -
P.S. Whatever you do, don’t be like THIS GUY . . .
A few weeks ago I was sitting on a bench in the park
when I saw a guy trying to feed pigeons with BREAD.
As a the foremost expert on pigeon feeding in the nation, I
knew what was going to happen next.
Unfortunately I didn’t act fast enough and could only stare
in horror as he was pecked to death by angry pigeons.
If only he’d taken advantage of my offer to give him
3 whole pounds of non-breaded pigeon feed for free . .
(ETC.)
6. BONUS (For email only): Create a completely divergent thought.
I do this a lot in launch emails where you need to get a
LOT of content across in just one email.
The cool thing about P.S.’s is that they don’t really need to have ANYTHING
to do with the rest of your message, so you can go off on a total tangent and
have it work.
So . . .
P.S. OK, quick note. A lot of folks have been asking when
we’re going to open our “Potato Gun Mastermind.” So here’s the
deal . . .
(You’ll have to hit the “show transcript” button to
read it.)
The short version of Dunning Kruger is that “dumb” or uninformed people tend to hold drastically inflated opinions of how “right” they are about something . . .
(“2+2 = 5 and I will FIGHT YOU TO DEATH if you disagree with me!”
While “smart” or more educated people tend to hold drastically DEFLATED
opinions of what they know.
This one is called the “Crossroads Close” . . . and is based off a technique I learned studying the letters of the great Clayton Makepeace.
Here’s how it works:
By the time a prospects gets to the end of your letter (or your sales video or launch sequence) they should have a lot of tension built up in their chest.
Basically, they should be going through hell trying to decide if they should TAKE ACTION or RUN FOR THE HILLS . . .
OK, this is one of the simplest and most elegant marketing lessons I’ve stumbled upon in a while.
I was hanging out in NYC last week when my buddy David Zenreich told me about the “I Wish” method of headline creation. (Dave got it from somebody else, but neither of us could remember where.)
It goes like this:
When you’re trying to gen up a headline for a letter or a video, simply write out what your prospect “wishes” would happen . . .
So if you’re selling a weight loss product to women you would write . . .
“I wish I could go to sleep tonight fat and wake up slim and healthy, finally able to slip into my skinny jeans.”
Then you just chop off the “I Wish” part and voila! Instant headline:
Astonishing medical breakthrough reveals how you can . . . “Go To Sleep Fat And Wake Up Slim And Healthy . . . Finally Able To Slip Into Your Skinny Jeans.”
It’s a such a simple idea (and such an easy way to teach folks how to write BENEFIT oriented bullets and headlines) I’m shocked I’ve never heard of it before.
Check out this weird little video I put together for you. It’s not about “marketing” exactly, but it will challenge a lot of ideas you might have about making money online.
Just picked up a bluetooth keyboard for my iPad. Took me a few minutes of bleary-eyed, post-party decisionifying to decide between the bluetooth and the Apple keyboard dock (especially since nefarious Apple made them the EXACT SAME PRICE) but the bluetooth won out in the end for versatility reasons.
Really impressed with the iPad as a “writing machine.” Reminds me of my old Brother word processor from high school. Clean and useful and not mucked up with a bunch of extra stuff you don’t need.
Planning on taking notes on a book I’m thinking about writing on this thing over the next year. Will report back with thoughts.
Does he want a bucket of water or does he want to be put out?
Imagine this . . .
You’re on fire. Your whole body. Your clothes are sheathed in flame. Your nostrils are burning. You can feel your flesh melting like candle wax or a “He-Man” action figure left out in the sun. You’re hot, hot, hot.
You run (on fire) into a room and see two big neon billboards.
Which one catches your attention? Which one do you run over to?
Option 1: “Bucket is a liquid-containing receptacle created by artisian craftsman in the Himilayas using ancient techniques. Bucket is delivered full of fresh, clear spring water devoid of all toxins. Bucket has convenient carrying handle designed to fit comfortably in all but the largest hands. Full history of bucket available upon request.”
Option 2: “If You Are On Fire, This Will Put You Out”
This sounds like a pretty silly exercise, but I think it illustrates a problem I’m seeing with a couple of my students in John Carlton’s “simple writing system” . . .
What’s the problem?
That they’re making things too complicated and that (when you get down to it) all this advertising and copywriting stuff really comes down to figuring out what somebody wants (or desperately needs . . .being on fire would suck) and GIVING IT TO THEM at a price they’re willing to pay.
